Hospital birthers-Question for you. « Back to Group Discussions

[JENinOR]

In two weeks I have my first prenatal visit with my Dr.  I'd like to ask her some questions upfront to see if she's a good fit for us. She comes highly recommended by a mom who has had four VBACS with her, naturally.  Still, the mom (an aquaintance) who recommended her to me is more open to minor intervention than I. What are the things I should discuss with this Dr. off the bat?  I'm opposed to eye treatment at birth, vitamin k (not orally though), the cord being cut prematurely (done pulsating), and I want to deliver the placenta naturally (no traction).  Those are the things that I can think of that will probably be "abnormal" requests, lol.  How should I approach this?  By the way, I don't even really want a hossy birth, lol.  But, I have some health issues that make it mostly likely that I will feel this is the best decision this time.  Thanks for your input!

Oh and a doula!  It's so weird to think of meeting with someone like twice and then having them at my birth.  I wish one of my good friends were a doula!  I think a doula is a good idea to oversee that my birth wishes are met, but it just feels so odd to have someone touching me that I hardly know, lol.  I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it, though I do see the possible need since I won't have water this time to help my fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and vulvar vestibulitis.  I have sucessfully used other comfort/pain control measures though, so I don't feel "dependent" on the water I guess, it's just so nice! 

Edited by JENinOR - 2/19/12 at 4:14pm

[amcaugusta]

I wouldn't worry about the eye ointment and vitamin k yet. As I would just put those in a no-question asked part of my birth plan under newborn care... With words like "I do not consent to...". I would most likely discuss those with a pediatrician in advance as well. As far as the birth/delivery part, I would just tell her what you expect and if she doesn't seem amiable to them, I'd find a new provider. Good luck, I have had all hospital births, and never had a problem asserting my position and getting my way.

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by amcaugusta 

I wouldn't worry about the eye ointment and vitamin k yet. As I would just put those in a no-question asked part of my birth plan under newborn care... With words like "I do not consent to...". I would most likely discuss those with a pediatrician in advance as well. As far as the birth/delivery part, I would just tell her what you expect and if she doesn't seem amiable to them, I'd find a new provider. Good luck, I have had all hospital births, and never had a problem asserting my position and getting my way.

Thank you so much!  It's reassuring to hear that you got your way! The mom that rec. this dr. to me said that it's all about assertiveness and being educated.  This hospital is pretty good, as well.  We live in a somewhat crunchy/natural place...the northwest/oregon/my city, so I don't think anything I ask will be new...who knows though.  I appreciate your advice!

[CamoShades]

Originally Posted by JENinOR 

Oh and a doula!  It's so weird to think of meeting with someone like twice and then having them at my birth.  I wish one of my good friends were a doula!  I think a doula is a good idea to oversee that my birth wishes are met, but it just feels so odd to have someone touching me that I hardly know, lol. 

You may be surprised. When you interview doulas, you will probably just click with someone, and it will seem like you've been friends forever; that's how it was with my doula. 

[sillymom44]

My first 2 children were born in a hospital with nurse midwives. I had 4 page birth plans for both and they were followed strictly much to my surprise and happiness!! Although the nurse must have asked 3 times about whether or not I wanted the baby bathed (I didn't). She was so confused!!

[SunnyB1978]

I think you can get a feel for the doc by asking certain questions.  Make it clear you are planning a natural, minimal intervention birth, and as things like, "how long would you allow a mother to labor before intervening", and "what do you suggest to help naturally progress the labor", and then the questions about placenta delivery and delayed cord cutting.  You should be able to get a pretty good idea from all that.  If they are inclined toward natural birth, then they should have a lot to say about these things.

[pregnova]

We did end up as a hospital birth for my son, but went through several practitioners to get there. We originally planned on a hospital birth with a local OBGYN who came very highly recommended. I actually switched from him because he DIDN'T answer my questions anywhere near appropriately (for me).

I agree with a previous poster about foregoing questions about the baby and after birth ect... for the moment. I'd focus on the birth itself. Like, will he or she provide support of the perineum when it's time to push? And avoid episiotomy even if it means a natural tear (if this is something important to you). I had a doctor flat out tell me that if I wouldn't allow him to cut an episiotomy, then he'd happily sit on the other side of the room and watch me tear. Like, seriously?! How about a little perineal support?!!!

I picked those questions just because they're sort of big ticket things that (in my experience) they won't lie about. Whereas how much fetal monitoring is required or if you'll be able to eat during labor, ect... will be things they'll just agree with you about and then you'll get into the hospital and it will suddenly be 'hospital policy' that your wishes/agreements be violated. 

[pregnova]

Just to add a bit more here, 

The thing with the hospital is that it is what you make of it (barring something complicated like C-section or induction, ect...) If you're going in with a normal labor, then if you know what you want, and are prepared to fight for it, then you're probably going to end up just fine. If you don't have that support system to help you keep to your guns, then you may fall into those cracks...you know?

Like, we went in as a birth center transfer for pitocin augmentation. My water had been broken for 12 hours, and I was in my second full day of labor with very little dilation. We insisted that the pitocin be placed at the lowest dosage possible. And we bartered for time between every single increase in dose...and when my labor picked up, we insisted that the pitocin be turned off. As I was being checked in, we examined every single paper they were having me sign. We refused to sign the paper agreeing to an epidural or C-section should it be necessary. And, later on, when I felt the urge to push, (for the second time having been told to NOT push the time before because I wasn't dilated enough) I pushed without anyone other than my husband in the room. My son's head was visible by the time the midwife came to check on us, and it was an easy delivery from there on. When it was time for a vaginal check, I screamed at the nurses until they gave up and left me alone. And while this was all ridiculous to have to DO or think about during a birth, it got us a hospital birth with the least intervention. 

After my son was born, we continued to fight against anything they wanted us to do that we didn't want and basically forced them to check us out just 8 hours after the birth. 

So, just have a list ready of what you want...and have a support system in place that will help you keep to that list, and you'll do just fine. But, really, in my experience, it's not a lot about what the doctor has to say, so much as how hard the woman is willing to fight to get her way. In general, doctors don't want to fight their patients...particularly if you have intelligent reasons as to why you are refusing their advice.