Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 81

[toothfairy2be]

+ OPK!!!!

[bebelove]

TF, BD time!!! Time to get the egg! :)

Chrissy, hugs to you!!

Finally adding my sonogram from 10/26. As of yesterday, baby is the size of a raspberry!

[Shell77]

Sherry : Yaaay for a granbaby!!! I love the story I felt like I was right there with you hahaha

TF: time to get that bun in the oven!! so to speak lol

Bebe: awwwwww What a beautiful little rasberry!! I have a feeling its a girl... I don't know why, just a feeling! :-)

Indie: how are you doing?

SKJ: how are things progressing ? I said a prayer for you the other night... I am so sorry you have to go through another loss :-(

Chrissy: How are you feeling? I say it aint over till af arrives!!

Gtree : how are the boy's?  So did you have the gentic testing done? what was your protocol?

AFM: I am on the EPP and Antagonist Protocol... I am on the estrace 2 mg twice a day... I go in Friday for my nurse teaching and they are doing a Hysterscopy ( to check my uterus) and a mock transfer ( so he can mark where the embryos need to go) .. then I think we are waiting till af arrives before starting all my meds... I am also doing ICSI and assisted egg hatching .... I am going to wait and see how many eggs I have ... But I plan on putting back 3 Minimum ... my RE said as you get older risk of multiples are rare... I still am hoping for twins lol ... I will be taking Dexemethasone , Follistim, Menopur, antagonist.... baby asprin and progesterone shots after egg transfer.... ET should be Dec 6th :-)  I should know how many we are pregnant with by Dec 20th .... Just in time to wrap up a bunch of baby onesies for Christmas!! My RE gave me a 40 % chance with my own eggs... 80 % if i used a donor... but that is like a extra 20,000.00  .... I feel like this is going to work IT HAS TOO!! so its about a 6 week process... I am so excited :-) OH and he said i can drink wine till Nov 27th lol ... i probably wont unless i REALLY feel like a glass will help me de-stress.... I am starting acupuntcure again next week also... I can't stress out about this!!

[sherryvhkb]

[sherryvhkb]

tf- GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! get him

Shell- how exciting to be starting

MChrissy- hugs.....more hugs....

Bebe- i agree with Shell- for some reason i think girl...

so we are 3 pregnant

3 ivf in the wings

2 losses...

and...???

afm- cd 29- temp drop, bfn,.....awaiting af ....going to home depot to trade in leftover hardwood for concrete sealer...and it's cold and gray and I miss DH horribly...and he is out of gas for the car...and i think I might have post partum depression....

[indie1976]

chrissy - i'm so so sorry. i'm holding out hope that you just had super diluted pee and that this is not another chemical. that just sucks too much. i'm curious about your conversation with dh and what the two of you decided... it just seems a shame to not get this figured out... you obviously can get pregnant and with awe-inspiring regularity... i just can't help but think there is something that could be tweaked and you would get that take home baby #2.

sherry - what a beautiful little boy!!! gah. so much jealousy going on over here! i wanna squeeze him. that must be so tough to be away from dh so much. sounds like he is having a tough time back in the city. i just can't believe all the madness this storm has caused! seriously, what is up with our missing O's and regular cycles? i'm so done with trying to figure it out...

toothfairy - go time! you must be so excited! what a neat feeling to be that much closer to your little bambino. you asked what religion i was raised as... i was raised as christian, though i didn't have a regular practice/church attendance until the 6th grade when my parents joined the seventh-day adventist church. at that time i moved to church school and the church became a very big part of my life through college years. i have mostly good memories and while sda's don't do much by ways of rituals (most protestants don't, i guess) i did have the ritual of keeping sabbath which had its own benefits. i moved away from organized religion as a whole in my mid 20's... it just seems like every religion is preoccupied with how they are right and others are wrong and i find it all a lot ridiculous when you are talking about things that we have no empirical proof of... i guess now i consider myself more of a universalist. i believe there is something greater than each of us as individuals but i don't necessarily subscribe to that something greater as being a personified diety. it could be. or it could be energy, or collective consciousness... i find i'm much more at peace not trying to define "it" but rather tap into "it" in anyway i can. i guess that's why i love rituals... i feel they are a great way to tap into that something greater rather than spending time trying to define it. if any of that makes sense!

shell - i'm so freaking excited for you!! you are doing the protocol i WANT to be doing... eeek!!! you're gonna be pregnant soon!!

skj - how are you doing? have you completed the m/c or in process still? i think you asked how far along i was... i had a blighted ovum (so no fetal pole developed... just the sac) i was about 8 or 9 weeks along when i had the d&c but the sac only measured up to 6 weeks. when i initially took the medication to miscarry (can't remember the name) i had super intense cramps that lasted for just a few minutes and occured an hour or two after taking my first dose. that was on a friday. after taking the medication all weekend nothing had happened by monday and that's when i decided i just needed to get it over with. even after the d&c i got positive hpts for a full 30 days. i was totally not prepared for that and even had a time where i thought i had gotten pregnant again (cruel joke). i think it's cool that you get to participate in some jewish high holidays. i think relating to religion is definitely different as an adult. dh and i do not plan to raise our children under any particular religious label. i'm not sure how that will play out exactly in the practical sense... i want our children to have a healthy sense of wonder and spiritual connection but every time you get too far into any one particular set of beliefs... ugh. how are you and your dh raising your dd?

