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Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 102

post #2021 of 2219
Just have a second for a quick drive by. DD keeps talking about how she's going to help me with her brother. It's weird. I told her that DH and I want to make a baby brother or sister for her but that she has to be patient. I said that she can help me then. She just confirmed for me that I'm not giving up yet.
post #2022 of 2219

TF hope you are feeling better, sorry about the headache. Ok, so what are your next steps?


Indie Hmm... info session... hope it goes well!


Shell babe, I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. I'm with Indie about self-care, and about creating a way to find some insurance coverage. No one can possibly be mad at you. Just take care of yourself my dear!


SKJ HOw are you holding up, there?


SIla here's hoping for tomorrow's temps


Lucille I'm so intrigued that you are in Nigeria! There was a little snippet about Nigeria on a radio program called "the World" that I heard today. It was about Lagos and even though it wasn't very substantive, I thought of you and found it so interesting. So much of what we hear here is negative - about the violence and ethnic tension, I'd love to  hear any little bits about what it's like in your community!


AFM, my computer is having a bad day, so I'll do it from my phone - watch out for the mistakes! Gonna restart my computer now.

post #2023 of 2219
Ok, sorry, delayed typing on the computer made this a better option! So I have had a crazy stressful busy work week so far, keeping my mind busy. Of course I have been testing (such a dork) 8dpo, of couse nothing but kinda squinters/who the heck knows. DH is trying to keep me from buying anything better than my wondfos until at least 10 dpo since I've never gotten a clear positive earlier than 11dpo. So I'm content to squint til then. smile.gif glad I'm so busy, but with real estate busy does not equal money, so I'm stretched super thin and yet needing more childcare than we can afford and pinching every penny. Like one of my phone calls I was putting off Monday, I made and it went horribly and the guy was an unprofessional a$$. He was so angry I wouldn't just pay him $75 for something he initially offered to do for free. I wanted to say I literally do not have $75 in my bank account (I mean I do but most of it is spoken for wink1.gif so, anyway, I've been feeling the pressure. But on a good note, I have an accepted offer on a listing that we almost lost (stressful nagotiations, et cetera). So, that's what I got... Wishing everyone a peaceful evening!
post #2024 of 2219
Sorry I missed sila and SKJ's posts- SKJ my dd said the same thing tonight- while I was scoping out hpt pics. (pathetic, I know) actually, more like she said when she has a little sister she'll help her get dressed. I was like, how'd you get that from those pictures? She didn't answer...

Sila, that sounds super promising!

Also, a friend of mine had her baby girl today, yup, 12/12/12! I'm really happy for her, she had a couple of miscarriages since she had her son, so I feel a little comeraderie with her. So, you know, a pinch of jealous but a pound of super happy, an wow, what a birthday!!
post #2025 of 2219

Thank you all for your support through this mess of a IVF try ... I promise I will be back to my normal TTC self soon.... I am very interested on seeing how much money i get refunded to me from my RE office , because we did not do the transfer... and to see what he thinks of other options... My MIL is going with us, She wants us to have a baby so bad... maybe she will pull some money out LOL I am teasing of course.  


 I go back to work tomorrow... UGH .

post #2026 of 2219

Hi lovely ladiesblowkiss.gif


Sila: oh I would give anything to be a nerd and see that movie, I just love everything that had to do with the Lord of the Rings movie.

Hope you make good use of your egg when it shows so am sending you tons of goodvibes.gif


Jpack: its so funny how the news always tends to carry the negative aspect of any country. Nigeria as far as testimonies from different races of the continent can tell, is a very interesting place to be in. Its full of the good, bad and the really ugly. There isnt anything like ethnic tension, we just have a group of people who are trying to make their voices heard by the government. Of course there is still a lot that has to be done before Nigeria can truly be called developed, but we are doing just fine. The real estate business in Nigeria is a fast-growing one with lots of potentials. I hope you can come visit some time.


Shell: Just like Indie and TF have said, you need to grieve with your hubby, so he can be willing to try again. If he feels the negativity so much because of this loss he may be afraid to go through it again. Please dont be hard on yourself, I am so sorry.


AFM: Waiting for O...whistling.gifI really want to track my cycle all over again and I am using OPKs. I am hoping they actually work 'cos I cannot seem to find any EWCMand my cervix seems to move around a lot. Lord my silent prayer is do not allow next year to pass us by...praying.gif DH and I have been having some arguments on what gifts to buy for our families for Christmas. I have asked him to not allow this Christmas to be a sad one for us in anyway. Lets just give them what we can afford...period. I really want to celebrate this Christmas in a very exciting way so I can take my mind off Os, EWCMs and TTC etcetera....

post #2027 of 2219
Lucille - Good luck with the OPKs! I hope you have a lovely holiday full of light and laughter.

