Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 72

[indie1976]

oh, bebe, what a beautiful sight!!!!!! i think i would be so giddy i wouldn't know what to do with myself!!

skj - you are next up to see a heartbeat! i totally feel for you right now. as much as i can't wait to see a bfp - i know that time frame between the first positive test and the ultrasound will be torture... i think it's great reassurance that the nurse says you are a-ok! and how wonderful that you have been on progesterone before the bfp! phew! i also think your frers look just as they should!!

toothfairy - thank you so much for the information! i am going to call my pcp next week to see if they can do the testing. i'm so excited for your vacation (though i will miss you terribly)!! hoping that bfn turns into a bfp so this can be a celebratory vacation! but if not... have fuuuuuuuun!!!

shell - thanks for "getting me"! and hooray for feeling happy! love that feeling  keep us up-to-minute updated... i think this could by your month!!

tammy - welcome!! hoping clomid is just what you need to get you your bfp! 

greenmum - so glad your numbers are looking good! i guess actually you will be the next with a sonogram and then skj!

sherry - check in, lady!

chrissy - thanks for your support... i really appreciate it!

afm - thanks to those of you who weighed in on my dilemma. you have no idea how much i appreciated that. i talked with dh last night and it turns out i was mistaken about the financing stipulations (phew!) and so we are not on as tight of a timeframe as i thought. so i called today to make the switch to the new doc. i was feeling really good about everything until the doctor's office told me that it will take a week to get both docs to sign off on the switch and at that point they will call me to make the appointment.  so knowing how (not) awesome their track record is for responding to requests... i'm again worried that i'm going to fall through the cracks. i think i need to turn my meditations into visualizing that i will have a cooperative, nice, easy to deal with experience with this switch and new doc. i just don't understand why everything is so complicated. i was hoping i would have my appointment scheduled and then could just forget about everything for a while. now i will have to stay on top of them to make sure everything happens that needs to happen. grrrrrr.

so, anyway,  it looks like i possibly won't be starting IVF until January. and i'm ok with that. as much as i want to not waste time and as much as i want to just get this show on the road... i need to feel confident in my provider. i'm going to allow myself as much researching and obsessing as i need to do up until the appointment is schedule with the new doctor. then at that point, i have decided i need to just do a let go and let god kind of thing... i'm trying to turn my attention to all the things i do have control over (since i feel so completely powerless right now) so i am working on designing my own protocol made up of all the things that research has shown to improve IVF outcomes. i started by emailing my husband the article toothfairy told us about with avocados and olive oil... and wouldn't you know... he picked up a bunch of avocados at the store on the way home from work. i love that man.

[SKJ2011]

bebe - What an amazing sight! Just so incredible. I'm so beyond happy for you. And thanks for the reassurances

Indie - That's for being able to relate to my fear. I was doing so well until the b/w results yesterday.

Seriously! your RE's office is a piece of work. WTF?? I think you are doing the right thing on switching though. And, in the meantime, you can get together all your questions so you can answers at your first appointment with the new guy. I'm hopeful that your letting go of things turns into a BFP before January. The stress they are adding to your situation is just so unfair.

Your DH is amazing. I love that he bought you avocados. I started eating more of them after TF sent that article around.

AFM - After all my freaking out, I went and did my Circle + Bloom first trimester meditation. I'm working from home. After it was over, I fell asleep for an hour and a half - oops! I'm having basically no symptoms except a lot of digestive upset. It may just be anxiety. The last few days, I've had intermittent breast pain, but nothing today. Other than my stomach situation and being tired, I feel normal. I'm doing my best to trust this is going to work. Every time I do the meditation, I have this vision of my baby (boy) telling me everything is fine. I hope he's right This pregnancy is nothing like the last two I've had.

[indie1976]

skj - i love the image of your baby boy telling you everything is fine :) how is the c+b first trimester meditation? what's it like? i think it's a good sign that you fell asleep after! sounds like it put your mind at ease! thanks for listening to my ranting about the RE office. if only i lived somewhere where there were more options. the only other office in town that even submits data to SART - the online reviews of the doctor (it's only one) are AWFUL. so i guess that's why it adds to my anxiety... i feel like i'm out of options. but i do feel good about switching docs and i so hope for the same thing you said... that letting go of this doctor office nonsense will bring me a bfp...

btw - my new doc is a women. thanks to gtree's advice :)

another afm.... i think i've been asked a couple of times what cd i'm on and i keep forgetting to put in that part... i'm cd15... not sure what dpo i am or if i even ovulated this cycle. my cm pattern was very much out of the norm this cycle. usually i go from creamy to wet to ewcm pre-o but this time i had ewcm on cd7 then sticky and then ewcm when in vegas. i recall toothfairy saying that having sticky at that time in your cycle means something not-so-great. never had that before. i'm now back to sticky/creamy. if i did ovulate, i think it was sometime on cd12 or 13. who knows. it's weird not knowing though...

