This isn't about whether other people have a "right" to know or about whether or not they're being rude in asking questions about my son's adoption or his birth parents. This isn't about me not wanting to educate others and help get kids adopted. This is simply about me not wanting to have this conversation every single day (sometimes multiple times per day) for the rest of my son's childhood. It's completely selfish* and I don't care what anyone thinks about that, but I need to shut these conversations down.
So far, my strategies are:
- change the topic
- take long pauses and look away to indicate that I'm not comfortable talking about this right now
- ask, "maybe we can talk about this some other time, in private?"
- answer quickly then change the topic
Any other ideas? I'm finding that these aren't working very well.
*OK, it's not completely selfish. I also think that my son doesn't need to hear these questions all the time either. He's going to know he's adopted, that we love him, that his birthmother and other family members love him, that he can learn more about the details later. He doesn't need to get the impression that adoption is weird or stigmatized from all these ignorant people who ask questions all the time.