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Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 73

post #1441 of 2219
Thank goodness I work at a botanic garden and I could wander around the prairie while my brain thought of all the possible outcomes.

Indie - Thanks for your support through this torturous couple of hours. I started to convince myself that I wasn't tired anymore. The mind can be such a fickle friend.
post #1442 of 2219

Hi wave.gif


Indie: Oh I wish I  could pay off IVF by February !! That is AWESOME!! if I am not Preggo this go around then it is onto IVF for us and that means financing it ... which freaks me out cause what if it doesn't work and I am stuck paying a monthly reminder ?? I am still paying off student loans (which stinks at my age) ... But we must do what we must do and FAST!!! I am so excited for you... at least you get the holidays to relax and enjoy some wine :-)


Bebe: Oh I bet working just sucks horribly!! I know you already don't like your boss , then being tired and nauseated on top of all that!!!? UGH  I am sorry ... But at least you have the constant reminder that your growing a beautiful baby :-)


SKJ : YAAAAAY for good numbers!!! I know I am going to be racked with nerves as well!!.


TF: Hope your enjoying Holiday :-)


Sherry: how are you???


Tammy? any news?


Chrissy ? what DPO are you ??


Devilish: How is is going?


Greenmum : How are you feeling? any symptoms?


Gtree: How are the twin boys? can you feel them move yet?


AFM: I am 10 dpo / dpiui today.... I had a slight temp drop today and cramping and my breast started hurting yesterday .... So looks like AF is on the way :-( .... I plan on testing Wednesday with a Frer and blood test is Friday... hmmm Symptoms are : breast swollen and tender, a little nauseated , tired , cramping, ... all signs of pregnancy OR AF ... UGH I hate it !!! I am really thinking this just did not work either :-(  looks like we will be doing IVF ( which I am totally dreading with every ounce of me) I guess I will know wednesday .

DH doesn't want me to test till friday... so i am not telling him I am testing wednesday LOL .. I am off work Wednesdays and fridays anyway so i think those are perfect testing day's, If it's good news then I can plan a huge surprize, if bad news then I can cry while I am all alone.

post #1443 of 2219

Indie - Even though it's not until February, I'm glad the time feels right for you!!


SKJ - Yay for great numbers! When will you get a u/s?


Bebe - So sorry you're so tired. It'll pass come the 2nd trimester!


Gtree, Sherry, Tammy, Devilish, GreenMum - How are things with you ladies?!


Shell - Holding out hope for you!!


Afm - I'm only at cd17 but not feeling positive this month. We bd'ed on cd12 and 14 but missed 16 and bd'ing today looks like it's out of the question. Ah well. I'm thinking Mother Nature is having ideas as to what's going on as I'm having major perimenopause symptoms.

post #1444 of 2219

Another Temp drop today into the 97's :-( Looks like I will be moving on to IVF .... So distraught

post #1445 of 2219

shell - don't despair just yet. i remember bebe having a temp drop and that day got her bfp. and wasn't she 11dpo? hmmmm. i totally get where you are coming from with the financial side of things. we have hefty student loans which we put in deferment until we get past this IF stuff. otherwise we'd have to be financing as well. there is just no easy way to go about this without insurance support.


chrissy - i know your last pregnancy was a chemical but do you think it may have screwed with your hormones? are you doing anything to help regulate hormones... like acupuncture, herbs, supplements, etc? all I know is that my one miscarriage screwed up my hormones majorly and it took forever to regulate. i was just sure i was going into menopause. i think some of our bodies are just more easily thrown off kilter than others...


skj - hope you had a nice, peaceful sleep last night. good news has a way of putting the mind at ease like nothing else!


afm - nothing new here today. cd 19. still not sure about dpo. no typical lp symptoms for me other than (tmi) vaginal itch a day or two ago. that always seems to happen mid-luteal phase for some reason... anyone else experience that? other than that, no sore breasts, nada.

post #1446 of 2219
Shell - I agree with Indie. Check out my chart http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/SKJ2011 I also had some downward trending temps right when I got my BFP. It scared me enough to temp one more time. That temp was taken after getting up to get my thermometer from the bathroom where I hid it from myself smile.gif


Indie - I think i kinda know what you are talking about. Almost like the feeling you may be getting a yeast infection? But then it goes away. I'm sure it's a hormone thing.

