or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Fertility › Family Planning › Wanting but Waiting *2012*
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Wanting but Waiting *2012* - Page 3

post #41 of 93

I think this is the thread I need! There are so many ladies on here that I can relate too! I am 34, 35 this July. I have had a total of 10 pregnancies! 6 live births, one of which was adopted when I was young and really felt like I couldn't financially afford a baby. I think I saw that Jello is birth mother too. I have also had 4 losses (I am not glad anyone has had a loss but I am also glad I am not alone on this board), one which was an ectopic and I lost 2/3 of my right fallopian tube with it, so I have been depending on my left ovary and fallopian only to do the job :) I have had a baby after each loss so I have 3 Rainbow babies. My most recent loss just happened. In fact I am only 2 days out from the D&C. It was a pretty horrible experience and I posted about it in the pregnancy loss forum. If you want the gory the details, the thread is called Don't let this happen to you!

 

Well now I have baby fever bad even though my youngest won't be a year old until April 12th. My husband has said he wants to TTC starting January 2013. I am thinking more like August 2012. I just started taking the pill because I want to make sure there are no accidents and that my body is completely ready (I was CTA when I conceived the twins that I just lost). My LO is self weening. She loves food! 

 

I plan to start back to yoga and the chiropractor soon and when I am healed I will pick back up my exercise. I need to work on healthier eating too. I'm so glad to have a place to talk about getting the body ready for TTC and to vent about wanting a baby NOW! smile.gif

post #42 of 93

Hi ladies--I think it's the glorious spring weather that has me desperately wanting to try for baby #2 (my son is 22 months old)! But my DH and I have agreed to wait until the fall, mostly for financial reasons. My little guy is also still nursing round the clock and in a super demanding stage, so I think it's better that we wait--but my hormones disagree ;) Since DS was born in May, I now associate this time of year with being massively, beautifully, overwhelmingly pregnant--which I loved! Hopefully I'll be even more ready come fall....

 

Elizabeth67--your post really resonated with me. I can't offer much in the way of advice, but I can definitely relate to how you feel. I had my son relatively young (I was 24) but I felt like I'd already waited an eternity to get pregnant. I've always been very "motherly" and knew that I wanted kids. I never thought I'd have one so early though, because like you mentioned, most of the women in my family didn't have kids until they were in their mid-late 30s with well established careers, etc. And none of my friends are even close to having kids. But I knew in my heart that it was the right time for me to become a mom, and I'm incredibly happy with my new role. That being said, it's also really challenging at times! I know motherhood can be hard no matter how old you are, but there are certain hardships that often come with being younger--like not having much money (usually) and not having the freedom that your peers have. There are definitely times when I feel pangs of jealousy when my friends go out for a night on the town and I'm home with my family, but the truth is, whenever I was out with them before, I was secretly wishing I had a baby to be at home with! It helps that my DH and I spent almost 5 years backpacking around South America, so I don't feel like I missed out on adventure or exploration. Sorry for such a long response--just wanted you to let you know I totally understand feeling ready for a baby Elizabeth 67!

post #43 of 93
Thread Starter 

Hey ladies! I'm sorry I have been neglecting this thread, I haven't intended to! I've tried to make a detailed response on 3 separate occasions, all with multi-quote and whatnot, and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. my computer has shut down before I had a chance to hit the submit button. It was really frustrating! So I gave up on posting here for a while, haha.

 

 

Someone earlier asked about what mamas are doing in order to prepare for adding another baby to the family, and that has really been my focus lately. I'd say I have three areas that I'm trying to focus on:

 

1) Physical-- I got into running when DD was a year old, in order to lose the baby weight that was still hanging around. It worked, and I'm currently 2 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. I caught the racong bug and have been training for and running races since October 2011. I have some running-related goals that I'd like to achieve this year before getting pregnant with #2. One is to run a 10k in less than 50 minutes, and the other is to run a half marathon in less than 1:50. I've been really focused on these goals lately, because I know that once I get pregnant my racing goals will have to take a backseat for at least a year or two, and then I'm not sure how I will manage to get out and run with TWO babies at home. Luckily the running has influenced my eating habits as well, so I'm drinking less alcohol and maintaining an overall healthful diet, which is good for TTC as well. I need to be more consistent with vitamins, though, and some time this summer will probably switch over to prenatals.

