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Help! Boy Names (warning: neurotically long) - Page 2

post #21 of 24
Thread Starter 

Thank you all so much for the feedback. It's been great to see that everyone says Aksel - because I have been having real misgivings about it. DH and I have about talked it to death. And I finally realized what's going on with it... I'm not really afraid that other people will mispronounce it... it's me that's mispronouncing it. Not out loud, but in my head, all I can hear in my head when I read the name is Askel. 


My dad has terrible, debilitating dyslexia and grew up in an age where special ed and learning disabilities did not exist... and the consequences on his self esteem are permanent. He didn't even want to have children with my mother because he thought he would be passing on "bad genes." Well, I turned out to be an advanced reader (I have a degree in Literature, for heaven's sake) but only recently have I reflected that some word and letter combinations give me trouble. Like when I was 6 or 7, I always read the word "prohibited" as "phorbited" and later, "euphemism" as "euphism". When I got my graduate degree in Education and took special ed. classes, I realized I probably have some really minor dyslexia that I've naturally compensated for my whole life. So I read the word in my head, and hear what I hear, but once I've heard the correct version I compensate and I say it the right way. But I don't read it in my head the right way - in my head it's always wrong. Like a social coping mechanism, not a learned coping mechanism.


Anyway, I've never even told anyone any of this, but Aksel has been giving me PROBLEMS! I've even typed it Askel multiple times in this posting and had to go back and fix it. So finally when DH and I were talking about it (I've been pushing for Axel, he really likes Aksel) all this dyslexia stuff came tumbling out and I'm just so embarrassed, I started crying. I mean it's a freakin' 5 letter word here people! And he was just being so dismissive (before I broke down, not after) saying things that made it sound like only an idiot wouldn't be able to see that it's Aksel, not Askel. Which makes me feel like an idiot, because I say it wrong in my head every time! So yeah, emotional crying fit followed. crap.gif


Anyway, so he and I think we are going with Axel and not Askel. But it did really help that you all liked the other, because it really pushed me to examine what's going on in my head. Which, these days, isn't a whole lot! dizzy.gif


ETA: I just re-read this post and noticed I did it again in the last paragraph! I'm going to leave that there as evidence against myself. Ugh. oops.gif

post #22 of 24

((hugs)) Axel is a totally fine way to spell it! :)

post #23 of 24
Originally Posted by Veritaserum View Post

((hugs)) Axel is a totally fine way to spell it! smile.gif

Ditto all that! No reason to have to constantly think of all that as you say, think and spell your son's name.
post #24 of 24

Don't worry, you're not the only one.  I had to read it over six times to figure out how you were getting "Axel" out of "Askel".  Mixing up letters isn't all that uncommon.  Anyone who practices speed reading is likely to do it too because they don't read the whole word, the just interpret it based on the letters in that word and a quick scan of the page.  I'm also sure it's not uncommon for someone to read "ask" in that word because you almost expect it to be there, just because that's how our language is wired.


I get the same thing all the time with my daughter.  Her name is Corde.  There's supposed to be that little accent on the "e" but it never got there on the birth certificate and it's easier to type it without it there.  Anyhow, accent or no, no one pronounces it right.  I tell them, think of a French cafe (with the accent).  It's pronounced cor-DAY.  However, even with constant reminders of pronunciation she keeps being called "Cord" or "Cordie" (which I personally can't stand because I didn't name her after Buffy/Angel and it's not short for Cordelia).  I get the same thing with my son's name, Aris.  For some reason people keep thinking it's pronounced like iris, which leads to a lot more problems given he's got long hair and everyone already thinks he's a girl.  Thankfully, on the name thing the Aris thing isn't so much of a problem because he's decided his name is Beekee.


So, totally, go with whatever works better to spell because it's not just you that's going to have to correct people.  It gets really old having to repeat the name over and over to get people to say it right, and some people still won't do it.  That's one of the reasons I pointed it out with the name Jan too.  We've had to deal with that a good deal with my youngest, Jules.  He's named after Jules Verne, and everyone knows he was a man.  However, everyone thinks he's a girl by his name.  This is why we use his middle name instead.


And for the record, that's why I like Axel better.  It may not be my favorite off your name list, but at least it's something I won't have to be embarrassed about misreading!

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