Baby Shower « Back to Group Discussions

[MamaInTheDesert]

Anybody doing a baby shower? I was leaning towards no, but now five separate friends have asked when the baby shower is, as if it is expected. So, now I'm thinking I probably will. I recently got invited to another girl's shower that's in a couple of weeks. I'm going to wait until after I go to that one to decide for sure. I've only been to two baby showers before, and I haven't been to any baby showers in this area, so I want to find out what all goes into a typical shower here before I start to plan. Technically my mom would be hosting, but I would have to do all of the legwork. So, out of curiosity, what all are you guys doing for your showers?

What kind of food?

What kind of games/entertainment?

Are you decorating?

Are men invited, or is it a girls only event?

Oh, and to go with the last question, have you all heard of a Diaper Party? DH has been asked if he's hosting one, and I finally had to ask what it was. Apparently it's a guy only party with a pack of diapers being the admission fee. I had never heard of this one.

[snugglebug14]

Originally I wasn't going to do a baby shower this pregnancy. It's my third baby (but my partner's first) and we don't really "need" a ton of "stuff". I have been planning since the very beginning to do a motherblessing ceremony tho. But...being my partner's first kid his mom really wants to throw me a baby shower. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Baby showers tend to feel like a lot of pressure to smile and say thank you as you open endless gifts. But the thought behind it is really sweet and I know it means a lot to her so I decided to go along with it. I decided to do a registry at an altnerative/natural baby store online and a local cloth diaper store and to also say that in lieu of gifts, a frozen meal for postpartum would be greatly appreciated. And now I'm kinda getting excited about it.

To answer your questions...

Food...depends on the time of day...munchy finger foods, deli plate, sides, etc usually works well

games...personally i can't stand the silly shower games, which is one of the reasons i didn't totally want a baby shower at first. if they're your thing go for it! but if not, i saw leave it out. spend the time socializing, plan some sort of art activity, have a blessing circle, whatever feels right for you

i'd say minimal decorations if any. maybe a few balloons here and there. but especially if you are doing the leg work, don't stress over decorations. people want to come because they care about you and want to show you a little love, they won't really care if there are decorations are not. and it's definitely not worth overdoing it for a baby shower especially late in pregnancy

men...typically men don't come to a baby shower. but of course, it's about you and that baby bump so if you want men there, invite them! that's my philosophy at least. i'm not necessarily one to follow all of society's rules and norms. if it feels right for me, i do it. so if i want men at my mothering blessing or baby shower they will be there (altho, personally i'm still on the fence on this one)

and for what it's worth...i have never heard of the diaper party thing. sounds kinda silly but also a nice way for your man to get some support/celebration and a great way to have a head start on a diaper stash :)

[katiedidder]

This is my first, and I think I may end up with three separate showers (crazy since I'm not a fan of being the center of attention).  One is going to be with other students in my nursing school program and sounds like it will be pretty mellow.  I'm not sure exactly what they are doing but it's going to be after school and I doubt anyone has time to do anything crazy.

The second is being hosted by my longest, since-childhood friend.  This is the one family & friends will be invited to.  The plan (as far as I know) is to try and make bleach pen onsies (sort of like this, but with onesies: http://pinterest.com/pin/13933080066684997/) and make pizzas and just hang out.  We're keeping it to just ladies, since we're having it at my house and it could get a little out of hand with the number of people if guys were there. 

Finally, some of my midwife/birthy friends are throwing a small blessing where we'll be making a belly cast. 

[thecountrymouse]

I am having a baby shower a month before my due date.  It will be at a local park.  Men and kids are invited.  We will probably do a potluck.  I won't have any games but will have activities- like onesie decorating and stuff for kids to do.  No decorating.  My daughter will be almost seven, the party will be more of a celebration than a time to get gifts.  I don't have anything for the baby but I don't want much.  I will request "No gifts" on the invitations.  

You can do whatever you want with a baby shower.  Anything goes, just do what you want and what will make you comfortable.  I've been to big BBQs, blessing ways, big parties with kids, all sorts of baby showers.

