The pre-natal class suggested stashing away a couple of bottles and a pacifier for "just in case"

[LizzieMum]

I'm a bit upset tonight about the pre-natal class we attended.  Again, I am doubting myself and the decisions I have made.......I wish I was stronger in myself........

They went around the room asking who has bought what stuff, and who has what stashed away for when their babies are born and I feel like the only person who has stashed away practically nothing  :-(  But this is because I don't feel I need to.

Like ok, I've got my cloth nappies, cloth wipes, some clothes, a change table, a bassinet, some slings and a second hand stroller.  The other girls in my class have sterilizing kits and bottles and pacifiers and the nurse at the class said that it's good to have bottles and pacifiers around incase the baby needs boiled water or something.  I was asked whether I had that stuff stashed away and I said I didn't.  My mother was saying the same thing the other day about my sister-in-law who gives her baby boiled water too from a bottle, but that the baby doesn't want it.  I feel like such a black sheep in those classes now, or that they think I'm a weird hippy chick (with dreadlocks and a pierced nose) who's baby is going to miss out on having a pacifier and disposable nappies because its mama is a hippy.

I thought I'd just pick stuff like bottles and pacifiers up if I needed to buy it later........rather than getting it now and not needing it.

I also asked a question about immunization.  In Australia the immunization program is good, but they do a whole lot of immunizations against a lot of diseases all on the one day.  The fluid has them all mixed in together so it's two needles the baby gets and they get immunized against, say 10 diseases all at once.  I asked the nurse if they could be split up perhaps, so the baby wasn't having to deal with so much on the one day, but it was like I was the first person ever to have asked such a question and the answer from the nurse was "no", and that "every does it this way".

[Mama4life14]

Don't feel bad for not stashing things you think you don't need. I had the same attitude as you (I'll just buy whatever I need, if I need it) and I never ended up using a bottle once, never used a pacifier either. (Although wanted to a couple times, lol) co-sleeping made that easier!

If its only a quick, skip, hop and a jump to a store, I say no big deal!

[motherhendoula]

Dont feel badly about your choices - you just havent found the right crowd of parents yet - maybe go to a a LLL meeting - you may find more like-mided mommies there.  And there is no sense buying things you wont use.  I actually think that is the single biggest mistake some new parents make - they spend WAY too much money getting a swing, a bouncy seat, a large stroller and a smaller stroller - some sort of car seat /stroller system, a breast pump, pillow and cover ups for breastfeeding, bottles, a sterilizer - well, the list goes on and on - and there is no shortage of unscrupulous companies out there ready to sell you more useless crap - calling it 'best for baby'

its a marketing guilt trap - you dont need to fall for it.

I DID decide to supplement my last LO -  from about day 4 to day 6 - so i sent my DH to the store for ONE bottle and ONE can of formula - and by day 6 i (finally!) started to see that my milk had come in 

- we kept the bottle, when he was teething he liked to chew on the bottom of it! 

Take a deep breath mama youre fine!

[JMJ]

I think the store is the perfect distance away for bottles/pacifiers to be...  I actually think it's very important NOT to have them in the home (unless, of course, there are circumstances in which you know you're going to need them, such as you're planning on returning to work quickly).  Convincing you to stow a can of formula and a couple bottles is exactly how formula companies get you to wean to their formula .  If something comes up, they'll have what is medically necessary for your baby at the hospital, and you'll have time to run to the store.

Formula/bottles are not something that you just suddenly need and need it now.  They're something that you can plan ahead that you're going to use, making a decision with a clear head, or you can decide that you need them because of medical need.  Breastfeeding has it's ups and downs in the beginning just due to the normal course of mother and baby learning how it's done and your body learning how much milk it needs to make, and resorting to a bottle in a moment of frustration is exactly what damages the breastfeeding relationship (both by affecting the learning curve because of nipple confusion and giving your body mixed signals about how much milk it needs to supply) and your confidence.

If you want to put together a "just in case" kit, I'd go to a LLL meeting and meet the leader(s), make a list of leaders' phone numbers, get a copy of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (The newest version has great information on the normal course of breastfeeding plus a troubleshooting section in back.), a small bottle of lanolin, and some comfortable clothes with quick and easy nursing access that help minimize difficulty nursing at home and in public.

[rachelsmama]

Those things can be acquired later if you ever need them.

Incidentally, isn't it risky to give babies bottles of water?  I thought that could lead to water intoxication.

sorry to ddcrash, I was just surfing "new posts" and thought the water recomendation sounded a bit off

[LizzieMum]

Thank you all for your replies.  After an emotional night it was lovely to wake up to these messages.  

I'm still up against some opposition from DH though.  He has stuck in his mind that we are going to need bottles urgently at 3am in the morning and all the stores will be closed, or baby will urgently need a pacifier and he'll have to run to the store to get one in a mad hurry on a sunday and then rush it back to me.  Honestly!  When is something like that, that much of an emergency?

