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Feeling like I'm failing my son - Page 2

post #21 of 24


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by thefragile7393 View Post

It is true I would like him as on-par with public school as much as possible, since I don't know what tomorrow will bring per se.  However I don't think this is going to be completely possible....he just isn't going to fit in to public school mode on every level.  It is true he may have to go for a few years at some point....if he does, then we will have to deal with what he lacks then. 

 

It sounds like you're in a good place now.  As for worrying about public school equivalency just in case -- to be fair, not even 'worrying' but just 'keeping in mind' -- it can help to remember that MOST kids who are IN the public school system have tons of holes and delays too.  Just because they've been in the system with particular curricular expectations doesn't mean that they're all meeting those expectations!

 

A few years ago I was looking over standardized test results and analysis for our province.  I can't remember the exact numbers, but they were shocking enough that the precision doesn't matter, just the generality.  Basically, a student was considered to be 'successful' on the test (I think this was for grade 3) if they achieved something like 60% on the test.  A school was considered to be successful if like half of the kids had satisfactory results on the test. Some tests, provincewide, had like a 30-40% 'successful' rate, and this was considered to be acceptable!

 

So by absolutely no means does the curricular lesson plans mean an expectation of *mastery* at any particular grade level.  In other words, if your child ends up having to go to public school for a couple years and is 'behind' or lacking in any particular area... he will NOT be the only one in the class!  :)

post #22 of 24

I do like to keep tabs on what our public schools include in their curriculum, if for no other reason than for ideas.  If I look under math expectations and see that extrapolating patterns is covered (A A B A A B A A __ ) then I bring home some beads that the girls can play with.  I see that they cover the names of shapes, so I bring home some wooden shape blocks so that not only do they find out the names but (more importantly I think) learn how the shapes interact by making pictures.  We play board games with dice for simple addition (not on purpose, but it works!)

 

Some areas I know we are behind.  My oldest, who has always struggled with fine motor control, is behind in her writing, but a combination of biding our time and bringing home sparkle-covered notebooks has been enough to get her practicing and make some significant progress.  Other areas the girls are way, way ahead.  DD1, 7yo, is (by happenstance) understanding multiplication and doing it in her head.  Also, our interests have included subjects like astronomy and Greek mythology and I'm sure they understand way more than the average first grader on those subjects.  We also raise chickens (and soon ducks) and we garden.  Learning to read, in our house anyway, just happens and doesn't need teaching.

 

So, knowing what is included in the curriculum can be helpful for the reason pp's mentioned and my reasons in this post, but they are not necessarily something that needs to be strictly adhered to.  Also, as I have attempted to show, they don't need to be approached in the same way.

post #23 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tankgirl73 View Post


 

 

It sounds like you're in a good place now.  As for worrying about public school equivalency just in case -- to be fair, not even 'worrying' but just 'keeping in mind' -- it can help to remember that MOST kids who are IN the public school system have tons of holes and delays too.  Just because they've been in the system with particular curricular expectations doesn't mean that they're all meeting those expectations!

 

A few years ago I was looking over standardized test results and analysis for our province.  I can't remember the exact numbers, but they were shocking enough that the precision doesn't matter, just the generality.  Basically, a student was considered to be 'successful' on the test (I think this was for grade 3) if they achieved something like 60% on the test.  A school was considered to be successful if like half of the kids had satisfactory results on the test. Some tests, provincewide, had like a 30-40% 'successful' rate, and this was considered to be acceptable!

 

So by absolutely no means does the curricular lesson plans mean an expectation of *mastery* at any particular grade level.  In other words, if your child ends up having to go to public school for a couple years and is 'behind' or lacking in any particular area... he will NOT be the only one in the class!  :)


This is soooo true!  I don't put stock into standardized testing the way it's done today and I definitely can see that my son would likely be in good company if and when this happens.  If testing was done the way it's done now back when I was younger I never would have finished school.  I was so poor in math and I never got any help sadly.  If i had known that I needed to do testing just to be able to graduate I would have been much worse of a basket case than I already was.  Anyway...its true that my son may struggle a little but like you said, kids raised solely in the public school system often struggle as well.

 

post #24 of 24

I've read most of the replies and it sounds like you've already gotten alot of the encouragement and support that you need to reassure that you are not failing your son!  I wanted to offer a couple of practical tips that helped my ds.  DS1 turned 6 in August and he is in K according to our school district cut-off, but I would count him as a semester ahead.  So we are about to finish K.  Anyway, ds began to read when he was 4, but due to lack of my knowledge in how to encourage his reading, he really stalled out until we started homeschooling last year.  He became very good at sounding out short words, but as far as putting a sentence together and being "smooth," it wasn't happening and he was frustrated.  Two things helped.  We started using Progressive Phonics.  You can choose exactly what level to begin with.  You read part of the story and your ds reads the big red words that he is supposed to be learning.  It's fun for ds because we do it TOGETHER.  I read with great enthusiasm and he gets to insert his part.  We have worked our way from beginning up through intermediate and he almost never grumbles about it.  There did come a time half way into our year where he was just grumbling about everything.  It was all "too hard."  I was frustrated and so was he.  I thought the last thing I should do was take a break, but it was december, so I decided to just take a month off.  It was against everything I felt to be right.  I didn't think it would be wise to stop working when he was stalled out and complaining, but we did it.  Took the month off...entirely.  The only thing we did that month was I read to him.  About three weeks into the month, I was reading "Frog and Toad" and there was a short page that had very simple words.  I told him, "You know, I bet you could read most of these words...give it a try."  He didn't fuss, he just looked at it and started sounding out the words.  The next thing I knew he had read three pages and was so proud of himself!

 

I'm not saying take a month off and your ds will be reading, but it might not hurt just to ease up on the academics and just breathe.  Take the stress out of the equation and see if he makes a leap while your'e not looking!

 

 

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