Depression and Anxiety Thread - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[rebecca10]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

I'm glad this thread is being used often!

The biggest issue I am struggling with these days is a feeling of being overwhelmed, which leads to me feeling defeated before I even start a task. I totally popped out in the past week and now I feel like I'm the most awkward thing in the world when I move around. I'm pretty much always tired, and things like keeping the house fairly clean seem completely daunting. The constantly tired and overwhelmed feeling is a hallmark of depression-- but it also makes sense for pregnancy and taking care of a toddler full time! I just really wish I could find more energy and motivation.

 No doubt about it--being pregnant while parenting a toddler is exhausting and overwhelming! It is just so non-stop. Any chance you could get some help with Cece, from family, friends, or a babysitter? Even just a couple hours a week of extra time for yourself to get those things that aren't getting done done or just have some time to relax and rest, might be a great investment in your mental health.
 

[iixivboots]

How is everyone doing?

I am just so stressed, I'm starting to have a lot of the "automatic thoughts" that I learned to identify when I was first diagnosed, i.e. "I'm so alone." etc. so I'm trying to work against those.

I just can't make a decision about a therapist right now when I don't even have an OB yet. Was reading about taking SSRIs during breastfeeding, thinking that at least if I can make it until August I can get some relief, and I was just discouraged by all the negativity out there. I don't know. I want to breastfeed and I don't want to alter my baby's brain chemistry or increase the risk of autism (Latest study that I read), but I just don't know.

[moremadder]

You are not alone, bootsvalentine. Hang in there, it WILL get better.

[ithappened]

I'm right there with you boots I was just logging on to say how down and depressed I feel today but I do not want to start meds while pregnant.

This sudo bed rest isn't helping matters either, I feel completely overwhelmed and scared about this pregnancy. I feel like we barely manage 1.. and 3? OMG. omg. We're having financial problems thanks to DH school loans which isn't helping the matter either. I feel a lot of anger and hopelessness..

[NewMumJoy]

Aw, Boots and ithappened - hang in there, I hope the "external things" get better for you soon.... remember that we are capable of enduring A LOT (not just physically but also emotionally) despite how awful and painful it feels.  You'll get through it no matter what, just keep taking good care of yourself (vent! rest up! speak out! get help!)....

[dancinganne]

Hugs to everyone that is suffering.

I'm having a terrible time right now, and contemplating meds because nothing else is helping.  I know the meds won't take away the actual stressors though...my life is a mess right now.

I'm just not sure what to do.  The days are so long and dark lately. 

[rebecca10]

I'm so sorry you are struggling dancinganne. Sending hugs and hope you are able to start feeling better soon.

[iixivboots]

Dancinganne, I am sorry you are feeling so down. :( Lots of women have chosen meds for their own well being and that of their baby. There are a few threads in the I'm Pregnant section, one called Zoloft and Pregnancy that might help.

I have decided I want a doctor who will give me a very clear set of guidelines for when it's time to start considering medication. Maybe you could try asking for the same?  I am going to explain my symptoms and ask how bad it needs to get until it's time to think that the risks of meds might be outweighed by the benefits. So for instance, I am going to ask, if I can't stop crying for more than 24 hours, or I no longer want to eat, or I don't feel like I can get out of bed...for how long? before you believe I should be on meds. Then I'm just going to stick to those guidelines. I know the doc can't make the decision for you, and won't , but I think they should feel confident creating those guidelines or if not working with a psychiatrist. But I really hope my new doc will do that for me. Does that sound reasonable?

Mostly I'll have a one or two bad days of crying or feeling hopeless and then I'm fine for several more days. I feel like it's manageable at this point, but not fun.

[pennywhistle]

I'm so sorry to hear about others suffering.  It sucks.  I've always had mild depression/anxiety, and have been taking Celexa for a few years (with good results).  I've been feeling pretty good throughout my pregnancy, other than some expected anxious moments, but last week I just got hit with a huge black cloud and it's been hard to bounce back.  This past Sunday and Monday I was seconds away from tears all day (while at work), and bursting into body-wracking sobs at least twice a day once I got home.  I started feeling better yesterday, but am still feeling pretty vulnerable.  My problem is that I get stuck in a cycle, where I feel sad, and then I get mad that I feel sad ("I have everything I want!  My husband is great!  We're having a baby!  I'm healthy!  I have a good job!  I like my friends!  etc!  etc!  What is the problem?!"), which makes me feel worse, so then I feel sad that I'm so mad at myself and you can see where this goes!

Big hugs to everyone else on this thread. 

[moremadder]

bootsvalentine, ithappened, dancinganne, pennywhistle, how are you doing? Hope things are looking up.

[ithappened]

Things come in waves right now for me, Im having really bad anxiety about having twins- our apartment is so small but we can't afford to buy up, not sure our car can even fit 3 car seats, my visa here is up for renewal which is always so complex and exhausting and I am not preparing for the twins at all, Im having trouble feeling exhausted.... if I even start to think about prepping or giving birth.. or even where DS is going to go when I go into labor, I just get overwhelmed and stop I just keep feeling like I have no idea how we are going to do this.

[pennywhistle]

Ithappened, I'm so sorry things are so overwhelming.  That sounds like a LOT to deal with.  Sometimes when I get anxiety that's based on worrying about a whole bunch of things at once, it can be somewhat soothing to write everything down, in a list/outline format.  Putting everything down on paper makes me feel somewhat more in control.

I'm feeling a lot better - the black cloud has dissapated.  I just told my boss, so I'm feeling super anxious still from the conversation (it went great, but still - scary!), but otherwise things are definitely calming down for me.