Chrissy - I agree with what Indie said. After my m/c, my hcg took FOREVER to come back down. And, my acupuncturist talked to me about how it can really take a toll on your body when you have a m/c. I honestly think my whole IF problem is due to be recovering after DD and then after my m/c. Some women just seem to have an easier time getting back to "normal", while others have a much harder/longer time. I'm hoping that is all it is. I also think that acupuncture can do a lot of regulating hormones and holding off menopause. I've read numerous accounts of women who were in their 40's and on the verge of menopause get pg after doing acupuncture and herbs. Anyways, just thinking good thoughts for you and hoping that your cycle is just a little off kilter.

AFM - Man, I felt awful last night. I think I got too hungry. I had a bad headache and just general yuckiness feeling. Today, I'm feeling pretty much fine. I had to do another meditation to fall asleep last night. Have been having insomnia. And, I've been having crazy vivid dreams that involve packing. Typically, I'm packing and either can't fit everything or end up missing my flight. It's a stress dream for sure. I looked it up and it seems as though it represents trying to do too much in my waking life and feeling like things are uncertain. No surprise there. Other than that, going to vote this morning and try to keep busy at work to avoid thinking about my beta tomorrow smile.gif Not sure when my u/s will be. I guess I'll know more tomorrow.
Edited by SKJ2011 - 10/23/12 at 8:50am
post #1447 of 2219

Indie, I think IVF in February just feels right too, and here's why. First, it's after the holidays, and your stress will likely be less. Second, as you mentioned, you can pay in full! Such a blessing. Third, you can enjoy the cruise and really let loose! Finally, you have several months to just relax about things because you have a plan, which really takes off the pressure. From personal experience, this is when one gets their BFP! :) Yes, it is nice to have symptoms, even if it's not nice to have symptoms. ;) By the way, glad to hear that I'm not the only ones with heafty student loans, which I also have in deferment currently! As for the itch, I would get the same thing every month. Hormones! Gotta love 'em.


SKJ, yay for good numbers!!! I believe my due date is June 15th, 2013. :) You?? Working at a botanical garden sounds heavenly! Sorry you weren't feeling well last night! So I also have been having such insomnia too, which is not at all helping me to get through my very busy work days.  At what point in pregnancy does that insomnia calm down? I am getting that Circle + Bloom meditation tonight!


Shell, I also started having temp drops, so I stopped testing!! Really, don't put too much weight on the temps . . . hang in there!! Just remember, at 11DPO I still had a BFN!


Chrissy, remember how bad my BD timing was before I got my BFP? How we skipped two days in a row (which was the only time we had done that throughout the month?). Don't lose faith!


AFM, I told a friend last night that I am pregnant, which was fun but scary. She took me out for my birthday, and of course I wasn't drinking, and I just wanted to tell her anyway. She started crying she was so happy. She knows what a struggle it's been. She is going to pray for me, which is nice. Always scary to say it out loud though! I have my first OB appt on Friday - scary, too! Trying to keep thinking positive thoughts. :) Excited to hear from the OB all the next steps!

post #1448 of 2219



i got a call from nurse #2 of my old RE saying that nurse #1 asked her to give me a call to "go over the ivf protocol". she says: "my first question is whether or not you will doing another IUI cycle or are you going straight to IVF?"




at this point i say: "actually, i have put in a request to change doctors". she says: "oh, who will you be seeing?". i tell her and she says: "keep in mind that you will be seeing all of the doctors through your IVF cycle". i then tell her the reasons why i am switching that, in addtion to other issues,  i had called two and half weeks ago with a very specific question about protocols and now, two and half weeks later, it sounds like that question still hasn't been addressed. i tell her how disappointed i am.


she says: "well, best of luck".


that's it.




that's all she had to say.


my god. please let this other doctor and her nurses be better than this. please.  

post #1449 of 2219

Indie -  Being only cd19 means things are still early for you, right? When do you think you might test?


Shell - I agree with everyone about not worrying over the temp drop. Hang in there.


SKJ - I'd say good luck for your beta but I already know it's going to be terrific! Oh my I remember having vivid dreams. Some of them would make me so mad at dh I'd yell at him when I woke up. LOL


Bebe - I'm happy you have such a wonderful and supportive friend!


AFM - I'll just throw this all here. lol After my major loss early this year my cycles have been total off kilter. Usually af would arrive between cd28 and cd31. Now I can't say when it'll come as now it's anywhere before, during, or after that time frame. I've also been having headaches that I can't explain and now hot flashes that are so bad I think an ice bath sounds heavenly. No acupuncture or anything like that as the nearest place is close to 2 hours away. I take daily pills for my MTHFR but that's it. That consists of folic acid, baby aspirin, b6, b12, and prenatal. I'm also on Zoloft but I've been on that for awhile. Was Paxil but since we're trying again I switched to Zoloft. As a side note, we did bd late last night but I think I won't have a + until my 3rd cycle or so after that chemical. Never seems to fail, I m/c and don't get pg for 3 - 4 cycles.


