Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 77

[bebelove]

Indie, I'm sorry about this last cycle and your disappointment. :( Were you charting this cycle? If so, would you share your chart? I think a new acupuncture and herbal regimen for the next four months is a terrific idea! That's exactly what I did (switched acupuncturists and took a break until we were going to take the leap to IVF). I would also agree to ditch the DHEA for awhile. Particularly when you do herbs, my acupuncturist things it's smart to only do what's absolutely necessary, because she believes they compete with each other and then lessen the effects of the herbs (or any of the supplements for that matter). I was down to very little while taking herbs. Hang in there, girl.

TF, so happy you had a great time in St. Croix! Do tell more about the chemical pregnancy??? I'm so sorry about your cancelled cycle -- I can only imagine your disappointment right now. I think I'd take a break too, rather than two months of BCPs.

SKJ, how's your back feeling? My OB appt with ok . . . I think I might have caught him on a weird day perhaps . . . I was seen 45 minutes late, and then he left me in the room for another 20 minutes before doing my U/S, and then was really casual about the whole thing. I liked him, but I didn't feel like it was very personal at all, and for all that waiting, I didn't have any time to ask questions. I dunno. His wife (who does front office) and his nurse were super nice. Hard to say what the right thing to do is . . . I think I'm going to check out the only other OB in my area that promotes unmedicated birthing, and then make a decision. He was also really strange when I asked him about doing the new blood test to look for chromosomal abnormalities rather than amnio or CVS. He knew almost nothing about it, and made me feel a little bit weird for asking? Sometimes that happens when docs think that as an NP I just think I know everything and am being pushy or something, but DOs are usually much cooler. Anyway, I'm just rambling now . . .

I'm glad you are feeling a smidge better about things, and no matter what I am just hoping that you get a quick closure to this and can move forward. You'll get the other beta results tomorrow, right?

AFM, pretty much gave my OB update in my post above to SKJ, but in really good news, it was so nice to have an U/S again, and things are measuring right on schedule (I'm 7w1d today). We even heard the heartbeat for a few seconds! I'll post a pic of the sono when DH scans it.  Hope you all have a good week! Can't believe it's here again.

[toothfairy2be]

I just have a feeling this cyst will not be gone by next month and we wont actually start anything until january if I dont do the BCPs but at least without it I have a chance. Also who is to say I would take the bcps and it still wouldn't be enough so then ill have 3 dead months. As far as the chemical pregnancy goes. I only brought 1 test strip so I couldn't test and test and test. On Saturday during our flight down I got a sharp pain in my uterus and that night had a little pink on my TP, then when i used my progesterone applicator there was brown blood on it. Sunday morning I had no more spotting. By sunday night my nipples were sore, like felt like they were chafed, almost burning. That continued through monday with some light cramping. Then Tuesday I woke up and felt nothing, nothing at all. I took a Test Wednesay morning, nothing. Got my period Friday, heavier and more clottty than normal (also had  a 15 day LP- 2 days longer than my normal 13 day LP). Just sucks...

[MindlessChrissy]

Tooth - Glad you had a wonderful and that you're back. I'm sorry about the cm, though.

SKJ - I am so sorry for what you're going through. I never ever want to see you say this again "I just wish I could get pregnant faster if I'm going to have multiple losses" I can understand the thoughts but can tell you that in reality, it f*cking sucks.

Bebe - Yay for a good ob appointment. And super yay for seeing your bump!

Indie, Sherry, GreenMum, Ms. D, Tammy, Devilish, and anyone else I forgot -

Everyone in the path of Sandy please stay safe!

AFM - I really have nothing. Just waiting to test on Halloween. Oh and waiting on Sandy.

Edited by MindlessChrissy - 10/28/12 at 7:28pm

[devilish]

MindlessChrissy

[SKJ2011]

Sorry Chrissy. I didn't mean to hurt you with my statement. I'm so inspired by your determination. When I first got the bad news both times, my first reaction was to not try again, ever. I can only imagine what you have been through. I hope both of us get pg with our take home babies ASAP. I'm just dreading a long road and another loss at the end of it. I think I just need to get that thought out of my head.

