Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 107

[ducky333]

Thanks

[jpack]

I had my first visit with the RE in like 5 months, and it was totally unhelpful and left me disheartened. Bleh. I'm on hold right now with the insurance company, sorry about the quick AFM. My dr definitely doesn't know/care about luteinized unruptured follicles. Fine, she gave me the ovidrel so ok, hopefully that will fix it. But when I asked about u/s to track the follicle collapse, she said the follicle doesn't necessarily collapse and that there is no way to know whether the follicle popped. Ok, but why then why do like 40 studies and manuals describe the collapse and use that universally as the benchmark for ovulation? From the '80s to 2012? In all different kinds of studies? Even confirmed laparoscopically?
Ugh... It's just a classic case of I shouldn't research anything... A classic example of why ignorance is bliss. Ugh. Kicking my self!
Clomid + trigger this cycle, clomid iui x2, then injectables. Sorry for venting, just frustrated! All the best to everyone!

[indie1976]

sherry! i am back... though posting might be a bit sporadic between now and new year's... i will do my best, though. you sound like you are doing a very good job of seeking peace and meaning in the midst of disappointment... you are truly an inspiration. i think as 2012 is winding down we are all sort of forced to slow down and acknowledge that there is much of this journey that is just plain beyond our control. it's humbling to acknowledge and i think i have spent large amounts of time trying to avoid looking at that reality. but i'm trying to summon the courage to sit with the possibility that life has other plans for me while at the same time summon the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other. i'm feeling much more at peace this year than i was feeling last year. i wish i could say that this peace comes from a place of unwavering faith that i will get my baby in 2013 but that just isn't the case. it's just a peace that i will be alright regardless. disappointed. with lots of grieving to do. but ultimately i will be alright. i found myself able to be much more present with family this year, enjoying my little niece to death without holding back/protecting that part of myself that fears that it will never be my turn. i am very, very grateful that i was able to be more connected to everyone this year, even to my dh. i was just so overwhelmed with fear a year ago. i really think spending time with this little group has helped me immeasurably.

jpack - oh, man. i know that feeling you are describing all too well. it's almost a curse having so much information available and still having to accept having half-assed answers handed to us. i am very happy that you are getting a trigger shot. i don't think i commented on that but i thought skj hit the nail on the head about doing a trigger.

toothfairy - did you have your monitoring yet? can't wait for an update!

skj - i need to send you more details about my trip and talk about where/when to meet up! i think i will have all of my info/schedule by the 2nd. so excited!

everyone else - looking forward to more activity in 2013!

afm - 2 dpo. had great ewcm this cycle all the way up until O. wondering if it was just a better cycle or if the vitamin E made a difference? got our last bd in less than 24 hours before O. technically that should be good but i always feel like we are lacking in bd coverage due to all of you overachievers! question for you progesterone users: the RE told me to take two pills at bedtime starting the day after the lh surge. she gave me enough to take for 10 days. i know that AF is supposed to arrive after stopping pills but when exactly? if i have a 14 lp then i will be on cd2 when i am back in town for baselines (which is perfect) but if something screws up and i start earlier... ugh... just worrying about being out of town for all of cd1-3. can anyone tell me your experience?

Sherry's QOD: i haven't made any resolutions yet. still contemplating. i have thought up a little symbolic way to start the new year that i'm hoping to make a tradition with dh and anyone else who wants to join us... i'm going to get a couple of balloons and helium. i'm going to fill one balloon with strips of paper that have things that i'm grateful for in 2012 written on them. the other balloon i'm going to fill with strips of paper of everything that i hope for in 2013. and then i'm going to release them at midnight. you better believe each of you will be in those balloons. of course, it occurs to me that it might not be the most environmentally friendly thing for me to do... i wonder if there are biodegradable balloons... :)

[SilaMarila]

SKJ - How are you doing? Feeling any more balanced?I know what you mean about seeing brand new baby pictures of your LO (pictures of myself pregnant with him are even harder). Hang in there.

Indie - Florida?! We live on the opposite coast and went swimming last Christmas :) Here's to hoping you caught that egg and will get a free/cheaper baby! What is your usual lp? 14? Generally if you have a negative beta at 14dpo you stop the progesterone. Great idea for a new year tradition! Have you read any of those studies about how just writing down what you are thankful for makes people happier? So interesting.

Jpack - Ew working on Christmas. I was actually on call but the babies waited :) Your RE is on crack. My clinic ALWAYS monitors follicles with u/s. They make you come back the day after you should have ovulated to make sure all of your large follicles are gone and that you have in deed ovulated. You can definitely see on u/s! Example: I had a 25mm follicle (they check the day before too), the next day everything is under 10mm and it isn't there. Once the PA even showed me how my follicle looked all crinkly on the edges and that meant it was in the process of ovulating! So I think you are in the right.

Sherry - I haven't figured out my resolution yet. BUT I have to say I was extremely successful at my 2012 resolution which was to stop running red lights... DH and I usually have a new years eve date where we make "pounds". Which is basically looking back on the last year and setting our goals for each area of our lives for the new and then we "pound it" (fist bump? idk).