ETA - OMG Indie! What a bitch. I hope the new doc and her staff are way more supportive then that buncha crap.

post #1450 of 2219
Indie - Seriously!!! WTF is right. I'm so beyond frustrated for you. Some people are clearly in the wrong profession. I hope, hope, hope that the new doc and her nurses are better than these idiots. And, I can't believe she totally dismissed your complaint! I really hope that you get your BFP before needing to deal with IVF b/c this place is adding so much stress. They don't deserve you.

bebe - yay for telling your friend! I've only told one friend and my MIL. With the m/c, I couldn't keep my excitement to myself and told way too many people. It sucked when I had the m/c, so this time I only told a few people who I would want to know if things go awry. It's so hard with the not drinking thing. It helps that I stopped drinking months ago. so, now nobody asks smile.gif Good luck on Friday! I hope you like the OB as much as my friend did.
post #1451 of 2219

I am so tired.  I can barely make it through my work day and then go home and go to bed.  Sorry I am MIA.  Hopefully this 2nd trimester will bring the energy I've heard of.


Indie - So glad you are switching docs and nurses.  I do not like those morons that you had to deal with.  I think these next few months will be so pleasant knowing Feb will be ivf (if you still need it by then).


Bebe - Love the picture!!!  So cute, that bebe. 


SKJ - So glad your numbers were good.


I wish I was with Toothfairy getting sun kissed on a tropical island.  Everything is going well.  Today I think I just look fat and not pregnant, but I did eat a slice of pizza in the cafeteria while I was waiting on them to make my sandwhich.  haha.  I told people at work and am going home to Alabama in 2 weeks to tell everyone there.  I am seriously posting from work right now because I don't think I will have the energy to do it when I get home.

post #1452 of 2219

Indie, this is absurd. Who are these people? Wow. Here's hoping the next doc and nursing staff are much, much improved!! I really don't see how they could be worse!


Chrissy, hang in there . . . I'm hoping your cycle mellows out before 3-4 months. Maybe you could do a consult over the phone with an acupuncturist/herbalist, who could at least give you herbs?


SKJ, I hear you -- I am so scared to tell people! So far I've told my DH (obvi, haha), my mom and step-dad, my best friend and now this friend. Of course I want to shout it from the rooftops, but am downright terrified. Will you wait until 12 weeks to tell anyone else? Thanks again for the OB referral -- excited!


Gtree, hi!! Oh I am so tired too . . . does the fatigue get worse as the weeks progress? Do you have some days where you have more energy, or is it just pure exhaustion everyday? So when did you start telling people? That's great that you are going home in 2 weeks to share the news!! I also wish I was on a gorgeous island soaking up the sun. Ahh . . . to dream. ;) I'm also starving right now and would possible kill someone for a slice of pizza.

post #1453 of 2219

chrissy - i'm not going to test. there's just no reason for me to think i would get pregnant this month out of all the months and i'm terrible when it comes to testing... once i poas... i can't stop. i think i spent $60 of frers a cycle or two ago. lame. i forget that you had a significant loss earlier this year... that was before you joined us. i really don't think you are looking at perimenopause... i think it's "just" (yeah, right... just) hormonal upheaval from the miscarriages. i wonder if at some point you could make the long trip to an acupuncturist and get them to hook you up with some herbs. maybe do a long distance consult type of thing?


skj - you are the only other person i've "met" who took a long time for hcg to go down after a m/c. it was a full 30 days before i stopped getting positive hpts. looking forward to hearing more great news from you today!!


gtree - i am tired just reading your post! you poor thing. working while exhausted is so tough. i guess it's a prelude to working after the babies are born... i personally am a huge fan of sleep. being exhausted all the time and still having to function is a big fear of mine. but i guess you just adjust... how exciting about telling people! yay for looking fat... that means the bump is on it's way :)


bebe - how fun that you are getting to share your news! i'm kind of opposite of everyone... i was petrified of telling people last time but now after all this time i think i might have to put a muzzle on my mouth to not share it with everyone the second we get a bfp.


afm - thanks to you all for commiserating with me about my RE's office. it's just so unreal. i'm so tired of hearing myself complain about it. i just wish i could get some kind of acknowledgment or retribution... it kills me that they could care less and it kills me that i truly don't have any better options. in other news, i'm now 4 lbs away from my target weight. i'm feeling really good and now that the weather is getting nicer, dh and i are taking the dogs on all these wonderful long walks. this weekend i need to get the house in order for the halloween trick-or-treating party i'm hosting for all the little ones in my family (and their parents, of course). i'm really excited about seeing them all dressed up in their costumes...


