Nap Time « Back to Group Discussions

[LunaLady]

So we've been doing better with the crying since making sure Rhyko has some decent naps in during the day. We only get like 2 or 3 nights a week, now, where he's crying inconsolably and they are usually the day AFTER he's had a poor nap day. Like yesterday night he cried - but he had slept well that day, but the day before had almost no nap time (we packed too many outings into one day) and that seems to be his pattern. But, even when I'm home all week and he gets good naps in, sometimes he'll still be cranky.

Anyhow... as he's getting older it is getting harder to get him down for a nap. As recently as just a couple weeks ago I could slip him into his swing after he fell asleep at the breast or after coming home from an outing and he's fallen asleep in his carseat. So I could just put him in his swing and he'd make that transition just fine because he was so asleep. Now, though, he's waking up much easier and is fully awake by the time I'm snapping him into his swing. And then he doesn't want to nap - despite rubbing his eyes like a mad man - and starts crying. So I pick him up, potty him, change a diaper if necessary and put him back to the breast. Falls asleep. Rinse, repeat. And I do sometimes just leave him at the breast and he sleep nurses for his two or three hour nap.. but I really can't do that every day sometimes twice a day! It kills my body to hold those positions for that long and I really would rather be doing other things during that time!

Today I just decided to let him cry. Am I horrible? I brought in some laundry that needed folding (diaper laundry) and sat on the floor in front of his swing and sang a laundry folding song and he just cried. He had just been changed, fed, and held. He was eye rubbing. Clearly sleepy. It was four hours after we woke up for the day.

Anyhow, he finally did fall asleep, before I got all the diapers folded. So probably about ten minutes.

How do you all do nap times for the little ones? I just can't seem to get it right. He is a sleep fighter, clearly. Thankfully he's really pretty good all night long - but the naps and getting to bed at night just seem to be a struggle!

And he absolutely will not sleep in a carrier. He's not a big fan of them. He's fine in the Maya while we're out and about, but to sleep he will not have it. And I can't get him comfortably in the Ergo right now. His legs won't do it, yet.

[Abraisme]

This all sounds like really normal baby behavior.  Even the fact that he won't nap well in a carrier.  After about 3 months old neither of mine would sleep in a carrier for more than a few minutes.  Also, my kids won't transfer once they're asleep.  If one of my kids falls asleep in the car, I would leave them in the carseat for as long as possible.  If I'm home, I would nurse them in a bed and then roll away once they were sleeping.  Also, try to time outtings somewhat around naps if you can, that way he can get at least one good nap per day. 

Personally, I don't think that I would leave my baby to cry in a swing.  I would probably hold or bounce until she was sleeping.  That, or lay down in a bed and nurse.  Babies seem to know that they're supposed to sleep in bed and it removes the distractions in the living space.  My DD1 would only nap in the car or in a dark bedroom after 3mo, otherwise the world was just way too interesting to sleep!

[LunaLady]

I was doing naps in the bed when he was younger and I was still catching up on my sleep - I would nap with him. I don't feel entirely comfortable leaving him in the bed alone to nap because we have two cats that like to nap on our bed and I am afraid they would lay on or too near him. They are very cuddly cats and I often have to push one of them away at night so they are not walking all over the baby. And I can't close the door because one of my cats has this thing with closed doors and will scratch the door down until someone opens it - it would certainly wake the baby.

He won't fall asleep in our arms rocking, anymore. He used to! I've tired rocking him in his room with the lights off and the blinds closed and his sleep sheep going and everything ... for like a half hour, and he just doesn't fall asleep that way anymore. :(

I guess for his next nap I'll just try the bed and stay in there and read or something. I am still at a loss as to the balance of life with a little one... I am having such a hard time doing anything but feeding, changing/pottying, and keeping content this little baby. Oh and diaper laundry once a day or every other day, too. If I can't eat lunch and go to the bathroom during his nap, I'm not sure when I'll get to do it? 

[TalkToMeNow]

Jasper is the same way. I think it's pretty normal. I think the difference here is that Abra and I may see it differently because we've done this before. You are getting used to not having baby-free time, and that is really hard. Can you try what Abra suggested and nurse him to sleep in bed then sneak out? I know that works with Jasper, but I have to lie there for a very long time. Mostly, I hold J for all his naps. I'm okay with that because I just think that it will be such a short time that I have this excuse to sit there and do nothing! I put him in his swing when I need to do dishes and eat. I hold him while I do laundry. I put him in the carrier to clean. I usually never am able to put down for naps.

