sleeping arrangements? « Back to Group Discussions

[rozziemama]

Where are you planning to put your newborn to sleep?

I thought about adding this one to the baby shopping list thread, but was having trouble finding it. I'm not trying to create any controversy on our lovely DDC board about co-sleeping/not co-sleeping, but I am wondering what you're planning to do for sleeping with the new babe, really just in the newborn phase. 

We have space issues in our bedroom, and the arm's reach co-sleeper doesn't fit next to our bed ?!  (there is a dresser next to our bed, the door right next to the dresser, windows placed oddly on the other side, etc etc)

I really want to be able to lie down and nurse in the night, not have to sit up/lie down repeatedly through the night.

but i'm afraid to keep the little one in our bed because my DH is kind of a wild sleeper and i don't want babe to be crushed/lost!?

I could put the co-sleeper at the foot of the bed, but that will obviously mean getting up and down to nurse in the night...

Thanks!

[casmer]

We were going to get an arm's reach co-sleeper, but we would need to get a box spring mattress.  Instead a friend is giving us their bassinet, so we'll be using that.  I'm not sure how long it will be before baby outgrows the bassinet, so I'm not sure what my plans are after that.  Bed sharing won't be an option for a long time for us, as DH is incredibly difficult to wake up.  He's even rolled over on me before!  Thank God he's not a big guy, haha.

[persephassa]

i am not sure! i feel like our bed is too small to have the baby in it (queen), plus my husband is afraid he'll roll over and crush the baby... there is a moses basket i really want, it's so pretty, but i'm not sure how practical that is... or maybe an arms reach, or the fisher price rock n play, a couple of my friends use this for next to the bed and it seems like a good option, small & inexpensive & mobile. or a bassinet. or a cradle. too many options, eh?

[SaguaroMoon]

We plan on having the baby sleep next to the wall, so the order of sleeping is wall, baby, me, DH (as DH is afraid of rolling over on the baby, too). This is the arrangement that Dr. Sears and other medical professionals recommend for co-sleeping with an infant. Even though our bed, which is just a mattress on the floor, is flush against the wall, and does not move from there, I'm still going to put something (probably a rolled-up yoga mat) next to the wall to prevent any chance of baby getting wedged. I know they also sell foam guard rails, which to my understanding is basically an insert that you put under a fitted sheet.

In addition to this, we are getting a Brica Fold N' Go Travel Bassinet for when we go to NY in August, and it is possible that we may end up using this as a co-sleeper at home as well, if it seems to work out better than having the baby right in the bed with us. It's 18.5" wide, so although it will definitely mean a tighter fit in our bed (I really would like to purchase a king-sized mattress, but not sure if we can afford it right now - we currently have a queen), it could be possible to keep it right next to me in bed. If that seemed too squeezy, putting the bassinet on a blanket or mat on the floor, with me right next to it on the mattress, should still allow me to just reach over and pick up the baby without having to fully get up.

[janellody]

casmer - we don't use a box spring either but are getting this arm's reach cosleeper, it is shorter: http://www.amazon.com/Arms-Reach-Co-Sleeper-Mini-Natural/dp/B0007CQ6OK/ref=br_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=II9WE31G3V4N9&colid=14K4LZLWR5C64

I have a friend who works in the ER who told me from the beginning she hoped I didn't sleep with the baby as there are many cases of bad things happening from well-meaning parents who want to co-sleep, so I am not going to do that. Although there are many people out there that it works for (my sister coslept with both my nieces and it was fine), I just wouldn't want to take the risk personally as it is such an easy thing to avoid.

If you can't fit the arm's reach co-sleeper in your room, what about just using a bassinet?  It's still next to your bed , but quite as convenient but still pretty nice.  That was what we were going to use until we found the arm's reach one and decided to get that.

We also looked at the play yards that had a bassinet on top, although those might not fit in your space, either.  But those are cool as they will work as a bassinet and changing table and then when you are past that stage you can use them as a play yard. 

[casmer]

Janel - in order to anchor the co-sleeper we would have to get a box spring.  It's the way our bed frame is made...there's a metal lip that would prevent us from being able to anchor it otherwise. 

[rozziemama]

I guess the other issue is that our bed is really high off the ground. So I like that the arm's reach co-sleeper comes up as high as our bed.

I would do wall/baby/me/DH definitely....DH is way too dangerous a sleeper.  I think this is something I'm irrationally focused on today... I feel sort of obsessed with making a decision.
Probably what is going to happen is that I get a bassinet for the baby, and the baby will end up in our bed anyway.

Originally Posted by janellody 

If you can't fit the arm's reach co-sleeper in your room, what about just using a bassinet?  It's still next to your bed , but quite as convenient but still pretty nice.  That was what we were going to use until we found the arm's reach one and decided to get that.

We also looked at the play yards that had a bassinet on top, although those might not fit in your space, either.  But those are cool as they will work as a bassinet and changing table and then when you are past that stage you can use them as a play yard. 

[forestmushroom]

For the first 2 weeks I kick DH out of the bed. I need the whole bed to figure it out and make sure baby has a lot of space with no pillows, etc. around.