[indie1976]

skj - thinking of you today. please keep us posted. so hoping for a pleasant surprise... but if not, then a speedy resolution. 

[SKJ2011]

Thanks indie. I have no symptoms, so hoping number is dropping.

[MindlessChrissy]

Skj - Honey, I totally understand. After my very first loss I just wanted to quit. I wasn't so much hurt by that but just wanted you to know that's not a thought to have. Hell, my thoughts usually go along the limes of "if all I'm going to do is lose it, then why get pg at all". And it's not determination, my mom says It's stubborn pigheadedness. LOL. Many many hugs to you today.

[SKJ2011]

Thanks Chrissy. I get you. We have no choice but to keep going forward. Man, seriously, without you ladies, I don't know what I'd do.

So, I think I'll know my fate by 1 or so. Just abot 2 hours to go. I just had a nice long talk with my business partner. He has 2 kids, perfectly spaced to his desire. But, he was totally understanding and sensitive about my situation. It's funny, I've gotten support in the most unlikely of places and total lack of support from some "so called" friends.

[SKJ2011]

Drumroll....

Numbers are down. I'm weirdly excited about that. So, it went from 373 to 280. I'm to stop the crinone tonight and then go in again on Wednesday to see if the numbers are still dropping. It's likely not ectopic since the numbers are going down. The nurse is going to see if the RE is going to want to do other testing to see what this happened. I'm supposed to go out of town for work next week, and given my body's difficult time with hcg dropping last m/c, I'm worried of having the actual bleeding while traveling. Joy!

[MindlessChrissy]

skj

[toothfairy2be]

SKJ- i'm glad you have answers but sad it turned out this way. I hope it passes quickly & you are moving on to success again soon.

AFM- my doctor called me personally today. I really am very impressed with this office. I have 17 simple cysts 1.2-1.7cm, and 2 complex cysts 1.5 & 3.5 cm. hoping & praying they will resolve by the end of this cycle. He said my ovaries look like I'm already on stims for IVF-- except that all these eggs are old & decrepit (my words, not his). We can still try on our own this month but no meds. I 'm only CD 4 & I'm already hoping for a short cycle.

Sandy is blowing all our leaves around. The wind is fierce. I had to work 7-1 today. I'm glad I'm home now & safe.

[indie1976]

skj - totally understand the "weirdly excited" part. sounds like you have made peace with the situation. i'm sorry you have to go through this again. i hope things resolve quickly and with minimal discomfort. 

toothfairy - shut up. he called you? he CALLED you. i'm so jealous. i'm pretty much convinced that florida is the worst place to be if you are dealing with infertility. your situation has me curious if i have cysts on my ovaries after self-medicating. :/ guess it's a good thing i have several months of no medication before ivf just to make sure... so it sounds like you decided to not do bcps this cycle? how are you feeling about the whole waiting til january thing? i was actually relieved to not be going through ivf during december. the thought of being on all that medication during the hubbub of the holidays and then the potential of getting a bfn over christmas seemed like too much to take on. i've always found the beginning of the year to give me a magical new start sort of feeling. by doing ivf in the beginning months of 2013 that means we get our babies that very same year. somehow it doesn't seem as long of a wait. we are going to have lil' pumpkins! (oct and november babies!) hoping you have a safe and uneventful sandy experience.

chrissy - it does f*cking suck. i'm also impressed by your "pigheadedness" :) you also be careful with sandy!

bebe - can't wait to see the new u/s pic! thanks for weighing in on my situation. i have decided to cut out dhea altogether for now. still keeping up with the coq10. i haven't charted in forever so i don't have anything to share as far as that goes. 