I remember The No Cry Sleep Solution helped me when my girls were little. Maybe it will have some nap solutions?

[seraf]

Shay still falls asleep nursing but I've been working ongetting him to sleep in the sling more because I'm working a lot lately and he won't sleep as well forDP. He is doing better but he sleeps on the bed or couch (it's firm) for 10 minutes or  on my lap for better than an hour. I go for the longer nap whenever I can. 

[seraf]

Random idea, if you inverted a laundry basket or something over him would that keep the cats off?  Lol

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by seraf 

Random idea, if you inverted a laundry basket or something over him would that keep the cats off?  Lol

that is an awesome idea!  oh the things we have to do.......

[Jaimee]

Yes, this is super hard- transitioning from long stretches of newborn baby napping to a new pattern of less daytime sleep.  The good thing about this is that a schedule will start to form and you can start to plan your day around these naps.  Predictability is a wonderful thing and so is having hands free nap time!  Though the downside to this is that you can get "trapped by naps" in the house b/c often deviating from the schedule means messed up nighttime sleep.  Like Abra, I personally would not go for the crying in the swing thing b/c I believe that this tactic just teaches him that his attempts to communicate to you are not working.  Even though you are there, singing to him so he knows he's not alone, science tells us that his brain is being flooded by stress hormones.  This can cause all sorts of negative effects, including worse sleep!

Dd took 10 minute catnaps on me all day long until she was about 5 months old when I FINALLY got her to nap by herself.  With her, I side nursed her in bed and then rolled away from her when she fell asleep.  She took three naps until she was about 8 months old when she went down to two and by 11 months she was taking one. 

With ds1 he went from napping mostly in the carrier all day long to needing to be "put down" for a nap.  What this meant for him was nursing until he fell asleep in my arms and then laying him down in the bed.  He took three naps for a while and went down to two naps around 8 or 9 months.  Unlike dd, ds1 took two naps for a LONG time- not transitioning to one until he was over a year and a half. 

Avery is starting this transition now.  I've noticed over the last week he is no longer sleeping for long stretches in the carrier.  I have a feeling he will need to be "put down" for his naps soon.  What's going to be difficult about this for me is finding a way to entertain the other two while Avery is falling asleep.  In a carrier it doesn't need to be quiet, but in my arms he will be distracted by movements and loud noises. 

Christina, could you trap the cats somewhere else in the house?  Maybe make them a new place to sleep somewhere else?

[LunaLady]

Thank you all for the advice and suggestions! I'm glad to hear that his behavior is normal and that I'm not missing something or doing it all wrong!! I did feel very badly about letting him cry in the swing... it really is only about the third time I've let him cry to sleep. And the other two times were just out of desperation. This time I was just at a loss as to what he needed from me and confused and frustrated as to why he needs so much help from me to fall asleep.

I don't have one of those rectangular laundry baskets - but that's such a good idea! 

I can put the cats downstairs, but it's just a small bathroom where their cat box is. I think they would end up being stuck there all day :( 

I think I will try and nurse him to sleep in bed next time and just bring the kindle and my laptop in there with me and just be lazy while he naps. That way I can keep the cats off, he can continue to associate the bed with sleep, and I can get some baby free computer time in, too. I could probably pop out to heat up my lunch no problem, I'm sure. I'll just keep an eye on the cats.

When do babies start to have a more predictable time for naps? And predictable length? Rhyko has been sleeping now for four and a half hours... some days, though, the nap is only two hours long.

Should I wake him up after a certain time? I mean, my boobs are SO FULL right now!!! 

[LunaLady]

And Jaimee - how long were your babies naps? I'd really like it if Rhyko could get more than one huge nap in a day - if it could be more like two or three shorter naps. I'm a little afraid my milk supply might be affected by these super long naps during the day!

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by LunaLady 

And Jaimee - how long were your babies naps? I'd really like it if Rhyko could get more than one huge nap in a day - if it could be more like two or three shorter naps. I'm a little afraid my milk supply might be affected by these super long naps during the day!

Rhyko is taking a 4 hour nap?!  Wow!  My kids generally take about 1-2 hour long naps.  When they dropped a nap the other naps did NOT get longer, but bedtime got easier!
 