[Amy M]

My hubby was like your DH, I swear if it was on a commercial he thought we had to have it    I can't ever really see a baby having an emergency paci situation.  If babies really want to suck they will find something to suck, you, fingers, toes, shirts etc.   As for the bottle I do think if you have it it may tempt someone to use it.  Example my wonderfully well meaning mom, without my knowledge, attempted to give my DD a bottle so I could nap.  My DD wanted nothing to do with it and I woke up to a hysterical baby and really upset mom.  If someone really wants to get a chance to feed baby and you pump at all you could try spoon feeding some bm but once again unless you are hours away from a store or doctor I can't see bottles ever being an emergency situation.   Good luck and don't compare your parenting skills or children to others!  You know what you're doing  

As far as the shots there are MDC boards where you can go to see options from delayed/selective vaxing to nonvaxing.  Trust me we don't all do it that way......

[mrsteapot]

Okay, I tried really hard to resist, but I just can't! I'd have said "Oh yeah! I have a great merlot and several stouts all ready to go." 

[Mulvah]

DDCC.

I didn't buy bottles until I needed them for pumping, but pacifiers aren't a four-letter word in this house, so I did have two on hand.  My LO wasn't a fan, so it didn't matter, but it wasn't a big deal for me to have them on hand.    I don't really see the big deal - some mothers prefer to have anything and everything they may want or need on hand and others of us would rather get the essentials and buy what we find we need if/when we need it.  The plus side to the latter is that you'll save a lot of money. 

[SKJ2011]

Just echoing all the other responses.  My biggest lesson as a parent has been to trust my instincts.  It's not always easy, but you know what's best for your child.  Also, I referenced kellymom.com a million times at the beginning, especially when I heard unsolicited advice about starting solids before 6 months or giving water. It might help for your DH to read that to be reassured?  Kudos to you for having a strong conviction about this. 

[bluebutterfly]

Originally Posted by rachelsmama 

Those things can be acquired later if you ever need them.

Incidentally, isn't it risky to give babies bottles of water?  I thought that could lead to water intoxication.

sorry to ddcrash, I was just surfing "new posts" and thought the water recomendation sounded a bit off

Yes, giving a baby water in a bottle is dangerous and can lead to hypernatremia which can be fatal. I would never give a baby water.

[Alenushka]

I had bottles. And nipples. And pacfiers.

I do not buy this entire no bottle, nipple confusion thing.  I was not not going to be with my baby 24/7. I had to finish a college course. My education was one of the best gifts I gave my kids.

So, I had pump and pumped milk when needed.

There is nothing wrong with pacifiers. Nipple are not made of steel. Mine bled and cracked despite good latch. I have a sensitive kin. So, 8 hours of comfort nursing was out of the question.

Pacifier also reduce risk of SIDS.

I never use formula but I had some just in case. Reality is, small percentage of women never makes enough milk.

[bluebutterfly]

Originally Posted by LizzieMum 

Thank you all for your replies.  After an emotional night it was lovely to wake up to these messages.  

I'm still up against some opposition from DH though.  He has stuck in his mind that we are going to need bottles urgently at 3am in the morning and all the stores will be closed, or baby will urgently need a pacifier and he'll have to run to the store to get one in a mad hurry on a sunday and then rush it back to me.  Honestly!  When is something like that, that much of an emergency?

I can't think of how needing a pacifier would ever be an emergency.  The same goes for bottles.  You'll have time to get these things if you need them.

What I think is MUCH more important to plan (which I did not with my first and regretted it later) is to read up on all the common questions asked by first time moms who are breastfeeding (kellymom.com) - things like knowing how to count wet/poopy diapers, understanding clusterfeeding, knowing that breastfed babies rarely, if ever get constipated, and that it is okay for them to poop infrequently (at 4 weeks my son got into a normal pattern of pooping about once a week or even longer!) and establish a support chain for breastfeeding help if you need it. 

Breastfeeding was not easy for me.  Line up a good lactation consultant and friends or people who will support you.   When my nipples were so sore I wondered how they would ever heal (they did!), when he wanted to nurse ALL the time and I thought something was wrong (it wasn't), and when I realized I had a bit of a low supply, I had to do a lot of research and leg work to get the answers I needed.  DS self-weaned at age 3, so it was worth it in the end but I could see how the experiences I had might have led to someone giving up without the right resources. It honestly took me about 6-8 weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding.

Don't feel bad for being different or feel pressured into doing something you don't want.  Let your motherly instincts take over.  They will. ;)

[JMJ]

Originally Posted by Alenushka 

I had bottles. And nipples. And pacfiers.

I do not buy this entire no bottle, nipple confusion thing.  I was not not going to be with my baby 24/7. I had to finish a college course. My education was one of the best gifts I gave my kids.