afm - i really feel like i have some sort of estrogen dominance going on... i'm just more headachey, tired, etc than i usually am. and then with my breasts being super sore even though i wasn't on medication... maybe this is all due to an anovulatory cycle? i have an appointment with my pcp on thursday to get thyroid checked out. still trying to figure out what to do about acupuncture. there are a ton of places around town but the only one that really advertises hardcore for infertility stuff is the one i had been going to... and i never left there feeling hopeful. i'm thinking i might just pick a place close to me and walk in and ask questions... my husband booked us a weekend on the beach during my next fertile window (well, my fertile window as long as my body cooperates, that is...) he's much more hopeful than i am that we can still pull this off before we get to ivf. i'm just excited to go to the beach and get some good, non-interrupted by our four animals, sex :) 

[SKJ2011]

Indie - yay for beach trip sex! Oh the little things in life. As for the estrogen dominance, I think I had that before my first m/c. I had LOTS of CM all cycle. So, I cut out all parabens from my personal care products - shampoo, makeup, etc. It's in EVERYTHING. I think it made a huge difference.

As fror acupuncture, I also went to a fertility specific acupuncture place, and while I did get pg (first m/c) after 4 months of treatment, I'm not convinced they helped me much. The new place I'm going to is not fertility specific, but I firmly believe that the herbs and her calming ways and advice were the difference last month. So, I would find a place with good yelp reviews or something like that. Just see what they have to say.

I just might be on the same schedule with you and TF after all. I'm hoping that three months of recovery + acupuncture will lead to a 2013 baby. I was really excited about another summer baby, but I would love an October baby to take away all the bad crap that has happened this month.

TF - That is really amazing that your doctor called to talk with you about stuff. Just awesome to have that attentiveness. I'm hoping for a short cysts-removing cycle for you.

[bebelove]

Just wanted to say hi to everyone . . . having a tough day at work (mostly because I feel so crappy and just seeing my boss or hearing her whiney little voice makes me angry), but thinking of all of you, which makes me happy! SKJ, glad things are moving in the right direction for the circumstance and that it doesn't seem to be ectopic - phew! Big, huge hugs!!

Hope all my east coast friends are hunkered down all comfy and warm in your homes! Other friends are telling me how crazy it's getting . . . in a weird way I wish I was there. I loved snow days and staying home while the weather was awful outside. It's such an excuse to just be cuddly and relaxed! Be safe! xo

[indie1976]

 bebe! 

sorry you are having a rough day :( hope it gets better!!

[indie1976]

skj - thanks for the idea about using yelp to track down an acupuncturist! totally didn't think of that... great idea. i've been looking them up ever since...

since it seems like there are several of us waiting to get our babies for one reason or another we should figure out our own preparation ritual to get us mentally/emotionally/spiritually ready! i'm not sure what it would look like but i'm thinking we can each research and propose different activities to get us in the right head space for new year babies... what do you guys think?

[MindlessChrissy]

A quick drive by afm - worried about dh. He had to work today and everywhere is closing down but his job. He also is supposed to go in tomorrow and now the State Highway Admin has lowered the speed limit to 45mph so I have no clue how long he'll be before he gets home. Gah I hate his workplace. The hurricane could be knocking on the damn door and they still would have to work. I already called to tell him about the speed limit and that I'm not letting him work tomorrow. Asshole laughed at me. (sorry about language)

[SKJ2011]

indie - love, love, love that idea. I walked past the onsie that we bought in argentina and I gave it a little kiss and said, 'I'll see you soon little boy." It feels so much better thinking positively about the future. I am going to try my hardest not to let this setback bring me down. I'll brain storm some ideas.

One thing I can offer is journaling. I've read that it can be more helpful than one on one counseling. I think I'm going to try to write out my feelings every day and also make a note of what I'm grateful for.

Things that I have a hard time dealing with:
- being jealous of others who are pregnant, especially those who get pregnant easily
- worrying about the spacing between DD and #2
- worrying that my SIL will get pg with #2 before I will even though she just started trying
- feeling like a failure for having a body that is letting me down

I think my preparation for baby will involve letting go of these feelings. I'd like to find a more concrete way of working through them and am open to suggestions.

[SKJ2011]

Chrissy - sorry about the stupid hurricane and DH's stupid work! I'll be thinking safe thoughts for him. I'd be feeling the exact same way as you.