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Am I being dramatic? - Page 2

post #21 of 32
He was masturbating, and he probably just picked up his phone to have something in his hand so that it wouldnt look like he was just closing adult sites quickly. Dh and I have an open policy about porn, and he know that I do.not.care if he looks and it, but he still closes the windows if I walk in. Sometimes there are things that people look at that they have no intention of doing or wanting in real life. I think its silly that he said it was for you all to look at together. Does he feel some shame about looking at it for himself?
post #22 of 32
nod.gif Yes!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

My advice would be to start by totally making peace with the idea of your DH playing with his penis. He's going to do it anyway -- he can hide it from you or not, but you aren't going to stop him.
post #23 of 32
If you really want to enrage him and treat him like a child, do this. If anyone ever tried to do this to me, our relationship would be OVER.
Quote:
Originally Posted by grahamsmom98 View Post

If you have really hard concerns and aren't totally happy and comfortable with your dh's response, get a blocking program for your computer.  We use K-9 (we have a 13 year old).  It's free and you can have a password that only you know and a record of what sites he's looked at (even if he deletes them from the computer's history). 

You can "allow" what types of sites you are okay with being accessed and add keywords to have blocked.

Yes, if he's good at hacking, I suppose he can probably figure out how to stop this, but how many people are that computer-saavy?  If nothing else, it will make him realize you are suspicious and concerned enough about this and it might make him think twice about doing this.  Or, maybe not.

I would tell him you don't appreciate his laughing at your concerns and the belittling comment about being hormonal.  Ask him if he would have said the same thing if you weren't pregnant??? 


 Wouldn't you be upset just as much if you were not pregnant?  Don't YOU blame your feelings on hormones, either!!!





post #24 of 32

maybe he was calling to subscribe to something?

post #25 of 32

Could he be having phone sex and watching porn at the same time?  Don't they have live viewing/private show kinda things?  That's what I would think.

post #26 of 32


oh yeahhh that sounds possible, too.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by goodygumdrops View Post

Could he be having phone sex and watching porn at the same time?  Don't they have live viewing/private show kinda things?  That's what I would think.



 

post #27 of 32

Or just maybe he was listening to music... sets the mood.

post #28 of 32

 

I know this is a bit late, but I definitely DO NOT think that you should implement a computer blocking program. Doing that would be treating your husband like a child, and if I was him, I would find it offensive.

I suggest that you talk to him about it. From my personal experience, these little things that we wonder about build up over time, and the only way to prevent that is honest discussion. If you can't talk about your feelings with your husband, than who can you speak to about them?  It doesn't have to be confrontational or dramatic, but I would just tell him that you have been thinking about the incident that you described in your post and that you would like to know what he was doing. It's obvious that the reason you're thinking about this in the first place is because you care about your relationship and don't want it to change negatively as a result of your pregnancy (your feelings may be stronger because of pregnancy hormones, but there is nothing wrong with them.) Keeping communication open is the key to that. 

post #29 of 32

Yeah, no, not blocking, but my dh and I have an agreement about no porn on the computer!  I am really crazy about what sites connect with this computer, I do a lot of private browsing and I just do not want junk dumped into it.  Paranoid?  Perhaps.  I even hate cookies, a necessary evil, and regularly delete them.  So, no porn on the computer.  And.... ick... can you say "disinfectant"?  I don't want my computer to seem as skanky as a 21st century public phone booth.

 

It is really hard feeling like a whale and having your husband masturbate to nubile chicks.  *Deeply* embarrassing.  But hopefully nothing to take personally.  I use to get bothered about what kind of girl dh was looking at, but then I finally realized he's no beefcake, either!  :)  Somehow this made me feel better.  I don't know, but being pregnant made me feel a bit horny.  Scratch that.  First pregnancy!

post #30 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post

Yeah, no, not blocking, but my dh and I have an agreement about no porn on the computer!  I am really crazy about what sites connect with this computer, I do a lot of private browsing and I just do not want junk dumped into it.  Paranoid?  Perhaps.  I even hate cookies, a necessary evil, and regularly delete them.  So, no porn on the computer.  And.... ick... can you say "disinfectant"?  I don't want my computer to seem as skanky as a 21st century public phone booth.


 

I feel the same way. No porn on my computer.

 

I always figured if there were DVDs around the house, our kids would find them.

 

So, my DH is allowed to watch porn  when he is out of town on business. I really don't mind. But not in our house, not at my computer.

 

I can see how other couples could end up with other sets of guidelines for not p*ssing each other off.   winky.gif

post #31 of 32

Imakcerka...(We meet again, haha) I had to read your first sentence about 3 times before I got what you were saying. I thought u meant finishing him off as in off with is head. lol. (The head on top of his shoulders.)

 

I would agree with the not checking his phone. I use to do that when we were dating and it didn't help anything.

 

I think I would be mad, especially if pregnant and hormonal. Maybe make a really big deal about it, yell, scream, make yourself feel better, and get all your nasty feelings and fears about it out and then have really good make up sex.

post #32 of 32
I also just wanted to chime in and say that there are porn sites that send you a text message with a code to let you have a free pass for the day. I cant imagine giving a porn site my number just to look (because, come on, there is a lot of good free porn that doesnt require it), but I know people do.
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