So, I had pump and pumped milk when needed.

There is nothing wrong with pacifiers. Nipple are not made of steel. Mine bled and cracked despite good latch. I have a sensitive kin. So, 8 hours of comfort nursing was out of the question.

Pacifier also reduce risk of SIDS.

I never use formula but I had some just in case. Reality is, small percentage of women never makes enough milk.

For mothers returning to work or school, it's obvious that you'd want to pump and bottle feed some of the time.  It's a good decision made with a clear head.  I don't know of any baby who was introduced to a bottle after breastfeeding was going reasonably well who didn't become adept at switching back and forth between bottle and breast, though statistically, it's still associated with earlier weaning.  In most cases, though, this isn't a problem because the mother is ready to wean by that time as well.

However, for some babies, especially if an artificial nipple is introduced early or in the midst of breastfeeding problems, it can either extend the breastfeeding problems, or in a few cases, the baby chooses the bottle over the breast.  This is more likely to happen to the baby who was having difficulties removing milk from the breast.  Additionally, the baby has to learn how to suck on multiple objects, and it can take a little time to get used to doing this.  In the meantime, the baby may attempt to latch onto its mother's breast more like it latches on to a bottle or pacifier, causing pain and nipple damage to the mother.

Pacifiers do reduce the risk of SIDS, and so does breastfeeding and cosleeping.

[UrbanMamma]

I have both (3 bottles and 2 pacifiers for newborns) in the house.  

For my first, I didn't have either (well, besides the bottles that came with my breast pump - but I didn't have nipples for those) with the logic that I didn't want them to be a temptation.  And if I recall, the run to the store for a pacifier was a middle of the night run.  I had a high sucking needs baby and (what would later be documented as) oversupply.  By 2 weeks old, he was screaming at me in the middle of the night because - can you believe it - if he sucked, milk came out!!!  He had already gained back his birth weight plus another pound, I was exhausted and in tears as this had been going on into the wee hours of morning for 2 nights by that point, he was overtired and overstimulated, my nipples were becoming raw again even though they had recovered from the initial shock of the first few days, and it was obvious he needed to suck.  I felt desperate (literally - looking back, it was the first telling signs of mild PPD) and DH was sent out at about 11pm in the rain for a pacifier.  Low and behold, 5 minutes after daddy came home, everyone was peacefully sleeping.  I never thought I'd be a pacifier mom, but with my oversupply issues, it was a lifesaver.

We will not be doing that again.  I have pacifiers here in case I run into the oversupply issue again.  Bottles I really just keep around because I do teach university part-time and will eventually introduce a bottle.  I waited until 6 weeks last time for bottles and babe was not happy, so I will likely go closer to 4 weeks this time if nursing is going well.

I do not keep formula in the house as I cannot imagine why that would be needed as an emergency.  If there is a supply or weight gain issue, I'd likely be calling a LC and going through a several days/week process before going to formula.

[amberskyfire]

Stash what you think you'll need and not what you don't.

FWIW, with my first baby, I was completely against bottles and pacifiers. I didn't want them in my home at ALL and didn't get any. As it turns out, my daughter ended up being a car screamer. It was horrifying. She would start to choke, suffocate and turn purple she was crying so hard. I ended up getting a couple of "emergency" pacifiers, but had to actually make it to the store to get them first. Now I say definitely get one or two different kinds just in case of emergency. You just never know. You don't have to use it unless there's a serious issue and even though my daughter ended up rejecting them, they (the solid silicone type) ended up being perfect teethers for when she got a little older and she was happy gnawing them for hours. They can do double duty!

As for bottles, I won't be buying them this time either, but I did get a pump last time. I had several friends that had to be hospitalized or get emergency dental work done when they were breastfeeding and had to pump and dump. I wanted to be prepared for an emergency, so I went ahead and got a small hand pump. In the evenings, I would pump a little milk right before bed which I would then freeze and save for emergency use later. I never did have a medical emergency that would require me to have saved breastmilk on hand, but it felt so good just knowing it was in my freezer just in case. What you don't use, you can donate. I have a close friend with ulcerative colitis and I'll be donating my leftover emergency milk stash to her this time around to treat her condition.

[3timesamom]

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. If it makes you feel better I have not one binky in my house. I do have a single four ounce bottle. It is from babies older brother however. So I am really ghetto because its an OLD nipple;) 

In Africa I don't see one single woman running around gather binky's and bottles. Just saying;)

All that said, I relactated for my daughter in 02. I had thought that I didn't want to nurse AT ALL. In the end I did want to and she was having allergies and vomiting blood from the formula. So by the time she was 7 weeks I could pump her ONE bottle a day for daycare. By the time she was 12 weeks she was nursing from the breast. So while I realize nipple confusion is real. I also think it can be overcome.