Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 86

[SKJ2011]

Oh man, Indie. I'm so sorry. You have had some sh*tluck with the medical world lately. Man, I would be so pissed!

That's scary about the heart disease, but I suppose it's good to know about so you can do something about it. Can I ask what prompted you to go to your PCP to get tested? And, what happens now that you are homozygous for mthfr? Do you need a special folic acid? as much as all this has sucked lately, I'm even more positive that knowing about all these things will mean that IVF is a complete success!

[indie1976]

toothfairy was the impetus for going to my pcp. hearing about how her RE tested for thyroid antibodies and mine hadn't made me suspicious? paranoid? so i figured i would try to get as much done thru my pcp as possible. the doc wanted to do a full blood workup since it had been awhile since i had a proper physical. i didn't even know that mthfr was a part if that but interestingly enough, thyroid and mthfr both play a role in cardiovacular issues so i guess on some level it is all related and it screws with fertility too. yay!

no clue what all of it means exactly since i didn't get to talk to the doc but you better believe i will be a googling maniac when i get back home... whih of course means i'll probably be a posting maniac too

oh! hooray for teenage worthy ewcm! let's put a baby in you, stat!

[SKJ2011]

Gotcha. I did a little googling and it seems to be controversial in terms of treatment. I hope your new RE is on board with treating you b/c it seems like it can't hurt, just may not help.

I've had a blood clot before and I'm starting to wonder if there is something that could be contributing to my miscarriages. I emailed my OB to see what he has to say. I hate that we have to do all this work ourselves.

We should get honorary MDs after this is all said and done.

[gtree]

Indie - you have got to be kidding me.  Do you want to be my ivf exchange student, come to NJ and get impregnated up here!

SKJ- I agree with you, I would personally nominate tooth fairy to become a RE.  She would be the best!

So, get this....

I WAS FIRED TODAY!!!!  Who fires a pregnant lady NOT for cause?!   I guess I'll have a lot less work stress and more time on mdc.  UPDATE !!!

[SKJ2011]

gtree - Sh*t!!!! I'm so sorry. Evil, evil people in this world. What happened? I can't believe what you've been through lately with the power out and now this. Man, I want to punch the evil mojo that's messing with all us lovely ladies.

[gtree]

SKJ - Really unreal, I got back from bereavement leave today BEREAVEMENT LEAVE!  and they hit me with that first thing.  Apparently after doing my job for 5 years and receiving a number of accolades, they have decided they need a more senior person in my position... WTF?!  ah, oh, well, now I can focus on catching up on Americas Next Top Model.

[toothfairy2be]

I wish I had time to write in to everyone (instead I got home & took a 2 hour nap). My mom is coming tomorrow & I'm supposed to be cleaning for Thanksgiving.

Indie- Soooo frustrating. Good thng you aren't on meds cuz you might have exploded! I'm glad they got the test ordered. When did they schedule you to see the doctor? The actual doctor.... Iddddiots.

Skj- go team go! Must be the month of good ewcm!

Shelly- c'mon babies. Hope you're resting after that kind of workday!

Afm- took a test wednesday, negative. Haven't tested again but not feeling it. I did come home and take that 2 hour nap but I think that was being out too late last night & working all day. I hate this part of the 2ww.

Sorry I might be sparce over the next week. I read along every day but it is hard to post. Miss you ladies!

[toothfairy2be]

Holy Sh*t gtree. That sucks. I'm so sorry. What the heeeeck.

Indie - you could ivf conceptionmoon here too. The REs are iffy but it's nearly free!

[MindlessChrissy]

Indie - So you have the c677t one? Doesn't mean much cept you'll be put on vitamins/folic acid/baby aspirin. (I have that one. The c677t). So docs feel it's no big thing and others think it is. Just depends on the doctor you get but all I've talked to said what I'm on is the normal protocol for it.

Gtree - Wow! That is beyond messed up!

Tooth - Thinking of you!

Hi everyone else. lol   I'm posting on the fly as I'm dead tired. I'll catch everyone else on Sunday. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'll be 38. DH will be 39 on Sunday. Wonder if I can birthday nookie? LMAO

[SKJ2011]

Happy birthday Chrissy!!! Hope you are having an amazing day!

AFM - I need to bitch for a second. So, I've been doing OPKs since the bleeding stopped a week and a half ago. I've been checking for fertility signs and finally, on Thursday I started to get EWCM and my cervix started to get softer. The last couple of days, the OPKs seemed like they were getting darker. Then, this morning, the OPK was nearly stark white and my cervix is feeling firmer. I haven't had a positive OPK or typical O pain, so I don't think I already O'ed. Also, my chart doesn't show that I O'ed. This has never happened. I'm feeling bummed, but trying to stay positive. Looks like we are back to the every other day BDing.

[toothfairy2be]

Happy Birthday Chrissy!!! Hope you enjoy your day & find some time to make coffee

Skj- weird... Just hope for the best I guess.