[mommy2sage]

My DS1 and DD were so much alike. Both would take (3) 1-2 hour naps and then wake 2 or 3 times per night.  They became pretty predictable with sleeping patterns around 3 months.  But, with Storm, he totally throws me off!  One night he will fall asleep at 8:30 and then the next night it will be 10:15.  Some mornings he will take a nap and other mornings he will be wide awake.  Also, he will not stay sleeping without me next to him. 

[CDsMom1031]

I didn't read all of the responses due to lack of time, but...

We let our kiddo cry. It never exceeds more than five minutes, but it's the only way he'll go to sleep. We can bounce, nurse, rock, sing, etc., etc., etc. and it just pisses him off more. The second we lay him down though, he puts his thumb in his mouth, rubs the back of his head with his other hand (Seriously, LOL.) and he passes out. We only learned this because we got SO frustrated with him OBVIOUSLY being tired and not sleeping that after so long of trying, we laid him down in his crib to give ourselves a minute to recooperate and in that minute, he knocked out, LOL.

He also will.not.sleep in his carseat. He screams THE WHOLE TIME he's in his carseat. He'll sleep other places than his crib, but he gets his best naps/sleep in his crib, so we try to plan our outings around when he would need to get some sleep. For instance, I am ALWAYS home by 7pm because that's his bedtime. ALWAYS. I'm not usually with him during his naptimes because of school or work, but DH never leaves the house because he's afraid he won't make it back in time for him to take a nap, LOL.

You just have to find what works for YOU. There was a time awhile back where the ONLY way he'd go to sleep is to be bounced, bumped, and walked... Then it changed to where he'd ONLY go to sleep if he was nursing. Now he'll ONLY go to sleep if he's alone.

[Mal85]

Oh the transition of sleeping times! It's always a good time. DD1 fell into a predictable nap schedule fairly early. The day I started doing daycare (when she was 10 weeks old), she fell into the same schedule as my other daycare babies. She took a 3 hour nap in the morning after being awake for about 90 min. Then, she'd stay awake about 2 hours and sleep another 3 hours in the afternoon. She had an awkward, short evening nap for a few months. That was more like 30-45 min and it would get her through until bedtime. Now, her naps she would lay down in her crib just fine after I put her to sleep, but nighttime sleep she required being held in arms until I went to bed.

Greta is falling into a similar pattern finally, but it's not predictable yet. She will typically take a long morning nap, about 2.5 hours after being awake for about 2 hours. Her afternoon usually gets a little messed up because we either get out of the house and she'll fall asleep in the car seat, waking when we get home. Or I get off work right in the middle of her afternoon nap and she'll wake up to come home. Then, she kind of cat naps throughout the evening until bedtime. I like having a routine, but not being stuck to the house, so we just make it work in the afternoons. I've also noticed if she sleeps too much in the afternoon, she doesn't settle into bed at night as well, so I guess that's the trade-off.

Oh, one more thing... both my babies sleep better when swaddled tight. I think a lot of people stop swaddling after the newborn stage has passed, but DD1 was swaddled until she was almost a year old (DH's aunt had to make us some huge blankets that worked for swaddling) and Greta still sleeps better on her own when swaddled. She will sleep for a little while un-swaddled and I'll let her sleep like that when I don't want her to sleep for too long (i.e. those short evening snoozes). I also have no problem "teaching" them the appropriate times for sleep. When I see a transition time coming, I will keep a sleepy baby awake to get a longer nap out of her. I'll also wake a sleeping baby up to keep her from ruining her next nap or bedtime. It's kind of a balancing act.

[jbk21]

Nicole- that's too funny (rubbing his head) lol!  Don't feel bad about him crying before sleep.  Some babies need to release that tension, seriously.  

I laughed out loud regarding being home by bedtime, too.  One day last year (my older DS was two) I was driving at night and realized I was really uncomfortable with how dark it was as I was driving.  I realized it was because for the entire previous 2 years I had never EVER driven at night.  I was always home with my son!  Too funny!  I rarely drive as it is (DH always drives when I am with him- which means the kids are with us too, and if DH isn't with us he usually has our one car) but driving at night makes me so nervous now because I never do it.
 

Originally Posted by TTCChloeOrConner 

I didn't read all of the responses due to lack of time, but...

