Baby Shower Timing - Advice? « Back to Group Discussions

[CCoello]

So a couple of my friends have offered to throw me showers, but I have a timing issue. My mom, who lives on the opposite coast, is coming out about a week before my due date so she can be here for the birth (maybe) and for the first couple weeks with baby. She would really like to be here for the shower, too. Since I think we should have it on the weekend, that means July 27th-29th - and my due date is AUGUST 1st! I am nervous about scheduling it so close to the due date! Baby could be a couple of days old, I could be in labor, or - best case scenario - I will be at my biggest and most uncomfortablest. Plus I will have to deal with the hassle of entertaining and dealing with gifts at that stage too. Friends, mom, and DH all think my concerns are silly. They say so what if the baby is already born, everyone will understand on the off chance that I am actually in labor, and they will do all the work so I don't have to do a thing to get ready/clean up. I would really like to have my mom there... What do you think?

[LilyTiger]

I'm expecting my first, so this is really more from what I have seen from friend's showers...  First, even if friends help with clean up and stuff, there's still the washing of the new clothes and putting things away and getting them organized, which would be hard for someone else to do.  Second, it seems like you won't enjoy the shower much because as you point out, you'll be big and uncomfortable.  Third, there's a very good chance you'll miss the shower altogether because you'll be in labor, still in the hospital, or at home (ripped and in pain and not wanting to see people).

In the end, it's about weighing how much you want a shower you can enjoy and how much you want your mom there.  If the latter is the most important thing, go for it.  From the tone of your post though it sounds like you're having reservations about it. 

(By the way, showers don't have to be on weekends... if it gives you more time or flexibility you could do an evening shower the week before or whenever your mom gets into town).

[Sol_y_Paz]

My answer is easy because it involves your mom, who you said you really do want there.  My opinion is highly subjective since I would want to fully include my own mom.  Maybe you could make it for the second night when she gets into town (that way the first night she could help you prepare).  The weekend is really cutting it close to your due date and your concerns are all valid.

Edited by Sol_y_Paz - 2/11/12 at 12:30pm

[eleuthia]

Do you have other relatives in the area who'd be coming to the shower? Maybe you could have two - one for friends, earlier in pregnancy, and another one for family when your mom gets into town. If your baby is born before the shower can take place, then I'd say you should have it at the end of your mom's visit (so you don't have to deal with a bunch of people around immediately after birth). 

[ithappened]

Maybe you could make it for the second night when she gets into town (that way the first night she could help you prepare)

this. :)

[IntuitiveJamie]

Although I appreciate the sentiment; I personally would not have a shower that late. Usually after you have your shower(s), you then fill in the gaps with what you need. Granted, I don't think you really need that much stuff in general, as a planner and preparer I like to have what I may need and have the clothes washed and all the stuff organized.. When I came home from my shower, my dining room table was full of stuff. It took me a long time to sort through it all, cut tags off, wash and fold it. Organize the itty bitty things from nail clippers, to sippy cups and spoons, which you currently didn't have a space for (if it's your first). I would not want that hanging over me after the babe was born. Although reason stands that your Mom could help with all that. But IMO the best spent time after babe is born is snuggling, relaxing and enjoying being a family; not washing, folding and organizing.

Also, you just really don't know how you'll be feeling by that time. And quite honestly it could be quite crappy. With my 2nd I had been feeling awful for two months. I can't even imagine having a shower during that time. But that is worst case scenario. You could certainly be feeling great. I do know that typically nesting kicks in that last month (if not sooner), and it would drive me crazy not to already have all the baby shower stuff to be putting away during that nesting period and instead waiting to see what I get. What if you don't have a car seat, b/c you're expecting one? Or a sling?

These are just my personal thoughts and opinions. You'll figure out what will work for you. I'm sure women have showers that close to EDD all the time.

[~Demeter~]

I agree wholeheartedly with what Jamie has said.... that's been my experience as well. I have one other August baby and the last month I was so miserable I wanted to kill people, literally. lol I was hot, swollen, itchy, and D.O.N.E. with pregnancy.

[Knitting Mama]

I wouldn't have it so late, personally. It sucks for your mom to not be there, but maybe you can do something like a Skype video conference?

[Knittin Mama]

I'm planning on having a "Sip & See" instead of a shower.  They are becoming more popular and are held after the baby is born and are great for people like me who are not finding out what they are having until birth.  Idea is that people come Sip beverages, adult or otherwise, and See the mom and new baby.  We have pretty well acquired everything we need for the first few weeks, and anything else we get will just be a bonus.  I can't imagine not having my mom there.  I hope you are able to come to a decision that makes you happy.

[ithappened]

sip and see is a great idea..! I might try to do that as well since I cant easily have a babyshower in the US before my due date :(

[CCoello]

Great ideas, everyone! I think what I'll do is let my friends throw me a shower around the end of May or the end of June, then, when my mom is here, hold a "sip & see" after the birth, toward the end of her visit & she can host & hold court. That should make everybody, even me, very happy.

[NewMumJoy]

That sounds like the best way to do it!