gtree- still thinking of you!

bebe - love, love, love your little raspberry! can't wait til you get your doppler... i want to hear all about it!

afm - cd 5. it's easy to keep track when your cycle lines up with the first day of the month. left a message with the RE office this morning to check on the progress of switching docs and getting an appt with the new doc. i was told it would take a week. it's now been two. of course. we'll see how long it takes to get a call back.

the prayer service this weekend was lovely. other than that we had a nice, relaxing weekend. looking forward to seeing updates from everyone!

[indie1976]

IVF consult with new doctor is scheduled for December 14. it's her last appointment of the year. i guess it was a good thing i didn't wait for them to call me like i was told to!

we will go to the mandatory IVF info session on November 14 to make sure that requirement is out of the way.

so, anyway. progress. i guess.

[SKJ2011]

Chrissy - Thinking of you this morning. Hope you have some more information on what is going on. Glad to hear you had a good talk with DH. I did read an article about some women being "super fertile". It basically said that some women with multiple losses get pregnant much more frequently than other women b/c the fertile women's bodies don't screen out bad eggs, or something like that. Anyways, I am so sorry this is happening to you. It's just an awful roller coaster and so unfair.

Sherry - Congratulations!!! He's is beautiful. What an amazingly perfect birth story too. Just so happy for you and your family!

bebe - I LOVE your raspberry! So sweet.

TF - Yay for a +OPK! Hope you had a very fun weekend.

Shell - Thanks. That means a lot. I'm so excited that you are already started! And, sounds like you are doing the perfect protocol! Hooray!

Indie - Glad you have a date scheduled. Annoyed that the office sucks! Hoping the actual RE is better than the office staff.

Thanks for sharing your m/c experience. Yeah, I had a long, slow road to -HPT with my D&C. I wasn't expecting that either. I"m also on CD 5 - well, if you count the m/c as my period.

AFM - Thanks for all the well wishes ladies. I'm on day 5 of bleeding. It's like the faucet is just barely on. It's never been heavy, just continuous. Super annoying. I had a talk with DH about where to go from here. He thinks that our success was due to my WAY reduced level of stress and that medicated cycles are really stressful for me b/c I get my hopes so high. So, he thinks we should take a break from the RE for a bit. I'm in agreement with him, but I'm scared I'm going to be hurting my chances by waiting. I'm also scared I'll be the last one here

I'm so tired of all this. I was so happy to be pg so I could stop TTC. It's so emotionally exhausting. I just don't know how to keep going forward. But, I know I have no choice if I want to have another child. I know you all understand.

[sherryvhkb]

Ugh super faint line on this mornings frer....6 hours later...i left it out and saw it by mistake...just used my last cheapy bfn and af feels any moment...life is taunting me....

[indie1976]

oh sherry! was the frer intact or had you taken it apart? if it is intact then i'm gonna get all crazy excited... if you took it apart... well, i've been there. it seems lines show up when exposed to air... do you have any opks to pee on? that's how skj got her heads up that she was knocked up! eek!

skj - i totally get you. that was my first thought that went along with a sinking feeling when i realized we would not be moving forward with IVF until february - i was going to be the last one here. but the decision over all still felt right and i'm now feeling less sad about that possibility... it sounds like the decision to wait on further intervention is the right one for you.

glad the bleeding hasn't been awful but hoping it lets up soon.

[Shell77]

OMG Sherry !! I would be sooooooo excited with even a faint line!!! take more take more !! post pics

[sherryvhkb]

In tact....ichecked it for a full half hour this morning then just left it lying and went to toss it now and saw a line....i feel soooo af ish....and the semi cheapy was as negative as can be...i guess time will tell...

[bebelove]

Shell, that's funny that you think it's a girl! DH and I both think it's a boy, and while we will be thrilled with either, it would be fun to have a girl first (I have all this girl stuff I've bought over the years -- that probably ensured we'll get a boy). Obviously, a boy would be amazing. Just give me a happy, healthy baby! What an exciting protocol and I love that you have started all of this and will soon have your BFP!! Keep us posted about every step of the way!

