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Unmarried, About to be Single, Resources?

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

Hello ladies,

I'm hoping I can get some input on my situation. 

 

I moved back to WA to be with my son's father 3 months after he was born. When I got pregnant he denied it was his and basically didn't want to have anything to do with me until we could do a paternity test. I moved from WA and eventually ended up in CA to stay with my grandmother for the last 5 months of my pregnancy... After we did the paternity test (one of those IDENTIGENE things from Wallgreens) he convinced me to move back. We made a plan to be out of his fathers house by Feb. Since then he's made it a habit to abuse alcohol, take it out on his brothers in the home, and basically drive me away. I'm done. 

 

My questions are:

Can I leave the state with our son? I grew up in Oregon and really don't want to raise my son here in Washington. I prefer a more laid back and familiar environment. How should I go about filing for child support? Do I have to stay in state to do that? Would I file in WA? Or do I get settled in OR and do it there? Do I have to file for custody? I haven't had a job in over a year; I am the primary caretaker for our son. His father works full time and gives me about $100 a month (which goes directly to his father for rent) and we trade off on purchasing formula and diapers (I also have WIC). We have no set agreements on money or visitation because he gets furious whenever I tell him that I don't want to do this anymore. 

 

I'm not a very good writer so I apologize if this sounds choppy. Please feel free to ask me any questions. 

post #2 of 6

Is the father on the birth certificate?  Unless he is on the birth certificate there is no paternity in the eyes of the court.  You are free to move about the country unless there is a court order stating otherwise.  You should be able to file for child support where ever you are currently living, however once you start child support then you will also be dealing with visitation orders at some point.

 

You should be able to find more info if you google your state and child support info.

 

If you qualify for WIC you should also qualify for food stamps, medical and possible other services.  Again google your state and those benefits.

post #3 of 6

I don't have any advice, but Good Luck!! 

post #4 of 6

Can I leave the state with our son? I grew up in Oregon and really don't want to raise my son here in Washington. I prefer a more laid back and familiar environment. How should I go about filing for child support? Do I have to stay in state to do that? Would I file in WA? Or do I get settled in OR and do it there? Do I have to file for custody? I haven't had a job in over a year; I am the primary caretaker for our son. His father works full time and gives me about $100 a month (which goes directly to his father for rent) and we trade off on purchasing formula and diapers (I also have WIC). We have no set agreements on money or visitation because he gets furious whenever I tell him that I don't want to do this anymore. 


*hugs* I hope things get better for you mama! I think you can leave WA unless you have a court order saying you can't or if he has split custody all ready arranged. Just go to DSHS and apply for services like food and TANF, they will help you file for child support too. But if you do that you will also have to deal with visitation and having to be close enough to visit him. In the long run it might be better to establish yourself in OR then visitation would be in OR (I'm guessing on this). You could apply for TANF and get some cash assistance and daycare assistance if you wanted a job. Good luck to you!

post #5 of 6
Thread Starter 

Thank you ladies for your responses. 

We have made it to Oregon and have found an awesome place to live! I did sign up for assistance and the state started a child support case, which, to no surprise aggravated my ex and he has now filed for custody/parenting time/support in WA. I have a consultation with a lawyer soon...

 

 

post #6 of 6

Congrats on your move!! but a bummer with the custody thing.  If he wants visitation, will he have to come there or would you have to take DS to him?

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