I love katiedidder's small blessing in addition to the baby shower.  I would love a small intimate group and a big party.  

[swelldoula]

I'm having a shower toward the end of April. It gets pretty hot here once May hits, and my husband is graduating law school in May too, so I wanted to do it early. I guess I'm doing more of the traditional shower thing- we've registered on amazon.com and a local store. But, I honestly don't *need* most of that stuff, I just know people like to buy gifts. 

I'm doing a Japanese type theme because I found some super cute invitations on tinyprints.com that have cherry blossoms, but they are blue/neutral colors (we are team green!). This is what I'm going to make for food:

 

Here's the menu I wrote out:

Steamed Edamame

Rice Cracker Snacks

Grilled Chicken, Shrimp, and Vegetable Skewers with Dipping Sauces 

Soba Noodle Salad

Spinach Salad with Sesame Dressing

Iced Green Tea

Ginger Lemonade

Japanese Beer

Chocolate Cherry Blossom Cupcakes

Mochi Ice Cream (Store bought)

Men, women and children will be there, so it will be more of a party/ get together rather than a typical baby shower. I haven't planned out much more than the food yet though. I really like the idea of a "mother blessingway", but if I do something like that, it would be a separate thing, with just a few of my good female friend present. 

[becoming]

Mine is going to be the first weekend in May, and I'm sooo excited! We're having it at my house. My best friend, my sister-in-law, and my mother-in-law are hosting it. I think they're going to do a Paris poodle/black & pink theme, which is going to be ridiculously cute. (Black & pink are the nursery colors.) It'll be girls only, and we'll probably just have cake and finger foods. I guess they'll decorate.

[FaithHopeLove29]

I think I'm going to have two showers - one my MIL and Mother are organizing for friends and family, which will be in the afternoon, so light snacks/desserts/tea+coffee - And one is being hosted by my church family, which is nice cuz it would be crazy to try to have all of them at the family party my mothers are throwing. My mom will make sure neither is a surprise date (I hate surprise parties) but I don't really know anything else about either as far as games or what not. My first shower is in april, as my moms are hoping I'm not too uncomfortable by then. 

The shower my moms are throwing is "whoever wants to come" as far as men/women - but I think they're only sending my female extended family invites (so dad, brothers, local family+friends can decide) I have a brother coming for sure and my DH will be coming too, both because they want to :) I'm sure the church shower will be women only, but that's just the way that works. If I was planning my own, I'd invite everyone I wanted to come, let people decide if they want to come, and set the theme based on my guest list and what I wanted. 

I had never heard of that kind of diaper part - I'm having a "diaper party" soon, but it's totally different. Two women close to me who cloth diaper are having me over, maybe with their kids maybe not, maybe with husbands, maybe not, to try out all the different diapering options. So that's our "diaper party" :) I like the idea of building a stash, for me I'm thinking I'm going to use disposables for the first week (or so...) while I figure out how to take care of a baby, then add in washing cloth diapers to the mix. It's kind of a nice idea if you're having a women's only shower, too, your DH can have a diaper party and have his own time to celebrate in his own way. 

[PrincessSputnik]

I've been struggling with this.

My mom is SUPER excited to throw me a baby shower, as it is my first. She's booked a restaurant for a buffet brunch (salads, pasta, fish and meat dishes + a sweet table), is getting an alcohol permit and has asked me to come up with my guest list (she has her own, as does my MIL). I'm ok with this and think it's super cute that my mom is so excited about planning and doing this for me. BUT, I'm a little hesitant to invite my girlfriends because I know some are pretty strapped for cash, and the last thing I want to do is ask them to shell out $$ on gifts, but because my mom is covering everyone's meal, it would be expected that they spend a certain amount on a gift.

So, what I'm in thinking is inviting everyone so no one feels excluded, but explaining that there will be another, more casual shower at our place, closer to the due date, where it'll be potluck and NO gifts and I'd be equally thrilled to see them at one or the other.

I'm not sure this is the best approach, but invites are going out soon, so I'll have to decide!