We let our kiddo cry. It never exceeds more than five minutes, but it's the only way he'll go to sleep. We can bounce, nurse, rock, sing, etc., etc., etc. and it just pisses him off more. The second we lay him down though, he puts his thumb in his mouth, rubs the back of his head with his other hand (Seriously, LOL.) and he passes out. We only learned this because we got SO frustrated with him OBVIOUSLY being tired and not sleeping that after so long of trying, we laid him down in his crib to give ourselves a minute to recooperate and in that minute, he knocked out, LOL.

He also will.not.sleep in his carseat. He screams THE WHOLE TIME he's in his carseat. He'll sleep other places than his crib, but he gets his best naps/sleep in his crib, so we try to plan our outings around when he would need to get some sleep. For instance, I am ALWAYS home by 7pm because that's his bedtime. ALWAYS. I'm not usually with him during his naptimes because of school or work, but DH never leaves the house because he's afraid he won't make it back in time for him to take a nap, LOL.

You just have to find what works for YOU. There was a time awhile back where the ONLY way he'd go to sleep is to be bounced, bumped, and walked... Then it changed to where he'd ONLY go to sleep if he was nursing. Now he'll ONLY go to sleep if he's alone.

Mal this is great advice.  I think a lot of babies are like this- if they sleep too much it ruins later sleep, but if they don't sleep enough it also makes them wired, overtired, etc.  It's good to wake them if they are sleeping too long, but it's so hard to find that balance.  

Originally Posted by Mal85 

Oh the transition of sleeping times! It's always a good time. DD1 fell into a predictable nap schedule fairly early. The day I started doing daycare (when she was 10 weeks old), she fell into the same schedule as my other daycare babies. She took a 3 hour nap in the morning after being awake for about 90 min. Then, she'd stay awake about 2 hours and sleep another 3 hours in the afternoon. She had an awkward, short evening nap for a few months. That was more like 30-45 min and it would get her through until bedtime. Now, her naps she would lay down in her crib just fine after I put her to sleep, but nighttime sleep she required being held in arms until I went to bed.

Greta is falling into a similar pattern finally, but it's not predictable yet. She will typically take a long morning nap, about 2.5 hours after being awake for about 2 hours. Her afternoon usually gets a little messed up because we either get out of the house and she'll fall asleep in the car seat, waking when we get home. Or I get off work right in the middle of her afternoon nap and she'll wake up to come home. Then, she kind of cat naps throughout the evening until bedtime. I like having a routine, but not being stuck to the house, so we just make it work in the afternoons. I've also noticed if she sleeps too much in the afternoon, she doesn't settle into bed at night as well, so I guess that's the trade-off.

Oh, one more thing... both my babies sleep better when swaddled tight. I think a lot of people stop swaddling after the newborn stage has passed, but DD1 was swaddled until she was almost a year old (DH's aunt had to make us some huge blankets that worked for swaddling) and Greta still sleeps better on her own when swaddled. She will sleep for a little while un-swaddled and I'll let her sleep like that when I don't want her to sleep for too long (i.e. those short evening snoozes). I also have no problem "teaching" them the appropriate times for sleep. When I see a transition time coming, I will keep a sleepy baby awake to get a longer nap out of her. I'll also wake a sleeping baby up to keep her from ruining her next nap or bedtime. It's kind of a balancing act.

I wish Dylan would fall into a naptime pattern.  It's still pretty random. He naps around 4 times a day but they aren't super consistent in length.  Ugh!

[KayPea]

I would second getting the No-Cry Sleep Solution, it really helped me sort out DD's naps and nighttime sleep when she was about 5 months. It taught me a couple of valuable things regarding naps - the first was that DD was initially going too long between naps, and thus getting overtired, and an overtired baby is very difficult to get to sleep. I think DD's awake window at 5 - 6 months was about 1.5 - 2 hours only. I had trouble with her sleepy signs - she was such an alert, engaged baby that she didn't really glaze over, or go quiet or anything when she was tired, or even yawn. It was really subtle. Apparently, when they start rubbing their eyes, it's too late! 

With DD, at ab out 5 months she also pretty much needed to go into a sensory deprivation chamber to go to sleep - super dark room, white noise, and I could NOT be on a laptop or anything.  Plus I needed to be touching her to sleep.  I went stir crazy.  This is about when she started to have naps exclusively in the Ergo, because at least then i could be out walking, or on my laptop.  Ergo naps lasted until she was 14 months old.  