Afm- alright i have to get this off my chest bc im going crazy. Yesterday, red spotting, wipe wipe wipe, insert progesterone, less han 24 hrs since last pill so I didnt screw that up, though i did take my pill 12 hours late the dy before (forgot it when i went to work). No spotting since then (4pm yesterday). -hpt this morning hut I continue to feel just barely there cramping, mostly in my back... Like 3rd day of AF type cramps (come and go barely noticable other thn I just dont feel right ). I hate to get my hope up especially since it is more likely that AF is just trying to come early since I wasnt on any meds this month. So do I take progesterone today in case its somethng happeninglate or stop lik i'm supposed to. If it isnt anythng I want to get my ivf check asap but i dont want to screw it up if its not.that blaring negative hpt doesnt help...

[SKJ2011]

Tf - how many dpo are you?

[indie1976]

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, Chrissy (and dh, too!!) i foresee lots of birthday nookie in your future! how do i know if i have c677t? the lab report says "this patient is homozygous (T/T) for the methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) polymorphism". it doesn't give a corresponding number like the one you listed. more about that stuff in the AFM... happy day to you!!

gtree - holy crap. holy, holy crap. that sounds... like something you should fight? were you given a severance package? what an assholy thing to do! i can imagine the ever so slight joy of not going to a stressful job and being able to catch up on america's next top model, though! have you seen homeland? that's a way good time filler, too :) seriously, though. i'm so so sorry.

skj - aw man. i'm sorry for your disappearing O. i guess it is to be expected that you could have a wonky cycle post miscarriage... but i know it doesn't feel good at all to suddenly not know where you are at in your cycle. we are so used to measuring life by our cycles that it's a really disconcerting feeling to have that turned on its head. hoping things start to make sense soon. in the meantime, feel free to bitch here until it does 

toothfairy - fine. i suppose we can live with you not posting much over the next week. but i don't have to like it. enjoy time with you mom! have you tested again... i'm still holding out hope for you this cycle with the awesome ewcm and bd timing... as well as you being on the thyroid meds... you just never know...

afm - my next appt with the pcp in on the 28th. i'm not sure when it comes to the type of MTHFR but the comment section of the lab report says "Patients with homozygosity for this polymorphism are more likely to have elevated homocysteine values. Patients with high homocysteine values who are homozygous for the MTHFR polymorphism will not respond as well to folate supplementation with folic acid and consideration should be given to supplementation with the active methylfolate." it goes on to say "Consideration should be given to more aggressive treatment of other CV risk factors in patients with elevated homocysteine. Other homocysteine lowering efforts which may be beneficial include methyl folate and/or betaine supplementation". 

according to my labs my homocysteine value is in optimal range so... i guess this means i might not have anything to worry about? anyone care to help me figure the language above out? i need to do more research as far as it pertains to infertility issues since this report in on how it affects CV issues. i have already been taking baby aspirin daily ever since i watched the dvd of my surgery and heard the RE say that he was removing a "small clot" from my uterus. i figured baby aspirin couldn't hurt to add to my regime. but now i wonder if i should look into methyl folate even though my homocysteine value is good? could it hurt? or should i just wait to hear what the doc says. while it seems to be a rather common issue, it's a little freaky to read about potential birth defects and also MTHFR's relationship to various cancers and illnesses. all i know is after this lab report... i feel OLD.

in other news, my dh left a little while ago to spend the night hanging out with friends. i have the house all to myself for about 24 hours. i feel giddy! i haven't had the house to myself for this long of a stretch since before we got married! he gets it rather frequently because of me traveling for work, but this will be my first time. i was single and living on my own or with roommates for so long before settling down and the one thing i miss is being home alone to putt around and talk to myself and do whatever it is i want to do. silly right?

[indie1976]

tf - we crossed posted! yes... what dpo are you?? what hpts are you using?

[gtree]

Indie - yes, I love homeland too!  I have the MTHFR same as you, I could not get a much better explanation, but I do take 4 mg of folic acid and 1 baby aspirin every day.

[toothfairy2be]

12 dpo today... No sign of any blood, not a drop even when checking internally... Still feeling crampy. If this is it I will seriously cry. If its not it than my endo must be coming back cuz I'm uncomfortable & AF is not here. So, to progesterone or not to progesterone...

[indie1976]

tf - it's so hard for me to give advice when it comes to progesterone b/c i've never used it and am not as familiar with pros/cons. with that said... i think i would continue to take it at least for one more day and test again. if you are feeling that different then it might just be it. ohmygoodness. i really hope so. i just have a good feeling for you!

gtree - thanks for your input! is it any particular type of folic acid that you are taking?

[SKJ2011]

TF - i would stay on the progesterone until 14 DPO, just to be on the safe side. If you it in the morning, then if you get a BFN on the morning of 14 DPO, don't take that day's dose. A day or two more isn't terrible to wait (I know it sucks to have to wait at all), but getting a BFP at 12 DPO isn't terribly common, so it could just be too early. What brand HPT did you use? I so, so, so, so, so hope this is it!!!!!