Sherry, buy another FRER.  Keep us updated.  Grandson is so perfect! What a miracle. It must be so lovely to cuddle up to him. I was at a birthday party over the weekend for a friend's 2-year old son, and she also has a 3-month old girl, and she was just the snuggliest little thing. I held her for the longest time. That's so funny that you think we're having a girl, too! I'm sorry you are feeling so down :( I wish I could come right over and I could give you a big hug and we could share a pot of tea and just talk through all our feelings. When will you see DH next? I'm sure that will help so much. It's been hard for you, I know. I'm sending you lots of love. xoxo

Indie, hi! I can't wait to get a doppler too, although I suppose if I had one now it might be a little too early to hear at 8 weeks (they heard it with pelvic U/S before). I'm so nervous about the whole thing today (after doing well over the weekend) that waiting an entire week for my next U/S just feels like torture. On the upside, I felt terrible all weekend (that's weird to say as an upside, but you know what I mean). That was comforting, and exhausting. I'm so glad you have your RE appt scheduled!! Let's get this party started!

SKJ, glad the bleeding isn't terrible. I really understand how you're feeling . . . it's so hard to TTC with IF, especially when it seems like no one else around you is struggling (I remember one week in particular where I literally had 5 friends/acquaintances tell me they were pregnant back-to-back -- it was torture on me). I think taking a break, while scary in some ways, will do you so much good. I never wanted to take a break. I was hell-bent on moving forward month after month and willing a pregnancy to be gosh darnit! Then I had to have a break before IVF, and DH begged me to try another round of acupuncture for 3 months, and well, there you go. I say drink and eat what you want and let yourself be normal for awhile. That's what I found so hard . . . not only the disappointment of a BFN every month, but then depriving myself of the only things that made me happy. I know you will be successful -- I really, really do. I'd put money on it. You already had one child, and have been pregnant again, so you can do this. Also though, allow yourself to feel sad, angry, depressed, frustrated . . . I know when I tried to suppress my feelings I only felt worse. Feel it entirely, and then move forward. Big, huge, hugs!

AFM, nothing exciting to report. Do not want to be at work. Crawling the walls for my appt in one week. Wish I could buy an U/S machine.

Edited by bebelove - 11/5/12 at 10:36am

[MindlessChrissy]

TF - hope you and dh got it on!1

Bebe - What a gorgeous raspberry.

Shell - So happy you finally have a protocol in place. It will work!

Sherry - Your grandson is adorable. Are you gonna test in the am?

Indie - Yay for an appointment. It is a good thing you didn't wait for a call back.

SKJ - You've nailed what I have had on my mind. In order to have another kiddo we have to keep trying but get so tired and frustrated with trying and losses. It's an awful cycle.

AFM - No af yet but cheapie test came back bfn so I guess it's a matter of time. Dh's input is "We never thought we'd have ds and yet here he is. If we have another, great! But if we don't, I'm perfectly happy. The choice is yours as to what you want to do as you're the one who knows what you go through". So that's his stand on all this mess. So I honestly don't know where to go from here.

[sherryvhkb]

[MindlessChrissy]

Is that your test from earlier or now?! Cause I sees a line!!!!!!

[toothfairy2be]

Holy Crap Sherry! I see it, but I can't tell if it is pink or grey. Is that a new test or the one that sat out?

SKJ- I'm glad the bleeding hasn't been too bad. I totally get your emotional exhaustion. Thats where a lot of my ranting post came from, TTC gets sucky really fast and even more so when you add m/c to the mix. You will never be the last one here. We stick together.

indie- You will only be about 4 weeks behind me. No biggie. Is AF heading out yet? How many months have you been unmedicted now? SO glad to hear you got an appt before the winter break. Whew! They seem to be pretty terrible with communication there. It is a good thing you keep on top of them because I'm so passive they'd just walk over me. Interesting about your upbringing. Religion is an interesting thing. Sometimes just having faith in something  is faith enough. I didn't know protestants didn't have a lot of rituals. Don't they do a big thing for Baptism? I went back to Church this week after being away for 2, I think it is the longest I haven't gone.

Shell- I can't wait to follow your progress. Of course I am super sad that I'm not going along with you but you will be a good leader.

Chrissy- You are an inspiration that you continue to carry on through all you have been through. It is such a hard decision because of course you love your son and are happy with only him but when you've committed to trying to have more children it is hard to let go of hoping for another miracle.

bebe- Hate being bored at work. Thanksgiving can't come soon enough!

AFM- + OPK last night and this morning, it was negative tonight (not super light but not dark anymore). Anyway our bases are covered. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. I had actual EWCM for 4 days for the first time since January 2011. Seriously, I haven't had real EWCM in almost 2 years ago (I took vitex Dec 2010 and it screwed me up big time). Although I didn't get pregnant back then when I had EWCM so it isn't like I'm expecting a miracle. It is just nice to know that somehow my body still works even without meds. I'm not sure whether to still take my progesterone or if it will effect the cysts. I should call my nurse tomorrow to ask. Off to bed. Happy Election Day tomorrow. I'll just be glad when it is over!

[bebelove]

Sherry, that looks totally positive! Is that old or new test???

[MindlessChrissy]

So wrong to leave us hanging, Sherry! LOL Going to bed but I expect an answer come morning. G'night ladies.

[sherryvhkb]

Oh jeeze sorry that was the found it later....temp drop still and super cramping...so i'm not testing but isnt that a tease of a frer