Also important was a pre-nap routine, but I couldn't really get into that until her naps were more predictable.  She was doing 3 unpredictable naps from 4 - 6 months, 2 regular naps from 6 - 12 months and one nap after 13 months.  The goal was to get her to sleep 1.5 - 2 hours each time, but she was a cat-napper so often it would be more like 40 minutes, which would lead to overtiredness and chaos.

[KayPea]

Oh, and Oren is still all over the map.  He used to go down great on his own, with a minimum of that tension-relieving crying, and sleep for over an hour.  Now he NEEDS to be sucking my pinky to fall asleep (his own thumb doesn't cut it) but in the sidecar.  He is starting to fight sleeping in the Ergo too. But the worst part is that no matter where he is, his naps are only lasting a half-hour, tops! And my normally mellow guy becomes a total crankypants.  He also has teeth that keep cutting and receding, so I'm hoping that's it.  He's napping on my lap right now - something I can't normally do, but DD is in care Monday mornings.  I was going to run errands, but I think I'll just let him sleep here!

[birdhappy85]

Sora isn't into a naptime pattern yet either. Not at all. It's starting to drive me a little batty because I don't want to schedule anything into my days that requires leaving the house since I don't know if she'll be awake or asleep or have eaten by that time, etc. Everyone just comes over to our house to visit instead, and I probably leave the house only once or twice in a two week period... yikes! Sora seemed to be more predictable with naptimes up until the last few weeks. Now she might have one super long nap (5 hours!) or she'll have 4-6 small catnaps (30-60 minutes) throughout the day, or she'll mix it up and have one long and a few short. Yesterday took the cake... She slept from 2:00pm to 8:00pm... I kid you not... She woke up AT HER BEDTIME. DH and I seriously needed some time to just relax so we didn't want to wake her. I fed her once in that time but she was still pretty much asleep. Luckily she fell back asleep for her actual bedtime sleep an hour or so later and still slept through the night with just one waking. Now today is a different story... The day from hell with her not sleeping well at all. *facepalm* She keeps waking up nonstop. Grrrr!

[LunaLady]

Okay so yesterday and today I have done as suggested and nursed Rhyko in the bed and then slipped out after he's asleep. I've got a bit of a cold, so I've taken a nap the first half with him, too, and then snuck out and let him keep sleeping. It's working great! Currently he's been in there sleeping for two hours! And, of course, there's a cat in there sleeping with him - but the cat is at the foot of the bed, so so far so good. 

Yesterday I ended up waking him up after he'd been asleep for four hours... I'm kind of concerned that if he's going to sleep decently at night AND take a four hour nap every day that my milk supply might suffer. Today I encouraged a nap after his second feed of the day (not quite two hours after waking) and he slept in my lap for and hour and half while I caught up on blogs and whatnot. Then I took him to the bed for his feeding about and hour and a half after he'd woken from that nap, not thinking he'd actually sleep because he usually is awake for longer stretches, but he went right to sleep after getting in a good feed. I feel like maybe I haven't been providing him with enough nap encouraging time during the day... maybe that's why he sleeps for one huge nap once he gets asleep? Maybe I should try to feed him in bed like at each feed that about two or three hours after he's woken from his last nap?

My goodness.. seems it shouldn't be so difficult, eh?? 

[jbk21]

Christina- yes I agree that you might want to try to encourage more- and more frequent- naps.   They may be shorter in duration, but I think it's best for babies to be awake for short spurts.  They are taking in so much info that they need to nap often in order to process all of it without becoming overstimulated.  If they are awake too long ("too long" is often just two hours!) they start to flood with cortisol (anti-sleep hormone) in order to stay awake.  D is usually awake 45-90 minutes at the most at any given time.  He takes frequent, short naps (45 minutes, sometimes an hour and a half).  Making up for it by taking a huge super long nap might seem like a good thing but sleeping at times when they are not biologically tired isn't necessarily helpful.  So if they cycle through wake/sleep cycles all day long, but miss a few sleeps and then sleep through a few wake/sleep cycles instead of actually waking/sleeping (know what I mean?) it's not as restful and beneficial as if they'd just sleep during those sleep cycles.  Does that make sense?  It's totally fine to do that every once in a while (like if you need to be out of the house and they miss a nap) but everyday is hard on them. It's like their body is constantly playing catch up to relieve that sleep debt.