 

2) Home-- We just moved into this apartment 5 months ago and still have some settling in to do, as well as baby/toddler-proofing. I'd like to get everything settled and more or less how we want it for the long haul, before baby gets here. That includes FINALLY unpacking the last of the boxes (which are just haphazardly stuffed in the closets) and then organizing those closets well. I also want to get an accent wall in our living room painted and mount our flatscreen to it (DH has a friend who will do that for free! Hooray) We have a few prints that need to be framed and hung, and then I think we'll feel much more comfortable here.

 

3) Finances-- When DD was born we had about $25k in high interest credit card debt and maybe $400 in savings. We have since whittled that debt down to just under $3k, and all of it is at 0% interest. Our savings is currently $3,500. My goals is to continue paying down the credit cards every month and get them paid off before the interest rates go back up, which will be April of next year. I'd also like to have AT LEAST $10k saved up by the time that baby is born. I'm hoping to have $6-7k saved before we even start TTC.

 

I've also been making a list of things that we'll want/need for the new baby. So far that list includes:

 

*Baby Hawk or Ergo carrier

*ring sling or hotsling for early public nursing

*double jogging stroller (no idea where we'll fit this in our little apartment, but I really think it'll help me get back to running sooner)

*Baby clothes (hoping for BOY clothes this time)

*infant car seat (though maybe not, we don't even have a car! and I might be able to give birth at a birthing center two blocks from our apartment)

*Bouncy seat/swing/playmat--not sure how necessary any of that type of stuff will be. We had all of it with DD and used most of it at least once, but we might try to forego the majority of the STUFF this time. We just don't have a lot of space, and I feel like a lot of that stuff is unnecessary when you just wear the baby more often. So we'll see.

post #44 of 93

Could you add me to the 2012 or 13 and beyond list?

 

I graduate from college this time next year (spring '13) and we might try to time things to where we give birth a month or two after I graduate (LOL)

We use cycle beads right now, and I'd looove and "oops" but I'm trying so hard to be patient.

post #45 of 93

Hi, new girl here.  Could you add me to the 2013 and beyond list?  I'm so glad I found this thread.  I've wanted kids for such a long time, but I'm planning to wait until I'm at least done with undergrad studies (which will probably be around 2014) and maybe until I'm into the first year or so of grad school.

post #46 of 93

I can be added to the 2013 and beyond.  I hope to pregnant next April/May.  I want my son to be 3 years old before the next one so he is a little more independent... BUT I cannot stop thinking about how I will do things differently for the birth and breastfeeding etc...   I had a bought of PPD right off the bat with the first and hoping to have more support in place next time!  :)
 

post #47 of 93
Hi everyone, I think you can add me to the wanting but waiting a little longer list.
We want children but...I cannot think of a good time to have them! I'm a bundle of worries to be honest.
Here is our scenario:
Hubby and I have been together for 5 years. We are both studying and gruaduate in 2014 with low interest student loans of around 100k. (thanks god thats it)
After we graduate we need to complete our certification which will take 3 years (I'll be 25) and then we plan on moving overseas as fast as we can although in the current job climate I'm not betting it will be fast. Maybe 2 years or more. Putting me at 27 At best.
My main fears are
-there will never be a good time to have a kid and I'll keep putting it off until its too late.
-Or that we won't be able to provide the best for our child financially. I know money isn't everything but it does rate an importance in providing a stable family home.
-We won't be able to maintain a good work-home balance and I will be able home with the kid while hubby works 50 hours a week to provide.
post #48 of 93

Hi 

 

Me and my hubby are wanting a baby but due to me being from the UK trying to move to Canada it is on hold for now as we feel that it would be unfair for us and for the baby. Us because of the complications of immigration plus it costing a over $10k to give birth in hospital, but the main reason is because if I am asked to return to the UK until my residency is granted and I was pregnant/had a baby we would be separated as a family and I am completely against this.