[AGreenMum10]

Oh Bebe that is beautiful!!!!! Love it!! How many weeks are you?

Skj- those are nice pee sticks!!

Thank you for comforting me shit my numbers.... It still freaks me out that I'm not sick yet.... Boobs still hurt!! 5 weeks 2days today, u/s at 6 weeks 2 days next week....

Happy testing and "making hot coffee" ladies Xoxo

[SKJ2011]

Indie - Ooh nice on the woman doc! I have a good feeling for you. I honestly think that letting go and surrendering to all this nonsense is what helped me the most. And, it sounds like you are doing that. I think it's great that you don't know what CD you are on or if/when you O'ed. My CM this month wasn't great, and look where it got me Also, look at what you said about bebe's and my acupuncturist telling us this cycle is a no go. There is no such thing. Stranger things have happened. I think the strange cycles are when we let our guards down and that's when the magic can happen. I don't want to sound like one of those people who says, "relax and then you'll get pregnant", b/c I know all of us have tried that and it didn't work. I guess what I'm saying is, don't ever count yourself out if things don't seem like they are going according to plan b/c no one really knows why this whole baby making thing works sometimes and doesn't others.

As for the other docs office, I feel like you aren't going to even need to think about that. You'll get all your questions answered by your new doc, and that will hopefully put your mind at ease. did you read any reviews on this lady? Also, I think it's really important that you advocate for yourself. I wrote a while back that I went into my RE with a whole slew of questions and he answered each one. None of them were answered how I wanted them to be, but his answers made me feel confident that he knew what he was doing. For example, the whole endo thing. he said, maybe I do have endo, but it's not affecting things. I had wanted a lap, but his answer was so convincing, that I just trusted him. Anyways, long winded reply, but just saying that I think you are moving in the right direction.

As for the C + B meditation, there is one for each trimester. It's obviously generic, but is very similar to the natural cycle one. It starts with relaxation - energy field, counting down from 10. Then, I think there is a bit about the baby. It's funny how at this point, I couldn't tell you what she's saying. It does say something about the baby being able to hear now. I'm not sure that's true just yet, but I do like the meditation. I have also heard good things about this one (it's free!) http://www.healthjourneys.com/kaiser/healthyPregnancy_flash.asp

I've been trying to find one specifically for getting pregnant again after m/c. No luck yet.

[bebelove]

Indie, thank you! I am giddy, and will be even more so when the day is over and I can wave goodbye to these fools for the weekend! ;) My mom is so happy too -- we are going to dinner tonight. I am so excited you will be seeing a new RE! That's great, and I bet you are going to feel so much better. Now you can research, and feeling fully confident when you do IVF, and not be plagued withthose doubts about being with the wrong RE. Your DH is so cute for bringing home avocados! What a gem :) I'm hoping you O'd in Vegas and then can use the term "VEGAS BABY" all the time.

SKJ, thank you! Oh I really should do that Circle + Bloom meditation, too! I could use some zen, especially when I get into my own head a little much. I do feel better having had the sono today, but still . . . I just want it so much that it's hard not to allow those fears to creep in. When do you have a sonogram?

Greenmum, thank you! I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow. How are you? U/S next week, yay!!!

AFM, ladies, I am exhausted. I didn't sleep well last night so I'm sure that's to blame, but man, I am dragging myself around here like a sleepwalker!

Can't wait to go home after dinner with my parents and maybe crawl right into bed! My back is killing me too today, and my breasts are quite sore. My acupuncturist had me laying on my stomach last night, which I did not like at all, so I'm not doing that again.  I think I'm going to continue seeing her weekly until after the 1st trimester. What do you think? Then maybe every two weeks or monthly after that? I think it will help, but it's seriously getting expensive.

[toothfairy2be]

Bebe- so nice to see that photo!!

Skj- im going to get the IVF c+b when i get home. I hope it is as good as your 1st trimester one.

Indie- i think you made the right move. It sucks to have to make the choice to wait another month but it is for the right reasons. I love that he bought avocados. That is super sweet. Come on vegas baby! I wouldn't worry about your cm, you just never knw!

Shell- crossing fingers for you!

Afm- okay, im logging off til next sunday. I'll be thinking of you ladies! Didnt test again but not feelin it. Doing fine though, so ready for vacation.

[MindlessChrissy]

Tooth - Enjoy your vacation! We'll miss you!

Bebe - Wow! Love, love, love the sono.

