I have three kids (and one on the way) and having my homeschool review tomorrow has made some really bad feelings come to the surface for me. We've always been unschoolers as far as homeschooling philosophy. he last few years I have had several things come up which have made me question my homeschooling approach and how to make it best for my kids...
Mostly I feel that for several reasons my choices for school are limited to unschooling. I didn't "pick" unschooling b/c I believe it best for my kids, I picked it b/c I think it's the best of very few options I have. I can't seem to find peace with those feelings at all. I honestly think my son would do better with at least some formal education but I can't afford ANY curriculum right now. Until a few weeks ago I was working almost fulltime, and barely making ends meet, and I have literally ZERO expendable income. I'm so overwhelmed by choices online and I really have no idea where to begin. It's all like a daunting maze to me for some reason. I am not at all a natural teacher. I didn't learn in a formal setting (our household was CRAZY dysfunctional when I was a kid so I was forced to leave school so I could take care of my home and get a job.) My van is nearly dead so most field trips that homeschoolers go on aren't an option right now. I would honestly send him to school if I could in a second, but because of our unschooling/relaxed schooling lifestyle he isn't at all ready for a public school setting. I wish I could send him to a Waldorf type school, but that's so far out of our range that it might as well be another planet.
I want to feel good about our homeschooling situation but instead I feel like a great-big pity party and I can't seem to get a handle on it at all. I feel like I have NO idea what I'm doing, and I am burnt out and feeling like a failure to my kids, and powerless to do anything else about it. Now I have another (very unplanned, but very welcome) baby on the way which means even less time to devote to the older ones in the next school year. My anxiety level in through the roof!
Today someone invited me to a curriculum sharing get together for homeschoolers. I cried. I seriously did! I am so insecure about everything to do with homeschooling that I can't bare to sit in a room full of well-to-do moms who just adore homeschooling their kids. I am so ashamed to admit I feel this way.
Help me come up with ways to think positively about being "forced" to unschool instead of doing things how I want! A pitiful sorry-for-herself mama isn't going to help matters with my kiddos are all. I need some inspiration and something to help me make lemonade from these lemons I have!
Thanks in advance!