 

So we will be trying in 2014, I would love a baby as soon as possible but feel it's not the best scenario right now. I am taking this a positive though as I feel that it will give us some time to get stable/where we feel we need to be and also so I can research more about what to do and what I need so I feel prepared.

post #49 of 93
Well, as of today I belong on the waiting list for this Summer or early fall. We haven't worked out exactly when yet. Dh just popped up with "let's have another baby" today. We have discussed it for a while now. We had even planned to try last fall, but we both decided we weren't ready. For a while we both thought we were done. We have 2 beautiful boys, 6 & 2. Recently I've been swinging back towards wanting another, but I was still a little on the fence when dh said he thinks we're ready.
I'm mostly happy, but scared about the prospect, too. I've had 3 c-sections, 2 failed VBACs. So we've decided that any future children will be planned C's. This goes against everything I believe about birth, and I'm unimaginably sad that I will never "give birth". It is what it is, though. Also, the older I get (I'll be 34), and more babies I have, the harder it is on my body. My last pregnancy was rough, so I'm scared about going thru that again. Then I'm also worried about being able to have the energy for 3 kids, and homeschooling. And its another 2+ years of breastfedding, night nursing, no personal time, and only stolen moments with dh. I know I sound whiny and negative, and I'm sorry, but I guess I just needed to vent all that, and this is about the only outlet where I can do that and no one will say "so, don't have another!"

Because we all know that while all that negative stuff is our (mostly secret) fear, the other stuff is why we want another baby. Moments when we see our older children being tender, when our husbands (or partner) have love in their eyes, when that baby looks at you and smiles, when he takes his first steps into your arms, and when you suddenly realize that for all the fears, you can't imagine life without him.

So, I belong on the Summer 2012 list, and hopefully I'll get to know some of you ladies in here, and then on the DDC boards. :-)
post #50 of 93
Thread Starter 

Yaliina, I definitely hear you on the venting stuff. We're definitely still planning to go for it in September, but as that gets closer and closer I'm beginning to have mini freakout moments where I convince myself that having another will be a horrible mistake and we'll end up hating life and each other, haha. Ela is a bit older now and a bit more independent (though she is still nursing) and I feel like we have a fairly decent amount of free time. I still can't manage to read more than a chapter of a book in one sitting, but still. Whenever Ela is playing quietly by herself or napping I remind myself that these moments of peace and quiet and "Me time" will be out the window once we have another baby in the house.

 

Also, we're in a one-bedroom and we have plans to stay here for at least the next 3-5 years. We feel like it's absolutely plenty of space for us now, but I wonder if adding another baby to the mix is going to make the walls start closing in? We certainly don't plan to put off the babymaking for 3-5 years, so I suppose it is a moot point really. But it worries me a little. Where are we going to put all the baby's stuff? Do we really even need much baby stuff? I'm hoping that by the time baby arrives Ela will be transitioning out of her highchair and into a booster on a regular chair, so we won't need another high chair (definitely DON'T have room for another one of those!) and with the crib side-carred to our Queen sized bed and DH working most overnight shifts I think we'll have plenty of room in the bed. But we're going to have to do some shifting around to find drawer room for baby clothes.

 

Still, I am excited to see how Ela interacts with a new sibling. I think she is going to be a great big sister. And every time I see a baby at work, I definitely get all soft and mushy feeling, so I definitely still have baby fever despite my worries. But the first 6-12 months are going to be tough, I'm afraid.

post #51 of 93

Hey Kitteh, May you move me from waiting a little longer into.....

 

pregnant!3rdtri.gif

post #52 of 93
Thread Starter 

CONGRATS!!!

post #53 of 93
I was wondering how to become active in the forums, as I am not yet a mama and am only ABOUT to be engaged, not yet married either! Having found this thread, now I see how I fit into the picture at this point in our journey.

Before I met my love, I was sure I didn't want babies. Now I see how finding a true partner has helped me to embrace my womanhood to the fullest, and with this my natural desire to mother.

We are wanting but waiting until Fall 2012.
post #54 of 93

Hi Risa! Welcome! I can relate SO much. My husband is TOTALLY, 100% responsible for triggering my mama-instinct.

 

I used to be very me-driven (I guess I sort of still am . . . ) and career-driven, but as I've fallen more deeply in love with my husband, I have been totally baby-crazy. I can't wait to start TTC. But I must. I'm trying to remember that I want to start my career soon, that I"m just starting out and I want my own business. I'm trying to remember that ambition. I'm trying to remember that I want to be totally prepared. I"m trying to remember that I really, really like things my own way- exactly how I want them- and that I have a hard time coping with change, and that at times I struggle with depression. But every time I look at or think about my husband, all I can see is baby.

 

For the past 14-18 months, I am constantly trying to redirect my mind. I"m only 22, I say. I'm not ready. I can't be ready. I don't want to be a bad mother like my mother. But I can't help it. It seems like all the financial worries in the world couldn't stop this primal urge.