Plus, with waking so often, DH would be disturbed a lot!  So I will kick him out for the first couple of weeks until we can figure it all out...

Our bedroom is tiny, tiny too! 

[BubbleMa]

The baby will be in our room, but not our bed.  We'll probably end up getting a mini crib.  We could probably squeeze a full sized crib in here, but it would be tight.

[shastalily]

We are going to use the bassinet that sits in the pack in play next to my side of the bed for the first few months.  Then baby will transition into the crib in the bedroom next to ours.

[poppyseed2012]

This is a hot topic of conversation at our home right now. We have a bassinet that I would like to keep at the foot of our bed for the first few weeks, and then we can move him into the bedroom after I'm a little more comfortable having an extra tiny person in the house with us.

My mister says no way, that he won't be in our room at all. I'm thinking he'll change his mind after a bit, so besides passive comments that I constantly make, I'm not making a big deal about it. Also he spoke with his brother about it, who had twins four months ago, and his brother gets up every night to do the night feedings and has from the start. So that's something else that will be interesting to talk about...

[janellody]

Originally Posted by casmer 

Janel - in order to anchor the co-sleeper we would have to get a box spring.  It's the way our bed frame is made...there's a metal lip that would prevent us from being able to anchor it otherwise. 

ah, ok.  We don't use a frame and just have our box spring and mattress on the floor, so it's shorter than most beds and this co-sleeper was shorter so I thought it may help solve your issue but I guess not. :)  It took me FOREVER to find out they had a shorter one, so I was wondering if others had as much trouble as me finding it!

[cristeen]

We're still in conversations about this.

We have a pack and play with the bassinet insert.  We have a moses basket cradle.  Both of which will probably be used during the daytime.  For night-time we're still trying to figure it out. 

We got rid of the queen mattress DS and I shared because of moisture issues, so right now we're looking at having to buy another mattress regardless.  DS has a crib mattress and DH and I share a Queen, which is definitely not big enough for baby to share with us.  We've discussed an Arm's Reach, we've discussed side-carring a crib (either of which we would have to buy), we've discussed just buying a King and moving the Queen to the floor of DS' room.  I've looked at the Kanoe (baby hammock), and I'm very tempted, but considering how fast DS grew not sure it's worth the expense.  I do know though that if anybody else is interested they offer a 50% "wholesale" discount if you buy 4 or more (or was it 5?). 

It's still very up in the air.  My grandmother this weekend though said she had a brand new "damaged" innerspring twin mattress that was donated by a store (she works in a food bank).  It's been sitting there for months, so she's going to bring it home and we're gonna see what kind of shape it's in.  That'll give us something to put DS in, and then maybe we just get a crib frame to put the crib mattress in and side-car it.  I just don't know.  I insisted on co-sleeping with DS, and while I hated it, it was really necessary for us because of the nursing issues we had.  But even now at 2 1/2 I'm still working on getting him to sleep in his own space.  But come to find out, DH blames me for the sleep "issues" that DS has, even though reading the night-time boards, his sleep isn't anything out of the ordinary (for an ASD kid anyway).  That just makes contemplating co-sleeping again so much more difficult, even though I know it's what I need to do just so I get as much sleep as necessary, and babe still has access to the milk machines.  With DS I had to (literally) get up every time he nursed until he was 9 mos old, and he was nursing 2-3x/night.  Once we switched to bottles I just had to wake up enough to grab the bottle and pop it in his mouth.  I would really like to avoid all of that this time, which is in part going to mean co-sleeping and night-nursing laying down.  BLAH! 

Long way to say, I dunno. 

[rozziemama]

[Masel]

For my first two we borrowed a co-sleeper for the first few months. DD1 was very intent sleeper and never liked to do much cuddling so she ended up in a crib in her own room at about 9 months. DD2 went from the co-sleeper to a sidecarred crib to having the crib in a corner of my room until she was about 2. I'm not sure I want to borrow that particular co-sleeper again because I think there's something wrong with it. I'm not entirely sure what we'll do. 

I could side car the crib again. However, we have a new mattress with a memory foam top. It's probably why I'm having fewer hip issues this time but I think it will be too squishy for an infant. 

To make it even more complicated we plan to move this summer. Who knows what configuration our new room will bring. I could suggest not setting up our bed at the new place and just put the mattress on the floor. DH has some back issues and I doubt he'll go for that. He likes the height of the new mattress. 

[Kamiro]

I bought a Moses basket with this one but not to sure when we will use it exactly. I plan on co-sleeping with this babe, just as I have the others. We have a queen bed. The older kids are in their own beds (that happened a couple weeks ago. lol) so now it is DH and I. Soon it will be DH and I and baby :D I may buy a pack n play for next to the bed for later on when babe gets squirmy. I did that with my youngest.

 

[JynxGirl]

Originally Posted by cristeen 

 That'll give us something to put DS in, and then maybe we just get a crib frame to put the crib mattress in and side-car it.  I just don't know.  I insisted on co-sleeping with DS, and while I hated it, it was really necessary for us because of the nursing issues we had.  But even now at 2 1/2 I'm still working on getting him to sleep in his own space.  But come to find out, DH blames me for the sleep "issues" that DS has, even though reading the night-time boards, his sleep isn't anything out of the ordinary (for an ASD kid anyway).  