Shell - I seriously want to get on a plane and meet you in TX and give you a huge hug. It's such a hard thing to go through and unless someone has been in your shoes, they can't understand. It's too bad people aren't better at empathizing. I know you will get through this rough time. I think it's important for you and DH to feel what you need to feel. I hope you get some answers on Monday. And, i hope you get some money back too. IVF is so scary b/c it's not a guarantee, but it feel like it should be.

Jpack - your ambiguous tests sound promising!!!!!! Funny how the little ones have a sixth sense. My DD saying what she did has made a big impact on me. See more in my AFM.
That is so freaking awesome about 12/12/12. If that's not auspicious, I'm not sure what is! So sorry work is stressful. That sucks. And, that's b/s about something free becoming $75. Not ok!
post #2028 of 2219
Sila - I hope you have a great time tonight!!! Any O news? I hope you got a temp shift so you don't have to worry about BDing. I totally hear you on the heal the problem vs. get a baby now conundrum. I was so desperate for so long and I was finally able to let go that the urgency isn't there for me any more. So, I guess I just want the path that's going to fix my problem with the most likelihood. Somehow I worry that if I do the routine next thing, I'm just going to be delaying the treatment that will really help me, if that makes sense.

I"ve been really good about my eating habits (except this week. Turns out eating a bunch of junk doesn't help you feel better, fyi wink1.gif ). My weight is normal and I exercise regularly, except when my acupuncturist tells me not to. Thanks for your thoughts on this.

Indie - Thanks for playing doc for me smile.gif I'm hoping the new doc does a full workup and can tell me why she is or isn't going to do whatever it is that she plans on doing. How was the session last night? I'm excited that your doc appoitnment is less than a week away! Finally!

TF - I hope your headache went away. You've been through the ringer lately. When do you start stims? I'm so excited for you!! Thanks for weighing in on my progesterone issues. If it means crappy egg quality, what can I do? I feel like that is a fertility death sentence. That has always been my biggest fear. DH and I are not going to do donor eggs, so I think we'd be SOL.

AFM - Had another beta this morning to confirm this is a goner. I have a glimmer of hope b/c of what DD said about helping with her baby brother. But, I feel basically no symptoms, so I'm 99% sure this is not going to end well. I feel totally numb at this point. I think the only reason we will keep trying to to give DD as sibling. I need to hear what the doctors have to say tomorrow, then we will have some tough decisions to make.
post #2029 of 2219
I'm sure you all know about this, but it totally made my day: http://www.thenicestplaceontheinter.net/
post #2030 of 2219

Hey, everyone! I've been following along, but not enough energy to post. I'm a bit under the weather and there's work. . . you know my work. I've been thinking of you guys so much, especially Shell and SKJ.


Shell, I'm really hopeful that your RE appt will go well and you will feel confident in next steps. Hopefully a lot of money refunded, too!! Hang in there, honey.


SKJ, I couldn't ever get my progesterone checked the correct way, and so I just took matters into my own hands. I would always start progesterone supplements after O was confirmed with thermal shift (200mg twice daily) and I always took a daily baby aspirin (81mg). I knew my progesterone had been low at one point, and so I just figured it wasn't going to hurt, and I actually think it really helped me to get, and stay, pregnant. I am actually just weaning off my progesterone now at 14 weeks (taking at night only until I run out). It makes me nervous to stop actually! So I really think you should have progesterone on hand from the moment you O until 14DPO and you POAS.


Indie, how was your IVF meeting?! Details please! :)


TF, how's it going? Where are you in the process now?


Sorry, I'm at work and not able to give everyone a nice little hello, but I'm thinking of you guys and hoping things start looking up with our little group. Hugs all around. xoxo


AFM, like I said - a bit under the weather with a headache, and general exhaustion. I would do anything to go home and take a nap right now. Hoping this passes quickly, because I have a lot to do this weekend with the holidays and DH's family coming into town next week. Eek!! Also, we are doing the ultrasound for official gender determination on Saturday. Let's see if it's officially a girl or boy . . . so excited. Yay! We're going to tell my dad finally this weekend (he does not live close, so wanted to wait until we could tell in person -- can't believe it's not until now!).

post #2031 of 2219
Thread Starter 
Quick post to say

Oh Shell....i am wordlessly sorry! Its not fair at all is it- and to echo! Yeah hormones! And just!!!!!!wtf???
I hope your appointment gives you some options.

Skj sorry too. Any further news?