Indie - Glad you've made a decision and you're feeling happy with it.

[Shell77]

where is everyone? How is everyone doing.?? SOOOO QUIET

[indie1976]

Roll Call!

How are the preggos doing this morning??

SKJ - how are you feeling? Did you get your second beta back?

Bebe - did you get some sleep this weekend?

Greenmum - how are you feeling?

Gtree - do you have a belly yet??

Shell - what dpo/dpiui are you? When are you testing?

Sherry - did you have a "successful" weekend? :)

TF - hope she's enjoying the caribbean! 

Devilish?

Tammy? 

[indie1976]

oops! can't leave out chrissy! where are you at in your cycle, girl?

[SKJ2011]

Indie - What's happening on your front? Any plans to test?

TF - Hope you are having an amazing vacation!

bebe - Sorry (and happy) that you are feeling so crappy. As for acupuncture, my acupuncturist wants me to come in weekly through the first trimester, and then I'm "done".

AFM - Had my blood draw this am. I did not respond well to the numbers I got last week, so I asked my nurse to not tell me the actual numbers, just if things are good or bad. I got myself into such a tizzy on Thursday and Friday. I was able to calm down after doing the meditation and have been very zen all weekend. I'm trying to just trust my body and be ok with whatever happens. I'd rather my body figure out if something isn't right now than later. But, I'm not feeling pessimistic either. Just going with the flow. I''ll let you know when I hear my results. If all is well, I go again on Wednesday for another beta.

[bebelove]

Good morning, everyone!

I am exhausted. Like can't move exhausted. I did something I never do this weekend: nothing. I literally laid around the house like a zombie. DH was so good and did everything. I did get out for a couple errands here and there, but they were short little jaunts, and then I was back on the couch. Being at work this morning is hard! I had such insomnia last night too . . . which is becoming a regular thing. I'm also quite nauseous. Trying to stay in a state of gratitude for my symptoms. Being at work is hard.

Shell, I second Indie's question -- when are you testing?!

SKJ, sending you lots of positive thoughts for "good" numbers! It's so easy for me to get into a tizzy too, so I completely understand. Please update when you know!

Indie, what's the word? :)

Hope everyone had a nice weekend!!

[indie1976]

skj - i just know you are going to have good numbers!!! and i am so happy to hear you are feeling zen right now. i think it is a great move that if your nurse tells you the numbers are good that you have a follow up beta on Wednesday. i just started typing out my negative experience but thankfully i just thought better of it and deleted it! this is going to go very well for you, i can just feel it!

bebe - hooray for exhaustion and nausea! :) i'm sure that is a really crummy thing to experience at work but i'm so happy to hear you are feeling exactly what you are supposed to be feeling!

afm - so after more thinking and calculating... it looks like i actually won't be going through IVF until February. We have a family cruise that is scheduled to take place in January that would be right during the time I am stimming/doing egg retrieval... it's with dh's family and it would be a really bad idea to miss it for several reasons. the good news is that by waiting until february, it looks like we should be able to pay cash for everything which makes me feel like 100% better. i feel really at peace with this though i know it's going to be a little tough to feel like i'm being "left behind" as everyone else will have their bfps before me... but february just feels right on all accounts and having things "feel right" is so crazy important to me.

[SKJ2011]

Indie - I'm 100% with you on needing for things to feel right. I think the plan sounds perfect. And, the cruise will help you relax and distract you, which will be good. And, feeling good about the financial side of things is going to help loads too! I seriously think all of this stress being taken off might result in your BFP before February. And, if not, you have a plan in place. The stress of IF is so detrimental, but impossible to avoid.

Thanks for your good feelings. I'm feeling ok about things too. I just did the free meditation that I mentioned and really liked it. Yay for meditation! Why didn't I do it sooner?

Bebe - yay for all the symptoms showing up! I hope to join you in a few weeks. Have you figured out your due date yet?

AFM - Just twiddling my thumbs waiting for the call. Will let you know when I hear.

[indie1976]

thanks for the vote of confidence, skj :)

i am keeping a non-stop positive beta thought for you all day today. waiting on pins and needles for the good news!!

[SKJ2011]

Still no call. I'm starting to get worried. I have this belief that they do the positive results calls before the negative ones. The suspense is killing me. Not zen anymore.

[indie1976]

oh, ski  they could just as easily do negative calls first, so they can end on a positive note. there is no reason to think your numbers won't come back great. your hcg was great and your progesterone did not reflect the support from crinone.

[SKJ2011]

They finally called! Everything looks "great" and I'm to keep on with the crinone twice a day. Repeat beta on Wednesday. Phew........

[indie1976]

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!