[Sarasyn]

I have a secret...a big dark secret...I really want to have a baby shower.  I never got a shower with any of my other pregnancies and it just sounds kind of fun.  The last one I went to was Alice in Wonderland themed, the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.  One of the things I remember (aside from drinking from ridiculously large tea cups) was the only real party game that anyone stuck to.  She set a timer and every time it went off, everyone had to jump up from their seats and change places to sit next to someone they hadn't sat next to before.  It was pretty silly and a lot of fun.  I don't remember any of the annoying traditional shower games.

I don't think I want a traditional shower either.  Traditional shower games just sound boring.  On top of that, I'm thinking I want gifts to be optional, since I know not everyone in my circle of friends can really afford much.  I'm also going to tell people I'd prefer second-hand stuff to new, or hand-made.  We won't need diapers since we've got a huge stock of cloth, and cloth diapers are expensive.  We won't need bottles and all that since it's going to be exclusively breastfed.  Since we're going to co-sleep, that means we don't have to deal with a crib.  We plan to buy the car seats on our own.  What we'll need the most of is clothes, and it's easy to find a lot of second-hand clothes.  This would probably be easier if we were going to find out the gender, but there's plenty of cute gender-neutral clothes in second hand shops around here.

As for the diaper party, I have no idea, but maybe I should pass on the idea to my boyfriend.  While we won't be needing disposables, maybe we could have them pitch in to buy one of the cloth diapers I really want!  I love our birdseye flats, but I'd REALLY like some one-size pockets or AIOs!

[Sarasyn]

Oh, yeah, I forgot to add...usually when a mom has a baby shower, someone else throws it for her, usually a friend or relative.  She's supposed to give them an idea of what she likes, but she shouldn't have to lift a finger to make any of it happen.  Of course, the reality is if I didn't have input and control over it, I think I would go out of my mind with curiosity and harass the hell out of my friend, but that's me.  Some moms are happier to sit back and enjoy than others.  I'm definitely not one of those moms.

[Sharlla]

ive never had one either.  a few people offered but it just seems wrong to be part of the process although i would  like  it if it were a surprise.

[kjourdan]

Princess Sputnik...I understand your concern about having friends who are strapped for cash.  It's nice of you to think of their comfort, but I also think that just like at a wedding, there shouldn't be an expected amount spent on a gift.  People should buy a gift they can afford and want to give, not based on how much money the host(ess) has decided to spend throwing the party.  If they would have a good time at the shower your Mom is throwing, they should be invited!  Showers are supposed to be about showering the guest of honor with good wishes and love as they transition into a new phase of their life, not just about gifts.  Maybe by pooling their money they could purchase a gift together?

[Sarasyn]

I know this might sound like a cheesy suggestion, but what about mentioning that they could give you a coupon book for services they can help you out with after the baby's here.  I can't even begin to tell you how useful that would have been!  There are so many times when I would have loved to call up a friend and say, "Hey, can you help me out with dinner a couple nights this week.  I'm just not feeling well and someone's got to do the cooking."  House cleaning, cooking, running your errands, most of that stuff is pretty cheap to do, if not free.  That would give your friends a chance to give you cheap gifts that would really be more valuable in the end than a lot of the stuff they could buy you.  Generally I had to call that in once when I first moved down here, called my friend right before dinner time and asked her to come make dinner for me and the kids.  I was sick with a blocked duct and a ridiculous fever in bed, and I can't tell you how glad I was she could drop in last minute, but usually planning ahead works just fine.  I had a friend that got a whole wardrobe of gently used baby clothes, probably a whole first year's worth, because her friend's daughter had just outgrown it all and she was expecting a girl.

Nothing says gifts at a shower need to be new, expensive, or a physical item.  There's lots of creative ways you can have your friends give gifts when they don't have a huge budget to spend.  It's really about your preferences and what you're comfortable accepting.

[Nicole730]

I love lame baby shower games! 

