Tattling?

[WindyCityMom]

Does this pass?  Just a phase?  Can I do anything to speed it up? 

DD1 (4y2m) will not only report to me on everything DD2 (2y2m) does, but tries to get her in trouble at all costs, and when she lacks control of a situation, she will tattle.

Examples:

"My sister burped!!!"
"My sister is walking to the bedroom!"
"My sister said it's a ball but it's not a ball!"
"My sister said it's an apron but it's a blanket!"
"My sister is saying this is a box but it's not!"
 

and then there is the boy who cried wolf stuff...

"My sister hit me!" (sister sitting on the other side of the room)
"My sister is trying to trip me!" (sister just walking past)

How do I get this to stop?  She's not starved for attention, but you'd think so!  Help!

[MountainMamaGC]

When I watch a lot of kids, and they start the tattling, I ask, "Is it bleeding, broken, or burning?" "If the the answer is no then work it out amongst yourselves please."

[One_Girl]

I only have one child, but she went through a tattling phase at school and I dealt with a lot of it as a preschool teacher.  I helped my dd, and the kids in my preschool class, keep the tattling down to a manageable level by talking about the difference between tattling and telling, having them come up with examples of each, and when they "tattled" I asked whether they were tattling or telling. 

I don't know if this works in the home but with my preschoolers I would respond to statments like "he hit me", "she took my _____", "she called me____" by telling them that I was sorry that happened to them, that I didn't see it happen, but that I would keep a close eye on the person they were reporting on to make sure it didn't happen again.  I would also encourage them to tell the other person that they didn't like what had just happened and I would walk over with them to make sure they got the child's full attention for the 15 seconds it took for them to say they didn't like it when their friend hit/took their toy/called them a mean name. 

[anjsmama]

My 3.5 y/o DS is doing this with my 1 y/o DD.  

"DD is climbing on the chair!" "DD is by the bathroom!" "DD is playing with her doll!" "DD is eating standing up!" etc etc etc etc...

I give the exact same response every time:

"Is DD hurt?" (no) "Are you hurt?" (no) "Okay, then stop telling me. Go play." He's nearly over it already and it's only been 2 weeks.

I think he's figured it out... I'm not going to respond to DD's actions because he's telling me. 

[SweetSilver]

The first thing I say is "What did you tell her after she _____?"  

I do have a "no tattling rule", but we are still in the "defining tattling" phase.  They just don't have a firm idea of what tattling is vs. telling about important things.  I don't have the "bleeding, bruising" guideline because there can be some real hurt before that, but I also want them to learn to deal with it themselves.  

When does it end?  Yeesh!  My 5yo is going through this right now.  Hopefully..... damn!  I have no idea.  When she starts feeling more confident, when she understanding what is tattling and what isn't, who knows?

It is annoying though, isn't it?

[Sarasyn]

I've noticed a lot of the reason my daughter did this was she just wanted to see the younger ones get in trouble.  She figured she got in trouble a lot, so she wanted to see them get in trouble just as much.  It was really just a phase and she did get over it once she realized they got in trouble just as often, but we handle it an age appropriate way for each child.  It does pass, eventually.

I go by the same rule as was mentioned earlier.  "Is anyone bleeding, dying, has a broken bone?  No?  How about something burning, flooding, or being destroyed?  No?  Then worry about yourself and if it's something I need to handle, I'll notice it and take care of it on my own."  Sometimes I use work it out yourself when it's between more than one child, but usually it's a "he's doing something that's not allowed!  Look at him!" kind of deal.  I've noticed since I pretty much told them to police themselves and stop worrying what the other kids were doing, we're doing much better.

[WindyCityMom]

 Thank's for the commiseration and advice!  I sure hope it gets easier.