Tfairy - SO? What's the number?

AFM - 6-7dpo nothing exciting. I decided not to call in for progesterone and am doing the Chinese herbs that supposedly boost progesterone and help prevent miscarriage instead. Though it seems to be going by fast thanks to the holiday! We had a good Christmas. I thought I had avoided the boys cold but I woke up with a really scratchy throat ugh. As much as I remember too I have been praying for each of you!

[toothfairy2be]

Indie- i love your New Year idea. Not sure about biodgradable balloons but think just writing them down & saving them would be nice too. Glad that O showed up & it sounds lke a good one. As far as progesterone. Always took it 3dpo til 12dpo, vaginally. AF came usually 2 days later (giving me a 14 day lp). I hope she never shows for you. My in laws are totally different than my family but they are kind & they are caring. They like me & I like them, everyone has their quirks. My sister doesn get along with her MIL so I understand how i can be... Just sucks. Jealous of your Christmas by the pool. We had a white Christmas. Today my inlaws got 14 inches of snow (glad we came home when we did!!). We have 3 in. topped off with 12 hours of freezing rain & downpours, yippee!

Gtree- so funny about your sisters kids, they make the holiday so much more fun. Jealous you mde it to Les Mis... We are hoping to go this weekend. I've been taking 225 iu of gonal f & 5 of lupron, thats where theyre keeping me.

SKJ- Any news on the status of your hcg? Hope youre good to go for tomorrow. We are coming the 3rd week of July from Weds to Sunday.

Jpack- I had trouble up here with getting confirmation that I did ovulate too but a my old clinic. I havent needed it at our clinic yet (and wont with IVF). Sorry aboutyour insurance coverage too. Sometimes I think we dont get the same options as other states simply because of insuranc coverage, they dont recommendor do regularly things that arent covered. It is nice to have coverage, obviously, but it really does limit our options. It is good they are doing the trigger with your IUI. That may make all the difference! Is this your first trigger shot?

Sila- sorry it sounds like youre getting the boys' cold! Ugh! I hate winter for that reason. Everyone around me is sick! I'm trying to be so careful to protect myself! Glad your 2ww is going fast & wishing & praying you are our next sticky bfp. Lots of us coming up on the end of cycles.

Sherry- I admire your outlook so much. Still endlessly positive regardless of what life has in store for you. We are so lucky youre on this journey with us & for all you've shared & taught us. I'm glad you plan to stick around. I know we say this a lot but we really are lucky to have come together & it has made this whole process so much more bearable to have you all to lean on. I love your NYC pictures too, sometimes I miss that city!

Shelly- hope you enjoyed Christmas with your girls & youre back with us soon.

Bebe- pictures of cute baby things??

I wish we had a more private website so we could post pictures & things. It is funny I told DH I was going to meet SKJ while we were in Chicago & he thinks I'm weird because I don't know your name... Then it occured to me I don't know many names, understandable because we 're out there on the internet... and I'm careful with what I say or post because of anonymoity, not that if anyone knew me they wouldnt be abl to figure out from what I have said but oh well!

AFM- estrogen 609 (started getting ewcm tonight), lh 1.74, left side 2 follicles, 11 & 12 mm, right side 3 follicles, 10, 10&12mm. Go back on Saturday to be checked again. Gtree- is it normal to only have 5 follicles on day 8 of stims? I'll ask over on th IVF thread too. I just wish I knew what to expect! So far I feel good. Relaxed, comfortable, hungry (for junk unfortunately). Just ready to get this show on the road...

[toothfairy2be]

Almost forgot --- QOD- Can't say I ave any resolutions other than to be thankful, to be present & to be patient. Indie had it right in saying moreso than feeling at peace with what happens in 2013, it is knowing that no matter what happens we can handle it. So important to remember.

[gtree]

TF - Did they say how many you have under 10?  I think you will have a lot more when you go back in a couple of days, seems like they are being very  conservative to hopefully avoid OHSS.  I think I had had a similar amount at 8 days and then like 15 at 10 days. Great estrogen numbers.  This is so exciting!  So glad you feel good.

[toothfairy2be]

You make me feel so muc better. I wish there was a chart I could compare to! My acupuncturist though I'd be on only 150 iu so I thought 225 & I'd be bustng out with follicles! They didnt tell me how man nder 10 & I coudnt tell from the screen.

[SilaMarila]

Tfairy - I'm not an expert and haven't been though ivf but I've followed a lot of journeys and it sounds good to me!

As far as a place to share private things we could always start a private by invitation only not seen by the public facebook group. I don't know how else we would do it... I try to be pretty anonymous on public forums as well.

[jpack]

Oh my gosh, Sila Thank you SO much for what you said about the u/s. I seriously can not tell you how happy it made me to read that! I just felt so frustrated and un-listened-to. She made me feel so dumb and sheepish, and it's so strange when every study I've read over the last two weeks (which is really a lot) uses ultrasound confirmation of follicular collapse as the definitive indication of ovulation. To have her sit across the table and say that may or may not be an indication and progesterone is the only marker - it really frosted me! I'd totally listen if she would show me evidence or back it up, but.. anyway, it was bad. Now I feel so much better.