At a shower I threw for my friend last year, the activity was to make a scrapbook.  So each person decorated one page with spots for photos and stickers.  Then all the mama has to do is still the photos in at the end of her child's first year.  It was super fun and, I think, useful for the mom.  Onesie decorating is cute...but how many decorated onesies can a person use? 

I also don't really think guys should be invited to a traditional shower, plenty of women don't care for them and I don't see a reason to have guys who don't want to be there sit through them either.  My husband did come to one of mine and helped open presents, but he wasn't there for the games and activities.

[MamaInTheDesert]

Everyone's shower plans sound so lovely! I especially love the idea of the mother blessings or blessingways. I had never heard of those before. I'm also glad though that no one else has heard of a diaper party. I felt like I was so out of the loop on that one! I love the variance of ideas and themes you all have. Like most of you I'm not big on the whole idea of shower games. I went through about a hundred different games yesterday and I just couldn't see myself doing any of those -- things like chocolate melted in disposable diapers, and everyone cutting strings to see who's closest to how big my belly is.. ugh. I like the ideas where everyone creates something for mommy and baby though. The bleach pen onesies and the scrapbook ideas really stood out for me. How wonderful for you guys to be able to take away something that was created by friends and family to celebrate the birth of your baby! I'm still going to go to the shower next weekend, as it promises to be typical of a baby shower for the area, to see what people will "expect" when I have a baby shower. I know that traditionally I should not have to lift a finger or plan my own shower, but no one has offered to throw the shower (They just all want to know when it is, and tell me they've already gotten something so I feel obligated to have one.) My mom has graciously offered to have it at her house and "host" in the traditional sense, but beyond having my dad throw some food on the grill is just not the type to plan these things. It's more of a "whatever you want to do, you can do it here" situation. So, I am grateful for that, and well... I'm kind of a control freak, so I'm glad to have the freedom to figure out what I want to do for the occasion. Now I just have to do that!

[MamaInTheDesert]

Okay! So, I've finally figured out what I want to do for my baby shower! I'm going to go ahead and just have it be a laid back BBQ at my parents with whole families invited. I'll throw up some baby blue balloons in strategic locations for decorations. And, I'm going to set up a tie-dying station underneath the big tree in the backyard with white onesies in different sizes, white receiving blankets, and tiny white socks to all be dyed.

I went to that baby shower a couple of weekends ago, and it was exactly what I thought it would be -- sandwiches, terrible games, and about two hours of watching the mom to be open presents. The mama was so embarrassed by the games that I really felt bad for her. They actually did the game I mentioned earlier where you take crepe paper and guesstimate how big her belly is, and all but two people guessed at least a foot bigger around than she actually was. By the time the last people "measured" her, she looked like she was about to cry. "You all just think I'm fat!!" She exclaimed. I was mortified for her. Plus, the other ladies there were all sneaking out of the place to call their significant others saying they hoped it would all be over soon so they could leave. The worst of it, was that the porch echoed back into the room where the Mom to Be could hear everyone saying things like "I think we have another stupid game to do" or "She's been opening presents for over an HOUR. If she takes much longer, I'm just going to get a cupcake and leave." (They were holding the cupcakes hostage until after presents were opened.) It felt more like a roast than a shower. I didn't know what to do, except be overly congratulatory, give her hugs, and help with clean-up.

So, yeah, I definitely don't want a scene like that, and obviously the people in my crowd weren't okay with it either. So, I'm hoping more of a party/get-together atmosphere, where people can mosey around the house and the yard, do an activity if they want to, or sit around if they feel like it will be a better fit. Plus, I think making it a family friendly thing will help as well. That's more of what I was leaning towards anyway, but after watching one girl after another go to "check-in" with their S/O's I think it would just make everyone a little more comfortable.

I still feel so terribly for the mom at the last baby shower. If I knew of a way to do it without making her feel worse about it, I'd somehow apologize for everyone's behavior.

[mariagarcia495]

Baby showers are a fun event! You can have a local restaurant cater the party, and decorate with a baby theme! Removable wall decals are a great way to spice up the living room with your baby theme!