AFM - I'm having a crap day. Last night, I saw that lovely other mom from daycare. Something about her makes me so angry. I know I'm projecting everything I hate about this process on to her. she didn't even say anything to me, but I was in such a bad mood after seeing her. And then the ambiguous cycle I'm having. I have EWCM, but can only find any when I'm checking my cervix, which also happened last month, so I know it doesn't mean this month is a bust. And my OPK was much darker again this afternoon. I just hate that I have a certain expectation of how things are going to go (like that I was going to O today or tomorrow) and when anything changes from that, I feel like the cycle is a bust. It's such a mind f*ck. I had therapy today and I cried. I haven't cried in a long time about IF. I totally felt like I was on the up and up in terms of not stressing out about things, but wham! - today took me back to a sad, scared place. I hate feeling not positive b/c then I feel like I'm setting myself up for this cycle to be a bust b/c I have this messed up belief that the only way I'm going to get pregnant is if we just don't care if it's going to happen and totally relax or give up. So, when I start to get emotional about things, I feel like that's going to kill my chances. It's lose lose over here in my brain.

[bebelove]

Indie, I'm way behind the posts but just had to chime in and say I can't believe those people at your RE's office and then the PCPs office to boot! Wow . . . how ridiculous! So my view of your lab report looks like good news for you, and that you don't have to worry! Of course I would be taking 4mg of folic acid a day (2mg twice daily). I still do that now.

SKJ, I'm sorry this is such a tough month, babe. IF sucks, plain and simple. I think it's such an encouraging sign that you have had such great EWCM though! I really think it's goign to happen this month and you'll have a great big O! Just keep going every other day. The month I got pregnant things were so wacky across the board, and so DH and I ended up BDing from CD10 to CD 38. Exhausting. Wacky doesn't necessary mean it won't work, but I do understand just feeling so over the whole damn thing. Feeling what you feel isn't going to change the outcome, so have your feelings! Fingers crossed for you!

Shell, aww that's sweet you had a dream about me and that it was a girl! DH and I both think it's a boy, and so does my acupuncturist (although she said her view might change over time).

Gtree, I am just blown away that you were fired while pregnant. You guys, isn't that illegal without super duper just cause?!

TF, keeping taking the progesterone, for at least another day or two!

Chrissy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFM, as always, happy it's the weekend. Work sucks. The provider office was redone at work and now all our backs face the door, along with our computer screens, so I can't really post from work anymore without risk of getting caught! I promise I'm checking on my phone though to keep up with you guys! In good news, I'm 10 weeks today. :) Going to get my Harmony blood test next week to look for any trisomies (13, 18, 21) . . . prays and good wishes are much appreciated!

[indie1976]

bebe - thank you for giving me feedback on my lab report! i am going to go to the store today and look at what is available for folic acid. and YUCK to having your computer screens visible to everyone! are they just daring people to quit now? taking away a sense of privacy is one of the worst things you can do to professionals. i can't believe you are 10 weeks!!  will definitely keep a prayerful thought for you and the blood test. i'm interested in hearing about the whole process and lab report - especially from a np's perspective. i love being able to hear all the little details so when it's my turn i won't be so in the dark. also... i was thinking the same thing about gtree's situation. she could easily make the argument that they made this sudden decision because she is pregnant. because that's exactly what it sounds like. 

skj - i think we have very similar lose-lose brains  i could have easily written the last couple of sentences of your afm. but i also know there are so many women with IF who conceived while feeling completely shitty and angry and not at all positive. i see it all the time as i stalk every IF board on the internets. personally, i'm trying to stop thinking in terms of being 'positive' and 'relaxed' and thinking more in terms about letting go of resistance. if i feel wound up and anxious and negative, i'm going to not resist it and instead fully embrace that shit. i think that's what the 'giving up' you referred to means. it's giving up trying to be or feel something we can't or don't in the moment. when we hold ourselves in resistance to whatever is in the moment is when we block progress. we (meaning a large part of the IF community) like to talk about being 'zen'. but we tend to equate being zen with being positive/happy/chill/etc. but i think 'zen' is more about just completely accepting what is. (of course, this is me talking about zen as a non-educated, non-buddhist who just loves reading buddhist stuff - had to put that disclaimer in there ) anyway, i think you are doing and feeling exactly what you are meant to be doing and feeling. and tomorrow it will be different and that is ok because that's how this stuff works. and i also think you are going to be pregnant again very, very soon. i really do.

toothfairy - i am so hoping you are testing this morning and that you have two pink lines to share with us! also, are you 100% positive of your ovulation day? could it be that you ovulated a day later?

afm - i did so much cleaning yesterday, i feel like throwing myself a party. it's amazing what i can accomplish when i'm not tempted to hang out and play with dh.