Indie I love that idea! I hear you on the balloons not such an ecological choice, but I think it's a great idea.

TF thanks for the support. Yes, this will be my first trigger, and I'm doing it this cycle, I don't have to wait for the IUI which won't be til next cycle. It's getting delivered tomorrow. Delivery - never had that before! The insurance is fine - it covers all but $60. I just was on hold forever trying to get a head start on the process. Bleh, the weather, hunh?! What a drag!

Sherry I really enjoy your posts and hope you're enjoying the mountain. Thanks for your insights, I am glad you're feeling some peace creeping in.

As a follow-up to my other AFM, thanks to my courage from Sila's response and you lovely ladies, I'm really excited to talk to the ultrasound tech tomorrow. I'm going to ask if anyone monitors ovulation in the clinic. If they do, I'm going to find out about switching Drs. My RE had not realized that with the other monitored clomid cycle she had not given me ovidrel. She heard me say that I was spotting days on both ends of my period for many months and proceeded to tell me that it happens from time to time and only matters if you're spotting like that cycle after cycle.

I generally feel OK about switching doctors, but I feel really badly because I recommended her to my friend IRL. I had only met the RE once, and I wanted to encourage my friend to see an RE (she's been working on #1 for over two years). So anyway, just a little guilt going on over here!

I'm kinda excited for my first trigger, and will of course solicit any advice from you all!

[toothfairy2be]

Jpack- good luck to orrow & good idea about asking the u/s tech. I like my dr there well enough but i've only met him twice. I cant say tht he really 'listened' or worked with me but when i was doing trigger/iui etc i found it so frustrating. It seems better with IVF (prob because thats hat theyre invested in). Im surprised b/c i know 2 people treated by your dr who loved her... Made me second guess my decision to stick with mine! Guess everyone has a different experience. Let us know how it goes, hope you've got a nice big follicle or 2 getting started in there!

[toothfairy2be]

Sila- that could work. I've never done it before to know how that works

[SKJ2011]

Just have a sec. Will try to catch up with more personals tomorrow

I'm reading along, but my family is in town staying with us.

Glad to hear things are going well TF.

Jpack - I hate the dismissive docs who seem to be threatened by knowledgable patients. Grr. Sorry. I like your plan though!

AFM - hcg was 1.1 today. The nurse said I should come in tomorrow for the testing so that's good. The lab I had gone to originally called to say that I owe the $600 bc they did run the second test even though I said not to. They left a message so I have to call back to try to get some sort of break.

Thinking of you all

Oh and, my name is Sarah. I like the anonymity, but at the same time, I'm ready to own this journey.

[jpack]

SKJ that's lame about the test, but if you told them not to run it, you don't owe them anything. I'm about to get all lawyerly on you, but I'll stop myself but pm me if you need any tips! I get all heated over people being bullied into paying debts they don't owe! I wish you the best with that! Good news about going in tomorrow, so close to 0!

[SKJ2011]

Jpack. I'm gonna pm you for tips later. Thanks!

[SKJ2011]

Amh is down to 0.16 from 0.46 in June. I'm crushed. Doc says that could be why I'm miscarrying. No recommendations until all test come back and I can't do them today bc of the holidays.

[SKJ2011]

Sorry to be aam. Talked to dh and we are gonna try this month since we seem to be running out of time sooner than we thought. The worst that can happen is another miscarriage. I think at this point the reason for my losses is bc of my amh and maybe also bc of another reason. I'm just gonna add baby aspirin to my regimen and hope for the best.

Also going to look into embryo adoption. Dh thinks we should push for ivf. Ugh. Things just got a lot harder.

[jpack]

SKJ I don't know much about AMH, but I'm very sorry that you are in this position. I'm behind you in trying again, I have faith that it'll work for you!

[indie1976]

skj - i'm sorry you got concerning news but for what it's worth, i'm not worried for you. i know everyone says amh is such a solid test but i have seen numerous, i mean numerous women who have had fluctuating amh and i wouldn't be surprised if you tested again in 6mths and it was higher than your first reading. my amh is .16 and i will be retesting at the start of my next cycle so we can see if this holds true for me... did they retest your fsh? both REs i've seen so far are more concerned with low amh AND high fsh rather than just low amh. low amh tells us we won't be super or even average responders to ivf meds (we will likely get just a few eggs) but fsh is what they look at for quality.... the fact that you are getting pregnant at all tells me your sticky babe is around the corner. i do think in light of this info you may want to move towards injectibles whether with ivf or iui... something to give you a chance at recruiting a stronger egg...

afm, i am thinking i will drop my dosage from 200mg of prometrium to 100mg to give me enough to last through entire lp. thoughts? w/o progesterone i tend to be between 12 -13 day lp but my worry is that at taking my last dose at 9dpo i will encourage a shorter lp and miss my baseline window...

[indie1976]

also, skj, now may be the time to start dhea as well...