Flying with a 20 month old

[sk8boarder15]

We are taking a trip in a few months and I'm debating wether or not to buy a seat for my son, and trying to figure out which domestic flight to take. 

We will be traveling from chicago to Las Vegas (3.5 hour flight). And it looks like tickets are about $300. It would save us a lot to put him on our laps, but hes great in the car, in his car seat so I feel like he would probably be great on the plane in his seat, and safer. 

Anyone have any recent experinces flying with a toddler? I already know we can't take Virgin or Jet Blue (at least not non-stop). And I've heard they are great... so thats a bummer. 

[marsupial-mom]

I have only flown once with my son when he was very small. I wore him in a sling on the plane.

If I flew with him now (he's 2) then I would buy a seat. It's safer and he's too squirmy to stay on my lap the whole time.

[AbbyGrant]

I highly recommend buying a seat if it's at all possible.  I flew with my daughter at that age and bought a seat and brought her car seat, and it went great, better than I ever expected even.  I can't imagine trying to hold on to a toddler the whole time in that tiny little space.  Well, I can imagine it I guess, which is why I bought a seat for her.    

[slmommy]

I did a 10 hr intl, overnight flight with DD who was 20mo in Dec. The way to the US, it was packed flight, DD in my lap, was rough, the only reason it was even possible was DH came so she could lay on both our laps. It was an overnight flight though, so she slept most of the time. The way back we were lucky and there was room on the flight so we had 3 seats in a row to ourselves. 

I would say, if you can, buy the extra seat. The only reason we managed was because she slept most of the way. And also it was saving about $1000, so that helped me suck up the 10 hours! I think day flights, when you need to do more entertaining and have a bit more space, are harder. 

[Adaline'sMama]

I flew with my 17 month old back in June, lap style. I would pay the extra money for her to have had a seat because she was SO irritated the entire time. She wallowed all over me and screamed and made other passengers miserable. She had cheerio necklaces, toys, books, candy (!!) and tons of stuff to keep her occupied, and none of it lasted longer than a few minutes. She wanted spaced. Normally, she doesnt mind the car, but she really could have used her own seat. Im sure that folks will chime in about the safety issues of a kid not being strapped in, but honestly, i think its worth the price just to not have a miserable experience. Everything was pretty good for the first couple of hours, but after that, it was awful. If you are flying from Chicago to LV, I highly recommend taking a middle of the night flight. We flew out at 5 am, and she was asleep in my arms until about 7:30. After that, I had to constantly try to entertain her to keep her from fussing because she wanted down, she wanted to walk around, and she wanted to see everything (aka, climb the backs of the seats in front of us). On the way back, our flight was at 2 pm, right after her nap, and she was awake for the whole trip.

Are you still nursing? I was nursing when I took her, but my milk was pretty much gone (I was 4 months pregnant). I think if I had been able to nurse her in a way that satisfied her, the whole trip would have gone so much better.

[sk8boarder15]

Unfortunately we are not nursing anymore :( I'm actually worried about what he will drink on the plane, because he only drinks almond milk. I found out our car seat is FAA approved YAY, so at least we wont need to find a different seat for him. We are leaning toward buying an extra seat, but still trying to figure out which airline is most kid friendly, it looks like all our non-stop options are pretty bad (AA, United...). 

[~Adorkable~]

some airlines will sell a reduced price seats to babies under two, make sure to ask

and if he has something he needs to drink, buy it in semi small packages and claim it as medical liquid. that should cover it. it covers milk and formula and even my protein drinks that  drink while I'm breastfeeding. they will test the outside of the packages and then let it thru.

[SunRise]

When I have traveled with my kids, security has OK'ed all my snacks for kids - little boxes w/ straws (I think rice milk makes little boxes), my own containers with cut up fruit and things. If you bring snacks/drinks, it is best to take them out of you day bag, let the security person know about them and send then through the scanner on their own. If not, they will have to empty your bag and scan everything, individually, following procedure, even though they know that it was the snack that set off the red flag.

I am taking my 23 mth old on my lap next week. We have two stops (ugh I would prefer one!) NY - Florida. IT is a tight squeeze at that age... most flights I have taken have always tried to be as accommodating as they can, depending on how full the plane is...

[P.J.]

In December I flew from Europe to California round trip with my then-18 month old, ALONE! We somehow got very, very lucky because on both flights (10-11 hours each) we had the seat next to us free, even though he was meant to fly on my lap. And I have to say, it would have been sheer hell if we hadn't had that extra seat. In our case it would've been more than $1000 to buy him a seat, so I didn't.....but just imagining the awful reality it would've been had been forced to sit on my lap the whole time (just try nursing a toddler without their feet going onto the next seat!) I actualy think it may have been worth $1000 to not have to go through that, lol! So yeah, if you can afford the $300, get the seat! Granted, our flights were more than 3x longer than yours will be, but knowing what I know now, I would never fly with a kid older than, say 12 months on my lap.

