Now he is back and we both want to have joint custody, no child support.
Can we write up a contract, haveit signed ad notarized and call it the end, or do we HAVE to go back to court?
you can do that, but he should WANT to go to court, so that he isn't held in arrears for not paying child support. You can just write up an agreement and have it signed by a judge most of the time, it doesn't have to be a big thing in court.
The main reason to get the agreement amended would actually be for his protection. Is he paying through an agency or directly to you? Either way, without the agreement change, he could technically be on the hook for arrears. Otherwise, it should be very simple to bring the signed order in, get approval from the judge and get it filed. The only issue would be if you were getting public assistance -- they would want him to be paying child support.
Also, in the new agreement, you may still want to consider how you'll handle expenses related to medical care, child care, and extraordinary or unexpected child-related expenses. Good to have that sorted out ahead of time.
It's really great that you have a cooperative parenting arrangement!
It's not legally binding without the judge signing off on it. To be blunt, he would be stupid to just have the agreement outside of court. Not saying you would do this, but should there be a falling out, you could go after him for the child support amounts that he has not been paying and the court will go with the court order over the agreement.
The flip side, your ex moves back, you get a judge to sign off on it and he doesn't exercise all of his parenting time. He would not be legally obligated to pay you any child support at all per the court order.
Basically, we are back together.
BUT, even if we weren't the issues we HAD regarding parenting are no longer a concern and I feel he now should have shared custody.
He pays me WELL over what child support standards in the state are. He is not paying through the state, but the state wants him to because my daughter is on state insurance? Apparently they can take part of his child support payments and apply them to pay for back medical costs?