 

I don't take medicine, but if there were a pill to make this go away . . . I just might take it. But only once. Just for a moment of clarity, to re-center myself.

 

I'm totally nuts, always talking about a baby that doesn't even exist. It doesn't help that I watch other people around me having babies all the time!

post #55 of 93

So glad I found this thread!  We are waiting probably until January 2013 (greensad.gif) but I would love for DH to just say yes to NOW!

 

Yaliina, I will be having a CS too after 2 labors ending in CS>  Like, you it's hard because it goes against all my birth beliefs but it's what is right for us now. 

 

I also sometimes (like when both kids are tantruming) think, "What are we getting ourselves into again?"  They are just so precious and such a blessing.

 

I have been wanting another since DD2 turned 1.  We originally thought we would adopt and even set up a savings plan for it but then we just never felt peace over it.  SO here we are.  We are waiting to save a little more money and get some big projects finished up around the house.  I know finishing things around the house sounds silly but it's just much easier when I can help with things more.  We need to work out our car situation to get vehicles that work for for a family of 5 but I think it will be fine.  I generally feel like it will just work out and God will provide but I am also trying to be respectful of DH's desire to be responsible and careful.  I have to remind myself that his feelings and ideas matter just as much as my desire to DO THIS NOW!  haha.    We are also going on a trip in August and I do think it would be nice to not have morning sickness for that.   It would also be ideal of I got pregnant in July or January because that would make the baby due at a time of year that DH could take a lot of time off.  It feels so odd to even try to plan a baby like that but I need his help during recovery but my mom can come if the timing is different.

 

I actually thought we were done after DD2 and got rid of almost all of my maternity clothes.  So I have been picking things up on clearance when I find them.  It does NOT help keep my mind off of it!  Also, one of my best friends is newly pregnant!

post #56 of 93

Hey.  Can I be added to the "A Little Longer" list?  I'm hoping it a VERY little while longer. lol

 

My name is Kris.  I've recently graduated with my A.S. i in Music and I'm now gearing up for the December audition season to get into a program for my B.S. in Music Education.  I've been with J for a little over a year and a half now.  I can't get enough of this guy!!  He's absolutely wonderful and plans to marry me when we're done with school.  He's graduating this May coming and I should, hopefully, only be about a year and a half behind him (although, I wouldn't mind getting married while still in school eyesroll.gif) We'd like to get a place together, get him a car, get me a less terrifying one (I call it "Puck" because it slides around like a hockey puck even on dry roads...you should see it in the snow!)  and be married before we get going with any sort of TTC.  But we've got a general plan going right now so yay!

 

Nice to meet you all!! blowkiss.gif

post #57 of 93

I belong here with you guys :)  I have 3 children DS#1 is 7  DS#2 is 4 and my DD is 19mo.  We would love to add one more to our family but I am still waiting for my post partum cycle to retun eventhough I am only nursing my daughter 4 or so times a day.  We also have a trip to jamaica planned for next may and I really don't want to be to close to the end of a pregnancy or have a newborn to take along so we aren't lanning on actively ttc until at least Dec.  

post #58 of 93

Welcome Jen and Kris!

 

As far as the previous question about what we are doing to get our bodies ready:  I am taking prenatals (garden of life) and cod liver oil to hopefully get my nutrient stores up.  I was so depleted this last fall that I had to wean DD at just 15 months ( I know 15 mos. is great though).  I was so sad but I couldn't seem to find anything that helped me that she wouldn't react to because of her sensitivities.  I am also am trying to make sure I get lots of probiotics foods.  I just got some  milk thistle to help with liver function and hopefully morning sickness when the time comes.

 

 

DH and I talked again last week.  I let him know I didn't want to pressure him if he wanted to wait but I needed to be honest.  We are now looking as possibly fall but we will see.  If we wait until the fall we can add me to his insurance at the end of the pregnancy if there seem to be any issues so I will have double coverage.  But woohooo!  Fall is sooner than January!

post #59 of 93

I'm just trying to make good choices about food and recreational activities.  Popping a regular multi and cranberry (I am forever getting UTIs) and eating healthy.  Going to get back into shape as best I can via walking and things like that once I have all my stuff sorted from moving house recently. :)

post #60 of 93

Oh yeah, exercise!  I've been trying.  I did really well for about a month and then I got a stomach bug and really fell off the wagon. I really need to get back on track.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Family Planning
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Fertility › Family Planning › Wanting but Waiting *2012*