Alright my single mamas!
Here it is in a nutshell:
Met baby daddy in October 2010 in PA (I'm from OH he's form NC) we were both working on the same job. He lived in NC, I was living in PA had moved from OH in June 2010...
We hit it off, whirlwind relationship. Job was up, so in March 2011 we both left PA and I moved to NC to be with him.
Things became pretty sour (very long story here..). Alcoholism, lying, cheating, abuse, and likely drug use.
I had become pregnant in April 2011.
On June 2nd 2011 I left and went home with as much stuff as I could pack with me until I went down the following week (with brother and his girlfriend in tow) to get my 2nd vehicle and other stuff. It was horrible.
I haven't talked to him since Sept 2011, I told him if he broke his promise to me one more time then all communication was going to be cut. And I meant it.
Anyway, I really thought he was my "one" I wouldn't have moved away from all my friends, family, LIFE, if I didn't think he was. Things ended just about as bad as it could have. Last time I saw him in person, I was an emotional wreck and he was FINALLY showing remorse for his actions - too late by then!
I'm still SO HURT. Why? After everything he did to me, as bad as things were, I'm still hurt. Why oh why can't I just get over this 'hump?' It feels like it's been so long, though in the big picture it's a grain of sand in time. Obviously it's going to be harder because I had a child "with" him I use that loosely because he essentially donated a sperm. But I hate wondering what if, hate thinking wel maybe he can change..thinking about opening contact with him even though I won't..I wonder. All that would do is get me more hurt and bring me down.
How have you all gotten over it? (Besides time) Everyone says time..I know it's true..but is there anything ANYTHING else at all that helps? I'm so sad. So hurt. I love my baby with everything..but I'm still sad that it happened the way it did. I know her and I are a family in ourselves, but I dreamed of mom, dad, baby..how do I get over that?
If I could afford a therapist I would but I'm already so in debt from my pregnancy it's just not feasible. ):
Thanks in advance..