Dammit, I lost my whole giant post. Starting again.
I was also a birth center transfer. I had several days of prodromal labor, and then two full days of active labor, both regular and back. I made it to 9 cm at the birth center before stalling out and exhausting myself. We tried every position, water, breast pump, cohosh, even breaking my waters at that point. Nothing was working and I was done. At the hospital we hoped an epidural would let me sleep and dilate fully on my own. I did sleep, but I still wouldn't progress. So I consented to Pitocin, which got me to 10, but letting the epidural wear off put me into panic attacks because I was afraid of the pain coming back because the back pain was so bad. I still tried to push for about four hours but never felt any urges or instinct to push. Finally I let them do the section.
I'm not using the birth center this time because we had to pay their bill and the bills from the hospital, which really crippled us financially. I can't take the risk of that happening again. Especially since there doesn't seem to be any one factor that led to the section. Obviously her size was a factor, but I suspect bad positioning as well, since I had such terrible back pain. Also I was so tired of the prodromal labor and nothing happening I think I went into the birth center too soon. It was a nice place, very comfortable, but I think I could have distracted myself a lot better at home and been better rested by the end when it got really hard.
My primary has a very natural- and VBAC-friendly reputation, and I've been very happy with her so far. Everyone there has said I'm an excellent candidate since obviously my body knows what to do, and no one's batted an eye about me wanting to be as natural as possible. This time around I'm making more effort to eat better and exercise more, with the hope that I can keep my weight gain lower and hopefully grow a normal sized baby. I also intend to keep a close eye on my sugar levels as I get further along. I passed the GTT with Elsa at 28 weeks so if sugar was a problem it didn't happen until after that point. I will be doing what I can to be informed about the size as well. I know that fundal measurements and ultrasound are not very accurate for sizing but because it's such a concern for me I feel like I need to do what I can and unfortunately there are no better options.
I'm looking into a doula. There is only one in my area that I can afford, so I hope I like her! I think it would help a lot to have someone there just for me. J tried, but he works a physically demanding job and is overtired most of the time, so when he's exhausted he's not much help. I did an intensive chiropractic therapy for about six months before I got pregnant, and now I'm on a weekly adjustment schedule. I'm hoping that will help with positioning and back pain.
Ideally, I would like to go into labor on my own, even if I've decided a section is the best option. But what I'm scared of is what size could mean not just for the type of delivery, but what happens after. The time after the birth was traumatizing for both of us. Because she was so big they assumed she must have sugar issues and other problems so they took her away to do tests and I didn't know I had to ask for her back when they finished. I thought they would just bring her when they were done, and they didn't, so I didn't even get to hold my baby for 24 hours. It made nursing so hard, and I just completely withdrew.
And I can't imagine what it must have been like for her to be poked and prodded and jostled when all she must have wanted was to nurse and be snuggled. Not to mention how bad you feel having a kid that big. I felt like a freak show, and still sometimes do. So I'm sure if we suspect another supersize baby I will be tempted to schedule a section to skip all that. But is the risk of taking the baby early worth it to avoid the separation and testing and depression? Hopefully I won't have to make that decision at all, but I think about it sometimes.