As for the flights themselves, it was very very VERY long (well the flight there was...the flight back was a red eye and he slept half the time so it was way easier), but I just divided it up into 10-20 minute chunks and had a load of (mostly new) toys, books, coloring and other games and activities I would switch out at regular intervals, plus of course tons of snacks. I gave him his own tiny backpack with wheels and he LOVED having that, plus it provided lots of extra space for more toys and such! I kept a huge hip sack on at all times with a couple dipes, wipes, cream, water, a couple small toys, etc, which really helped when roaming around the plane. I packed several separate ziploc bags with about 5 little cars in each one for him and just kept switching them out when he had played awhile with one set (which he did standing in front of "his" seat and playing on the seat). We went for regular walks up and down the aisles and got to know another boy about his age and his dad, which also helped pass the time. DS also seemed to enjoy going into the bathroom and standing on the (closed) toilet seat and playing with the water in the sink. Kinda gross but I did it a few times just for a few minutes worth of entertainment.

But perhaps the biggest help was having an iPad with a few videos and apps on it. He played on the apps (one he really likes is called Fluid Toy 2) but the best thing was switching on Bob The Builder and putting the headphones on him. We don't usually watch tv or videos, so I guess it was especially captivating, but I was soooooo relieved to have a complete break for those times. I could read or watch the flight movie, it was fantastic! My boy got bored with the videos after maybe 20-30 minutes, but I had it in our regular rotation of activities so he watched maybe a total of 3 separate times. If you can get a portable DVD player or iPad or laptop, I highly recommend videos, even if you;re usually a no-tv family. In a case like travel with a toddler, it is a real lifesaver and IMO does no harm at all.

All in all I was surprised how easy it was and how well-behaved DS was. I wish you luck. Just have tons of tricks up your sleeve and enough varied entertainment to keep switching things out and you should be fine. After 2x 10+ hour flights alone with a toddler, 3 hours (esp. if you have a partner) seems easy! You'll be fine!

[chel]

4 hr is the max I would do for a lap.  Especially with more than one paying person it gives you a tad bit more room to seat your child.  The only trip I paid for a seat were long trips (Alaska and Hawaii) and dd was in my lap the entire time!

[CStone1]

I flew with my son at about 18 months and had him on my lap. We had an hour and a half flight than another flight of about 4 hours and then one more flight of an hour. All the transitions were challenging but overall he did quite well. Honestly if its just one flight of 3.5 hours I would save the money and go for having him on your lap. I was surprised by how well my son did and how entertained he was by all the little buttons, tray table, window shade, seat belt etc - who would have thought. I brought toys and books and snacks to keep him busy. I saw that you were concerned about what he would drink since you said he only drinks almond milk - good new you CAN bring liquids for any child under 4 years old in whatever quantity is necesary. All you have to do is have them all together in a bag of some kind and take them out and show and tell security when you are going through. Hope this helps.

[CalaRei]

We flew with our boys across the country (Seattle to Pittsburgh, with layovers) at about 18 and again at 23 months as lap babies, and they did great, considering.  Our biggest "bummer" is that there's only allowed to be one lap baby per row, so hubby and I couldn't take advantage of sitting next to each other for leaning space.  Also, for that trip at 23 months, I was pregnant and ended up with some sudden morning sickness so I ended up being the bane of the flight, and the poor kids were doing just fine!

We had ipads, those magic water doodle books, LOTS OF SNACKS, stacking cups, stickers.  Scheduling the flights is hard.  Red eye is nice because they just sleep, but the later in the day you go, you risk more and more delays creeping up (plus, mine were always happiest first thing in the morning) So I dunno - I think overthinking it just ends up making you crazy.  We checked EVERYTHING (carseats, etc) except our daypack and the stroller, and that gets gatechecked.  Zip up footie pjs makes for easy security.  Lots of airports also have a kids area for climbing and changing diapers, so look for that.

So... save your money and go for the lap baby flight while you can take advantage of it (or... since EVERYONE mentioned using an iPad, I guess you could spend the extra money on that, if you don't have one!   )

[Anna Phor]

Will you have another adult with you? That makes a huge difference

I did east coast US to London (8 hour flight) with my kid at 18 months as a lap child--but in business class, and with my husband. I also did DC to Buffalo (50 minutes) with him at 23 months as a lap child in coach, sitting next to a stranger. The second of those two flights was waaay harder. Space was very tight and we had to keep in our own space--no way would I do that for 3.5 hours. But in a row of 2 seats with just me, my husband, and kid, I think it would be okay.

FYI, our London flight was on United, and I have not found them less kid-friendly than other airlines. American has a weight limit on gate-checked strollers, but apart from that I don't know if their policies are different from anyone else's.

[sk8boarder15]

Thank you sooo much for the info everyone! So glad to know I can bring his almond milk on the plane and many days he won't drink anything else and he can't have dairy! 

I will be traveling with my husband, and it looks like we are just going to pay for the extra seat, since we will need our carseat on the other side, and he does great in the car. 

We do plan on bringing both my husbands laptop and my kindle fire on the plane for entertainment. So between that and some new toys and books I think we should do pretty well. I already bought some crayola "on the go" packs on sale which will be a big hit since they are markers and he almost never gets to use markers (he sticks them in his mouth!) and since I will be right there, he can't really get away with anything! 

I'm thinking of doing an early morning flight on the way there and a late night flight on the way back. But we'll see whats available. I'm really hoping he naps at least some of the way. At this point I don't think we will be bringing a stroller, but we will see how the next few months go. He HATES the stroller, we only use it to carry stuff most days, he wants to walk or go on our backs. So we will probably baby-wear most of the trip and buy a cheep luggage cart to haul the carseat around the airport. 

I'd still love anymore tips you all have!