What do you do with...?

[bandgeek]

What do you do with stuff that was left at your house by someone you aren't likely to see or hear from again?  Do you just donate it?  Keep it in case they DO show up wanting their stuff?  It's really just one bag of stuff, but I'm living in a very small apartment and it's making me feel weighed down.  I feel like it's not mine to dispose of or give away though...but I don't know what the etiquette of this situation is.

ETA:  It's been about 9 months since it was left here.

[mkksmom]

Do you have any way of contacting them at all?

[bandgeek]

I can, but I'd rather not. Basically I had to fire my daughters nurse for overstepping her bounds and talking badly about me behind my back (among other things...she really had a screw loose). She did not react well at all and left me nasty text messages, etc. She just never came back for her stuff and made it clear she didn't want to see me to do so. She asked if I could send her stuff with another one of our nurses so she could be the middle man, and it just never happened.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by bandgeek 

I can, but I'd rather not. Basically I had to fire my daughters nurse for overstepping her bounds and talking badly about me behind my back (among other things...she really had a screw loose). She did not react well at all and left me nasty text messages, etc. She just never came back for her stuff and made it clear she didn't want to see me to do so. She asked if I could send her stuff with another one of our nurses so she could be the middle man, and it just never happened.

Is it too much stuff to reasonably mail?  Is there a reason you cannot ask the other nurse to drop it off to the old nurse?  Does she work for an agency?  If so, can you bring to to the agency?  I would not get rid of her items until you have looked into what is legally required of you. 

[bandgeek]

Originally Posted by Mulvah 

Is it too much stuff to reasonably mail?  Is there a reason you cannot ask the other nurse to drop it off to the old nurse?  Does she work for an agency?  If so, can you bring to to the agency?  I would not get rid of her items until you have looked into what is legally required of you. 

She was not through an agency.  The current nurses and the old nurse aren't acquaintances.  It's a decent sized bag full...I'm not sure how much it would cost to mail it.  I don't know her address anyway, just her phone number.  I'm tempted to just stick it in a closet and forget about it, in case she decides she ever wants it back.  Really though, I don't feel this should be on me.  She was working for ME, and she never came back for it.  I still resent her for causing so much stress in my life.  Nurses are supposed to help us out since I'm already in a tough situation...not add stress.  Now I'm stressing about the STUFF.  Ugh.

[sleepypeanutsmom]

It does sound like the stuff is weighing you down energetically since it was such a negative experience with her.  I agree that you need to be rid of it very soon. 

How about leave her a phone message that the bag of stuff is available for her to pick up anytime on your front porch/apartment entrance/wherever you can leave it.  Tell her that if it isn't picked up in 2 weeks (give a specific date) you will dispose of it.  This way you don't have to see her, you don't have to be available, you don't have to deliver it, and you know it will be gone from your home in 2 weeks either way.  It should be on her to come and pick it up but you should be available for her to do that.  This would accomplish both.  Hope this helps. 

[Super Pickle]

You shouldn't incur the cost of mailing the stuff, and you shouldn't have to store it, either. Sleepy peanut's mom's idea about leaving a message telling her where to pick up the stuff is a good idea, but 2 weeks seems like too long. 2 days is more reasonable. 

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by bandgeek 

She was not through an agency.  The current nurses and the old nurse aren't acquaintances.  It's a decent sized bag full...I'm not sure how much it would cost to mail it.  I don't know her address anyway, just her phone number.  I'm tempted to just stick it in a closet and forget about it, in case she decides she ever wants it back.  Really though, I don't feel this should be on me.  She was working for ME, and she never came back for it.  I still resent her for causing so much stress in my life.  Nurses are supposed to help us out since I'm already in a tough situation...not add stress.  Now I'm stressing about the STUFF.  Ugh.

Yeah, unfortunately, laws don't always work that way, so I would not dispose of it until and unless you know what you are legally required to do.  I think sleepypeanutsmom gives a good suggestion on something that could work, but again, I would document whatever you do.
 

[bandgeek]

Yeah I've moved since then and I don't really want her to know where I live.  When I say she had a screw loose, I mean it.  She was very clingy and overly friendly, like she wanted to be my best bud, and would be all offended if I didn't play along.  She would do weird stuff like leave mints on my pillow and one time even took her pants off in my kitchen because I gave her an old pair of my jeans and she had to try them on RIGHT THEN.  So weird.  Anyway, that about sums up why I'm leery of communicating with her.  I guess I don't even know what I would do if she tried to contact me about the stuff.

[canadiangranola]

I would chuck it. 

Its been nine months. If it was anything she needed that badly she would have found a way to get it. 

Her stuff, her problem.

[clutterwarrior]

I agree...just chuck it out. If it was a matter of weeks I would say yes send her a message.

But being 9 months, frankly I don't think you should even bother contacting her if that is traumatic for you; it is not your responsibility to remind her about her things and most likely she has forgotten about them!

[erigeron]

I'm with the "chuck it". I liked the idea of leaving it out for her but not if you don't want her to know where you moved to. It's probably not anything she needs all that much if she survived 9 months without it and didn't really pursue it.

[colsxjack]

Im with the chuck it/donate it crew.

Although it may depend what is in the bag.

Is it just generic clothing and stuff? Or is it sentimental,jewelry, expensive work things? My wife is a nurse. Stethoscopes are very expensive.

[EarthyMamaofDaisy]

She can't legally prove she left anything there so I can't imagine there'd be a liability.  I would throw it out.

[SimpleLove]

Throw it out. I've had this happen with acquaintances at playdates that I'll probably never see again. Nobody ever comes back looking. I'm surprised the stuff even made it to your new place! And I'm sure she's attached to a new family at work by now.

[IsaFrench]

what about just making the effort to leave it with the other nurse you were talking about in an earlier post ?

if it was bogging me down that much, I would even try to ask a friend to do me a favor & to take away stuff and leave it with the other nurse or with someone you know she knows (..... and bake something for the friend as a "thank you") so that it's sure you won't meet her & won't have to give your address ..... and then won't have to think about it anymore ...

[OkiMom]

If there was someone I could give it to so they could give it to her without her knowing where I was then I would do so.

If there was no way for me to get the things to her without her knowing where I was now living I would donate it.