I dont know where to post this but I will try here.
My friend told me in October that she thought she was pregnant. She was not TTC. She had taken a HPT three weeks after her theoretical conception date and the test was negative. Her nursling was about 1 yo at the time and she had not started AF since his birth. I did not think she was pregnant. She didnt take another test, saying that her body knew better. At 12 weeks she went to see the midwife, who could not find a heartbeat and said her uterus was quite low. She wanted to do a blood test but my friend would not. Since then she has continued on as if pregnant without seeing the midwife again or any other caregiver. At about 20 weeks I gently told her I was really worried about her since she was insisting she was pregnant and had no signs at all, although she says has been feeling the baby move for several weeks. She is very thin and I kept hoping, waiting for a bump of some kind to appear, but none did. She is very tiny and has three young kids. With her last one I think she looked pregnant very early, at about 12-14 weeks.
This past weekend she called to tell me was spotting and thought she was miscarrying. She would have been about 23 weeks by then. I hadnt seen her for three weeks and I asked if she had developed a bump. I was wondering if maybe she was getting her period finally. Of course she was furious and hung up the phone. She would not answer my calls or emails after that. Her partner was out of town. I have spoken to several people since the weekend who know her and she has told everyone she lost her baby.
I am so horrified I can hardly think straight. In my heart I knew this charade would have to end but I didnt really think it would end like this. I have had a miscarriage, I know what that entails, and for her to pretend to lose a baby at 22 weeks....that is a full-on baby. It would have been a stillbirth. I should say that she has shown no other signs of being mentally unwell at all. I feel so torn. On the one hand I feel like she must be very sad to do something like this and I should just continue being supportive. On the other hand, I am disgusted that she would manipulate the emotions of myself, her partner and her other caring friends, some of whom have had pregnancy losses and other terrible losses to grieve. The whole ordeal is very surreal and I am feeling really messed-with. She has been a good friend to me and I know her very well, probably better than anyone else does, including her partner with whom she has a less-than-ideal relationship with. What an awful position to be in.
Sigh. I just cant believe she would do this. Is there any chance that I was wrong? She actually went to the hospital and a mutual friend told me that it sounded as though the hospital staff did not believe her and did not do an ultrasound. So now I am worried that she is going to have CPS knocking on her door. Either way the whole situation is just awful.
Edited by joybird - 2/14/12 at 1:26pm