My daughter was a terrible sleeper. From the minute she was off the respirator, the nurses in the NICU were constantly sying how horrible a sleeper she was. When we co-slept, it meant I was at least getting a few hours of sleep a night. I think it's really common for ASD kids to just NOT sleep. Trust me when I say that I fully understand, Alena will be 9 in July and we are JUST getting her to fall asleep in her own bed.

[smilingsara]

We are fully planning to co sleep. Little shay sleeps with us now. We have a full with a tin bed at the bottom and sleep with our knees and up sideways on the full and feet on the twin bed. We hacethe bed wall to wall and love it! Lots of room and it's on the floor (bed frame is in the guest room now). We sleep baby on the outside, the dp and the. Myself nearest the window. Sometimes little dude gets switched sides into the middle but not very often.

Dp has been thinking lots about sleeping when this baby gets here. It will go wall/youngest boy/me/dp/shay. And then rotate as nursing is required to switch side. This way everyone gets cuddles and the boys won't sleep next to each other until the little guy can at least roll away if need be.

Dp has closely in a queen before and says its not bad. When I first started staying over dsd slept on one edge, dp in the middle and myself on the other edge. Dss was in a lofted bunk bed still in the same room. Now the big Kiddos are in two lofted bunk beds in the room connected to ours with a small door way.

[alittlesandy]

We co-slept with our son until he was fifteen months. The AAP and Dr. Sears define "co-sleeping" as sleeping in the same room with your baby (see info below from Dr. Sears). I think there is a lot of misunderstanding on that point, and some mamas feel like they are not "really" co-sleeping if they are not bed-sharing. However, you do not have to bed-share in order to co-sleep.

We practiced bed-sharing with DS until he was four months old, then moved him to a crib next to the bed, where he stayed until he was fifteen-months-old. I had planned on bed-sharing longer, but found that DS does not sleep well in our bed. He was very restless and wakeful beginning at around 3 months, and would fret and kick me all night. Finally I tried moving him to a crib, and he was a pretty content sleeper after that. I never found it to be a problem or hassle to take him out of the crib for feedings in the middle of the night. I decided to night wean him at fifteen months and then we moved him to his own room. He's been sleeping through the night since then, and is a very good sleeper. I never practiced anything like CIO or sleep training of any kind. Every transition we made was gentle and seemed to be initiated by my son.

From Dr. Sears:

http://www.askdrsears.com/news/latest-news/dr-sears-addresses-recent-co-sleeping-concerns

For safe co-sleeping:

• We recommend using a bassinet that attaches safely and securely to parents’ bed, which allows both mother and baby to have their own sleeping space, while baby still enjoys sleeping close to mommy for easier feeding and comforting.
• If bed-sharing, practice these safe precautions:
  • Place babies to sleep on their backs.
  • Be sure there are no crevices between the mattress and guardrail or headboard that allows baby’s head to sink into.
  • Do not allow anyone but mother to sleep next to the baby, since only mothers have that protective awareness of baby.  Place baby between mother and a guardrail, not between mother and father. Father should sleep on the other side of mother.
  • Don’t fall asleep with baby on a cushy surface, such as a beanbag, couch, or wavy waterbed.
  • Don’t bed-share if you smoke or are under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medications that affect your sleep.

We have enjoyed sleeping close to our own babies.  I have promoted safe co-sleeping in our pediatric practice for nearly 40 years and have witnessed only positive outcomes, such as: babies sleep and grow better; promotes better bonding; breastfeeding is easier; and infants grow up with a healthy sleep attitude, regarding sleep as a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.

Finally, I would like to clarify some nighttime parenting terms: “Co-sleeping” means sleeping close enough to baby for easy comforting, such as in a bedside cosleeper.  “Bed-sharing” means mother and baby sleep side-by-side in an adult bed.  If bed-sharing makes you uncomfortable in any way, I recommend the use of an Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper® Bassinet so you can continue to co-sleep confidently.

[rozziemama]

Interesting discussion everyone.  With DS, we used the arm's reach co-sleeper next to our (then double) bed. Now, we have a queen size bed but in a smaller room and I just don't know where we could put the co-sleeper!

I am thinking about getting a bassinet at the foot of the bed.

I also was remembering -- with DS, he was so big that by 4 weeks he really seemed too big for the co-sleeper. Also - he was a NOISY sleeper. Seriously. No one warned us that newborns are not necessarily the sweet peaceful sleeping creatures you'd imagine them to be. He would make these weird grunting noises at 4am every morning that would wake us both up, but he'd be sleeping through it!

OMG it was crazy. SO - we moved him out of our room into his crib at about 5 weeks so everyone could get more sleep! He ended up sleeping well there, sometimes even 11 hours straight (!) from about 6 weeks.

So anyway. Our bedroom is a bit farther away from the baby room this time around so I don't think i'll be comfortable moving babe out so early (Though who knows) - I'd like the option of being in the same room for a while. I am going to look at bassinets.