[NewMumJoy]

Pennywhistle - glad to hear that you're feeling better, and I bet you're relieved to have told your boss the good news!

Ithappened - those are all valid things to be worrying about!  You do have a lot on your plate, and it's especially hard when you're far from 'home' and family who can lend that helping hand..... keep your chin up and take it one day at a time, things will work out no matter what.  Sending you hugs!  

[iixivboots]

moremadder, thanks for asking after everyone! :)

ithappened, I always find it's important to remember that you aren't crazy! Twins! Living overseas, that's a huge amount of things to have to solve. Your feelings are valid. Hopefully you can find a way to start to work on some of these problems and then feel good about what you've done.

penny, congrats on telling your boss. I was super nervous too but I had to tell early (6 weeks) and I really wasn't ready. He was also great, but it was scary. I am glad you feel like the cloud is lifting. You look happy/cute in your pic on the belly thread :)

So I FINALLY have a doctor I like. I am still having anxiety about things like being referred to a high-risk doc for something, but I think that's just because I feel like it's too good to be true. She said if I think I need to be on meds, I probably do. She said she wanted me to see a therapist to help decide about meds, which I thought was odd, since I think the best person to see if that's the decision we're making is a psychiatrist. I am going to do that. I would actually still like to stay off meds until after the baby is born, but I think I might do better with the prescription in my hand and the OK from everyone to go ahead if I need to, before or after delivery. I have had some dark moments but mostly I'm good and okay.

How's everyone else?

Does anyone know if there are studies about the correlation between maternal depression pre-pregnancy and the incidence of PPD?

[pennywhistle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bootsvalentine 

Does anyone know if there are studies about the correlation between maternal depression pre-pregnancy and the incidence of PPD?

I haven't seen any studies, but I'm very curious about it.  I've always been super worried about PPD, given my medical history.

SO glad you got a doctor you like, boots!
 

[moremadder]

ithappened, what a lot. just think how strong you must be to keep shouldering all of it every day so far! you will get through the next day too. luckily you only have to take one day at a time.

pennywhistle, so glad you are feeling better.

bootsvalentine, it must feel great to have a doc you like. a therapist sounds like a good idea, so you have someone to talk it over with. I've never seen a psychiatrist but it's my understanding that they spend very little time with each patient. I'd guess that would be very top-down and you wouldn't feel very empowered in your own care.

my doc reminds me all the time that while we don't really know much about how a lot of the anti-depressants affect the baby, we do know for sure that depression in the mother can be bad for the baby. which does not really make the decision about meds any easier, because I always feel like, well shouldn't I be trying harder to prevent/alleviate the depression with natural remedies like exercise and talk therapy to get the best outcome? (I am all about the guilt!) but I suppose it is still good to keep in mind.

I think there is a higher risk of PPD if you experienced depression before pregnancy. Found this Time article about it on Google: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1962031,00.html. But remember, many women with history of depression do not get PPD. And there is a benefit, I think, for those of us with history of depression -- if you have already experienced and treated depression, you are more likely to recognize and treat your PPD earlier.

[pennywhistle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by moremadder 

my doc reminds me all the time that while we don't really know much about how a lot of the anti-depressants affect the baby, we do know for sure that depression in the mother can be bad for the baby. which does not really make the decision about meds any easier, because I always feel like, well shouldn't I be trying harder to prevent/alleviate the depression with natural remedies like exercise and talk therapy to get the best outcome? (I am all about the guilt!) but I suppose it is still good to keep in mind.

I think there is a higher risk of PPD if you experienced depression before pregnancy. Found this Time article about it on Google: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1962031,00.html. But remember, many women with history of depression do not get PPD. And there is a benefit, I think, for those of us with history of depression -- if you have already experienced and treated depression, you are more likely to recognize and treat your PPD earlier.

I think that's one of the most important things to remember - even if meds aren't the best for the baby, neither is a super depressed mom!  I stopped taking my Celexa for a few days when I found out I was pregnant, since I was worried about it, and then promptly started having a hard time.  My husband asked what was going on, so I told him, thinking he would agree with my decision...nope!  He was so annoyed, and explained that my health comes first - I need to take care of myself in order to be able to grow another healthy person inside me.  Which of course makes sense.  It's hard when you don't like either option (don't want meds to affect the baby, but don't want your unmedicated depression to either) - so I just try to remember that avoiding the decision IS making a choice.  And as a future mom (!!!), I need to make sure it's the best one for all of us.

I think you make another really good point, moremadder, about women with a history of depression probably being able to recognize/treat PPD a little better since we have experience with mood disorders already.  I'll try to keep that in mind!

[ithappened]

my health comes first - I need to take care of myself in order to be able to grow another healthy person inside me.

this is even more true once you have kids.. when you suffering they suffer.. they have some weird sensors built in and it really affects them.

I plan to go back onto Anti-Ds as soon as I deliver, my PPD was horrible last time and Im not willing to chance it again.

[pennywhistle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ithappened 

this is even more true once you have kids.. when you suffering they suffer.. they have some weird sensors built in and it really affects them.

YEP.  I love my mom, and I know she did the best she could, but her unregulated depression when I was young really affected me, my social development, and my relationship with her - still, to this day.

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by ithappened 

this is even more true once you have kids.. when you suffering they suffer.. they have some weird sensors built in and it really affects them.

Oh man, this is SO true. I can see it in Cecilia and it makes me even more depressed and anxious, because it's clear I'm affecting her.