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Mothering › Groups › October 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Sister TTC/ had 12+ losses

Sister TTC/ had 12+ losses

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

Anyone else have someone close in the family who has been TTC for years and has had stopped keeping track of how many losses they've had?


I just told my mom that we are expecting #3 and she immediately suggested that I think about being a surrogate for my sister.  


I have thought about this, and might consider it once my family is complete.  But not this BABY!  We were TTC for this one, he/she is our family. . . 

post #2 of 5

Your mom really suggested you offer your child to your sister? Wow. I love my sisters, but wow.

post #3 of 5

Perhaps your mom meant be a surrogate in the future? Surely she couldn't have been suggesting you would give your baby to your sister!


My sister went through IVF like 10 times and had countless miscarriages. She did finally end up using a surrogate to have her 3 girls. But that surrogate was not anyone she knew prior. She never asked me bc I am 8 yrs younger and was not only very young still, but was no where even ready to think about having a baby for myself then. 


Has your sister had all the recurrent loss testing? My sister's doctors missed finding the reason for her miscarriages. It wasn't until the surrogate carried a baby using my sister's egg and that baby was born with trisomy 18 and only lived a day that they realized the problem. My sister has a chromosomal abnormality that only gets expressed when she gets pregnant. The babies all have trisomy. My sister's body knows those babies can't live. But somehow, putting the fetus in another woman's body, it got past the natural defenses and was actually born. After that my sister had genetic testing done and found the answer.


I am so sorry for all your sister has been through. 



post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 

Yeah she and her husband have had oodles and oodles of testing and they've determined the problem. I don't recall what the problem is, but do know the Dr said it wasn't any reason to stop trying.  I know she's taken clomid in the past, not sure if she's still taking it.


My husband and I have talked about offering to do this for them, but the heart breaker for me is that we do not agree on parenting choices.  WHAT.  SO.  EVER.  The little babe would be in day care at 6 weeks, circumcised if it was a boy, etc., etc . . . 


I would be considering adoption if I were in their shoes

post #5 of 5

I could only be a surrogate for people if we agreed with parenting choices.. I wouldn't be able to give a child over to someone who I don't think will parent them in a way I would want to.. At least for the big things (like for me, Circ is a big thing.. the first few years is a big thing etc).


As for what your mom said I think she meant in the future, not give the child you are carrying it to her. That would be way over the top!

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