Hi everyone else. I hope to be back soon!.
post #2032 of 2219
just dropping in to say it's a confirmed loss. HCG was down to 218 (from 228 on Monday). Looks like it's gonna be a long, slow drop this time.
post #2033 of 2219
Oh, SKJ I'm so, so sorry. You were spot on in your intuition. Your DD is going to get her sibling, but I'm so so sorry that this is not it!
post #2034 of 2219

hi my friends. it's been a crazy busy day so this will be an AAM post except to say skj, i'm sorry this looks like it's going to be a slow loss. a loss sucks bad enough but a slow one is just... yeah, i can see why you feel numb. i'm glad that your dd is giving you the strength to keep going...


afm - ivf consult last night was both boring and eye opening. boring in the sense that it was all stuff i already knew because how could you not get to the point of making this decision and have not already done all your research? it was eye opening in the sense that there were easily 125 - 150 people there! that's like, 75 couples! suddenly it became very clear as to why i feel like just a number who they would never notice if i disappeared... it's because i am just a number. seriously. just biding my time until my consult next week. work has been so busy that thankfully i haven't had much time to obsess. though i'm cd20 and started spotting today so that made me feel totally not awesome. 


sorry for the snarky post. i'm sleepy. i'll check back in tomorrow.

post #2035 of 2219

SKJ, I'm so, so sorry. You deserve your baby. I'm sorry this isn't it, but I know you will have a sibling for DD. I really think you should be on progesterone from O day (and aspirin!). I'm sending you love and hugs from California.


Indie, well I'm glad the info session is behind you and was eye-opening in at least one way. I would actually probably take comfort in seeing so many people there, but I know what you mean about realizing you actually are just a number. I wonder how to get around that in an RE practice other than spell it out to them carefully that you are looking for a personal experience, and that you would appreciate them taking in all factors. REs (and medical providers in general) have a hard time with someone well-read sometimes so hopefully you have someone secure enough to view this as an asset. I know how well you present yourself and that your research and information comes from quality sources, so hopefully your RE can recognize that you are very interested in being a partner and collaborating in your own fertility course. Anyway, I'm a little overly wordy here but since I get both sides of the "partnership" I want to help you present it as best as possible to get the personalized experience that you deserve! I'm so excited for your consult next week. :)

post #2036 of 2219

SKJ - Crap. Sorry friend. Is there anything your acupuncturist an do to speed it up? I know there are some herbs you can take ect.


Indie - Wow. I know I am also just a number at the clinic I go to, yet they really make an effort not to make you feel that way and I appreciate it so much. At the same time I like knowing I'm not the "only one" out there struggling. Sorry about the spotting. That sucks. Do you have spotting issues from endo?


Bebe - Hello fellow Californian ;)


AFM - Hobbit hangover. My temp yesterday faked me out. I've been having sharp cramping since about 10pm last night when I was waiting for the movie. Come on stubborn egg...

post #2037 of 2219
On my phone. I need help figuring out what to do. I went to the rpl doc and she wants to run every test under the sun - hurrah! Old doc wants to run a subset of tests and then do injectibles. I want to have testing by expert and have current re on hand depending on what results show.

How do I tell current doc this? He wants me to do the testing Monday so I have to say no, but I need to have my hcg checked on Monday. So awkward.
post #2038 of 2219

bebe - thanks for the thoughts on how to present myself to the new RE. also, hooray for getting to tell your dad! i'm sure he will be so excited. do you have siblings? will this be the first grandchild for your family or dh's family?


sila - yay for impending O! bebe got her bebe from a late O so you may be next in line! yes, i do find comfort in knowing that there are many others who are in the same boat as i am... the group of people were quite diverse both culturally and age-wise. i guess infertility really is non-discriminatory. i'm not sure if the spotting is due to endo or not... i have not had any endo type pain... i think i am just having anovulatory/weak ovulatory cycles... 


afm - it looks like i started spotting yesterday and am starting my period today? i have really been all screwed up since stopping ovulation meds. my cycles were nearly textbook perfect when on femara or clomid... now it seems like i'm just not ovulating at all. i think i would be freaking out if i wasn't just so tired of freaking out... but this can't be good, right? i don't feel any other kind of peri menopausal symptoms... no hot flashes or anything and overall i'm feeling pretty good health-wise and emotionally... but my body just doesn't seem to be ovulating and i'm having short cycles. of course, i don't really know how short my cycles are since i think i might have miscounted cd1. i think my AF has changed a bit and i'm used to counting cd 1 as first day of heavy flow since my spotting can be quite a bit... last AF i think i may have started a day or two prior to when i started counting. i don't know. so confusing. i'm worried that i'm just not going to respond to IVF. i'm starting to get scared.... so maybe i'm not so tired of freaking out...

post #2039 of 2219

skj - we crossed posted. can you just tell your current doc that you want to wait until after christmas to do the testing and just get the hcg tested? then once you find out what the rpl doc's testing (hurrah indeed!) results are you can decide your next steps... 

post #2040 of 2219
Thanks indie! Sorry for the annoying spotting and early period. That kind of stuff makes me crazy! I wish I had some ideas on why its happening. Like I've said a million times, the cycle I got pg with dd was all kinds of messed up, so I don't think these cycles will predict your ivf outcome. I'm so hopeful for your appt.

I will be back with more once I'm on a computer.
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