If you have had/are having a homebirth, I have a question for you! « Back to Group Discussions

[jodieanneanton]

How many midwives attended you/will attend you at your birth?  Is it common for there to be more than one? 

I am just curious as I have myself in a bit of a dilemma.... 

[pure]

At my first birth I had my regular midwife, her assistant who was a student midwife and my friend who was a l&d nurse and aspiring midwife.
My second birth it was my midwife, a second full midwife came at the very end for backup and the same friend who was now a student midwife.
This birth it will probably be my midwife, her current student and same friend who is now a full registered midwife.

[Carson]

For DS birth, the nurse showed up first (take vitals, check labor progress, etc...) and then the MW came a few hrs later.  So one midwife, one nurse.

For this second birth, it sounds like I am getting a more experienced MW + her recently trained MW + a birth nurse.  It's really one more person than I want, but compared to another practice where it sounds like I'd have a MINIMUM of 4 people there, the better of the two options.

[planteater]

In Ontario, where I live, there are always two midwives: one who arrives during early active labour to attend to the mother, and one who arrives when delivery is imminent to attend to the baby. There is also usually a student present.

[goin' green]

I will have my midwife, her assistant (RN) and then my doula that I hire separately, but also comes with an emergency bag and can catch if need be.

[jodieanneanton]

ok... well this is my semi-dilemma.

When I told my midwife (who I became friends with after dd2's birth) that I was prego again, I asked her if she could attend my homebirth since she no longer worked at the birth center.  She was all sorts of unsure but said she'd think about it.  But also said that no matter what, she'd be there for me on that day of labor and delivery.  She said she thought i'd be a great candidate for hb but has not done one and needs to really think about it and research what's all involved.  Well, she really just seemed to be unable to say no to a good friend, so I contacted a hb midwife in my area just to learn more about hb and ended up really liking her (as did dh who is not as comfortable with the mw friend from dd2's birth).  So, I have a prenatal appt with new hb midwife for March 10th and I was going to tell friend mw not to worry about it since she seemed uncomfortable and that she can be there as a supportive friend.  Well, two days ago, we are in a text conversation and she mentions that she is taking a class on hb so she can do hb's for select special people...   Enter massive guilt.  I like new hb midwife and hubby really likes her and she is the reason that he is comfortable with a hb in general.  Now I am needing to tell friend mw that I have a HB mw but still want her there... whether it is in a friend, doula, mw, or woman capacity, I want her there.  I am needing a good way to tell her and not totally make her hate me.  :(  

Any suggestions?

[Ava's Mama]

I will have my midwife and she will bring a second midwife.  I think it is pretty common to have two so that one can take care of Mama and one can take care of baby after birth.

[hyde]

I'll have mine and her now-apprentice, who takes exams in August so should be 'official' by the time I deliver, if timing holds. I know that it's typical in my area for MWs to bring another MW or apprentice for backup.

I have a feeling that if you ask your friend to be that backup, it'll be more of a relief than an insult. I'm sure she was honored to be asked, but it's also a ton of pressure in a way since she does care about you so much. She can still do the class--it's not like it's going to be a waste of time in the long run, and she'll probably feel more prepared at the birth--and you can still be covered by your new provider. I guess I'd say run it by the newly-hired mw first to see if she'd be comfortable with the arrangement- she might want to meet your friend, or she might have someone that she always uses, in which case you could ask your friend to be more of a doula, and she'd still be getting hb experience. Either way-- your friend won't hate you! Promise. :) Let us know how it goes.

[judybean]

With dd4, there was my midwife, her student assistant (who is now a midwife with her own practice.. and had been at all prenatals), and another potential student (who ended up taking pictures of dd4s birth! SO THANKFUL she was there!!).

I would think asking your friend to be backup/support would be an honor for her.. and probably easier to maintain the friendship since it's MORE personal and less business!

[amydiane]

I will have my MW and her assistant, who is also a student MW.  I think that's fairly standard around here.  One MW has a couple assistants but I'm not sure if more than one typically attends at a time, or they rotate.  I will also have a doula, but she'll be hired separately.

[rubyrose]

With my 1st, there were two midwives and one assistant.

For this new babe, we will have two midwives.

I think the idea is that it's safer to have a midwife assigned to mom and one assigned to the baby.

[Carson]

Jodi - wonder if it might be better as a conversation, but what if you said that you found a great experienced HB midwife and signed on with her, but really want your friend to be there to experience the joy of DC's birth?  That puts your friend back in a more supportive/friend role, taking some pressure off of her, and allows you to develop that relationship with the new MW. 

[planteater]

It was with the best of intentions that you found the new midwife: you didn't want to put your friend in an uncomfortable spot. I think if you tell her that you signed on with a HB midwife before you found out that she was taking the course because you wanted to make sure she didn't feel pressured, your friend will understand that your intention was always pure. Besides, if she learns to do HB herself, that will benefit her and other mothers for many years to come, and maybe attending your birth as a support person will be perfect experience as she develops her new skill set!

[pure]

Even though my friend who attended my last two births was a student and could have been the back up I specifically asked my midwife to call another midwife so my friend could be there without the pressure. I will do the same this time. I don't want her to feel like she is " working".

[MamanFrancaise]

I had a homebirth. There was barely enough time for the main midwife to attend - she didn't get a chance to call the back-up midwife.

Here it is common for your midwife + assistant midwife to attend.

 

[ilovejeff]

First hb there were two midwives, the second was called when I started pushing (I think)

This time, same thing, but the midwives both live an hour plus from me (we moved). DH will be a quarter away from his RN and wants to do some of the newborn stuff, so I guess I'll kind of have a nurse as well.