chrissy and skj - are your little ones going trick or treating or dressing up? if so, as what?

post #1454 of 2219

Hi ya'll.......... well I am not pregnant i had a Ugly glaring 1 line BFP this morning and my temp just keeps dropping, also I have pink and brown stained spotting... so i am stopping the progesterone tonight. I AM SO FRUSTERATED!!! It was so easy to get pregnant when i was younger... before that stupid mirena iud ( I really think that messed me up) ANYWAY ... I called my RE and we scheduled a appointment for next thursday Nov 1st for our IVF consult and plan! so after that meeting I guess I will find out exactly how much i will need then go get baby financing :-/


on another note : can I just say that i am so worn out!! after 15 months of trying and getting that BFN every cycle!!! I am dissappointed in myself and I have gained a lot of weight, my skin looks horrible and i feel miserable!!! I feel like I just want to give up and say screw it all and lets spend that money by going to Italy!! or buying a new car!! or getting my boobs re-done!! ... But i will ALWAYS wonder "what if" If I don't at least try IVF once!!


Forgive my negativity... I am just sad I guess... And i am trying to put on a brave face for everyone, but inside I am crushed and feel like my heart just cannot take another NO!! I am ready for my YES!!

post #1455 of 2219

Indie, great job on getting so close to your target weight!! Long walks sounds divine . . . I need more long walks in my life. We used to do a lot of them when we were on the east coast, but less so here in the west for some reason. Maybe we need to do some long beach walks. :) Your party sounds so fun, and so cute!!


So I'm needing your opinions . . .


The OB that SKJ referred me to, who is awesome (or at least I think will be awesome due to his natural birthing philosophies) has hospital priviledges at a hospital with a great reputation for un-medicated childbirth and low-intervention rates (and is designated as a "baby friendly hospital" - only one of three that has this distinction in our area). However, the hospital does not have private recovery rooms. From what I've read the rooms are a bit dated, small, and on top of that you are likely sharing it with a roomie. Not really so good when you've just had a baby, your husband is trying to stay there too (no cots, just chairs - um, what?) and someone else's baby is crying all night. I'm really torn, because the hospital with the nicer facilities and private rooms has terrible intervention and C-section rates (one of the highest in our county). So damn, what to do?


ETA: Shell,  so sorry, honey. :( My heart hurts for you! Allow yourself to be all kinds of mad, sad and disappointed, and then chin up and get ready for IVF! This is going to work for you! You might even get twinsies out of the deal!!!!

post #1456 of 2219
Numbers didn't double. Going in again on Friday, but things aren't looking good.

Also, today is my due date from the m/c.
post #1457 of 2219

how many hours between your betas? was it close? i refuse to believe this isn't going to work out for you. they are supposed to double every 48 to 72 hours, right?

post #1458 of 2219
The nurse said that the numbers rose, but not as much as they would have liked. They said to remain optimistic and come back in on Friday. I emailed her just now for the specific numbers.
post #1459 of 2219

I am sort of freaking out . . . I went to the bathroom earlier and there was the tiniest little ball of gummy CM that was slightly tinged brown. I came home for lunch, and there is nothing on the toilet paper, but I did a CM check with my finger (TMI, sorry!) and there was a larger gummy bit of CM that was much more true brown. Oh my gosh, I am just freaking out. I know Gtree had some spotting for 6 weeks or so, but I don't know. I am also really cold, which my acupuncturist tells me is a sign that I need to slow down if that happens. The two together do not seem good.

post #1460 of 2219

shell - i'm so sorry. i so know what you mean about being worn down. it's so tiring. the anticipation, the disappointment, the drugs... i know you are feeling pressed for time but have you thought about giving yourself a month or two or three to recover before moving on to IVF? give yourself a little bit a time to lose a couple of pounds (i know that has done wonders for my state of mind), get yourself together mentally and physically for ivf, you know... step off the roller coaster for just a bit? i swear i'm not saying this just because i want a february cycle buddy ;-) but i do know that it has helped me tremendously to think about relaxing and enjoying myself through the holidays and having some time to prepare mentally and physically for the next step... hug2.gif


bebe - i would totally go with the hospital with the great reputation. the goal is to get home as soon as possible after childbirth, anyway, right? i know that it sounds awful to share a room (it really does, by the way) but it sounds to me that the other hospital fits with your overall values and philosophy?

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