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Mothering › Groups › May 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Hospital Birth Support Thread

Hospital Birth Support Thread

post #1 of 54
Thread Starter 

This thread is for those of us who, while we would love a homebirth, know for sure that we will be in the hospital, either for a natural birth, epidural, vbac, c-section, or other necessary medical interventions. This is a thread for positive discussions about hospitals, doctors, and nurses; a place to ask advice and get information; and a place to help us prepare mentally and physically for a medical birth experience. While we support NCB and do not advocate or promote all medical interventions, we know that sometimes they are necessary, and want mothers who have or are having hospital births to feel supported, happy, at peace, and not at all like failures.

 

Thanks for joining me!

post #2 of 54

Bith DS and DD were born at the hospital and we had amazing impowering wonderful births

DD was born back east and our OB was absolutly the best he was great my birth with DD was just what I wanted and I loved it.

 

DS was born out west and again an amazing experience and our OB here will also be delivering this LO

 

Both OBs supported home birth if I wanted with there nursemidwives but I chose to have a hossy birth

Both kids were born within about 2-hrs from start to finish (my kids come quick) they stay high up and then boom right at the end they come fast...

 

I had epi with both by my own choice. With DD I got an epi about 30 min before she was born and with DS I labored about 1:45 min and then I got an epi they turn off the epi after giving me a bolus of the epi and then he was born 3 pushes and ten mins later. LOL. Funny enough I don't have hard painful labors at all, I have no other meds given to me and the contractions don't really hurt UNITIL the very very end when the baby is coming literally out then bam! they are born. Both my OBs say I do labor well and make it look easy LOL well I can't take credit for how my body responds. Birth was not at all what people told me it would be...dunno,,, that's just me. I am pleased to have the same OB deliver this LO. I can have a home birth if I want and the OB says I can but I'm going with what worked for me the last 2 times and what i feel comfortable with.

post #3 of 54

wave.gif  Hello, I'm glad to see this thread!  We're planning on a natural hospital birth.  My OB's practice is pretty large, so it includes her, two other MDs and a few midwives.  So far, I like everyone that I've met.  We go for the hospital tour mid-March and afterward they are having a "meet the providers" at their offices across the street.  I hope all of my questions will be answered after that! 

 

I'm honestly scared of going to the hospital though.  I've worked in at least 10 hospitals, but I've never been a patient in one!  I think once I see everything, I'll feel a lot less anxious.  I think it also helps that our Bradley teacher is also a local doula, so she has been able to offer a lot of advice in terms of how the individual hospitals work.  For instance, at the hospital we'll be at, it's very easy to switch L&D nurses if you aren't jiving well with her.  She also said that with my practice, they tend to have less staff in the room (as opposed to the other OB practices). 

 

Are any of you planning on tell family that you're at the hospital or will you wait until you go home?  Our family is four hours away, so there's a little bit of a buffer there, but I'm not sure I want anyone showing up right away.  Does family usually want to go to the hospital to see baby or is meeting you at home sufficient?

post #4 of 54

 

With DD we had no one come to the hossy to see her, I stayed for 3 days in the hossy and DD was in room with me, a nursing champ:-)

Our parents said they would see DD once I was home and DH stayed with me at the hossy (private room)

 

With DS our familys were the same, they gave us time to ourselves. MIL and my mom came like a week later as DS was born out west and they all live back east.  DH and DD were there for DSs birth DD saw the birth! no issue. the hossy here is small all babys room in. private rooms here too, no fuss. At night DD and DH went home and I was in hossy for 2 days with DS

post #5 of 54
Thread Starter 

I will be having a scheduled c-section, so my mom and sister are coming to take care of my 3-year-old. My mom has this ridiculous idea that they are going to spend a lot of time hanging out at the hospital with us. I am gently encouraging her to wait until the second day to come see us and the baby and bring my son. For approx. 24 hours after my c-section I have to be in bed with an IV and catheter, I'm figuring out how to nurse, I'm exhausted, etc. I remember last time, by the second day I felt like a different person.

post #6 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by alittlesandy View Post

I will be having a scheduled c-section, so my mom and sister are coming to take care of my 3-year-old. My mom has this ridiculous idea that they are going to spend a lot of time hanging out at the hospital with us. I am gently encouraging her to wait until the second day to come see us and the baby and bring my son. For approx. 24 hours after my c-section I have to be in bed with an IV and catheter, I'm figuring out how to nurse, I'm exhausted, etc. I remember last time, by the second day I felt like a different person.

 

Oh yeah, I'd definitely be asking her not to come the first day!  You will definitely need your rest after a c-section!  Hopefully once you get home they'll be helpful.  How long is the recovery from a c-section? 

 

My mom has said that she wants to come to the house just to help out with cooking and cleaning.  She's not incredibly domestic, so I'm curious as to how that will pan out...haha! 

 

post #7 of 54
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by casmer View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by alittlesandy View Post

I will be having a scheduled c-section, so my mom and sister are coming to take care of my 3-year-old. My mom has this ridiculous idea that they are going to spend a lot of time hanging out at the hospital with us. I am gently encouraging her to wait until the second day to come see us and the baby and bring my son. For approx. 24 hours after my c-section I have to be in bed with an IV and catheter, I'm figuring out how to nurse, I'm exhausted, etc. I remember last time, by the second day I felt like a different person.

 

Oh yeah, I'd definitely be asking her not to come the first day!  You will definitely need your rest after a c-section!  Hopefully once you get home they'll be helpful.  How long is the recovery from a c-section? 

 

My mom has said that she wants to come to the house just to help out with cooking and cleaning.  She's not incredibly domestic, so I'm curious as to how that will pan out...haha! 

 


Lol, my mom is not helpful AT ALL, which is why I begged my sister to come to. Ultimately, I think it will be more of a burden than a help to have family around, but I'm too much of a people pleaser to insist on a "babymoon."

 

The hospital recovery from a c-section is 2-3 days, but the actual recovery is about six weeks. I didn't feel at all myself for about two months, and then I really started bounce back.

post #8 of 54

Great idea for starting this thread! I'll be birthing in the hospital with one of eight midwives that I've seen over the past many months. There are two in the group that I have yet to meet, but they are having an open house next month where we get to tour the hospital and meet them all.

 

My mom is going to be my doula but she lives two hours away, so I hope she can get there in time! My best friend is going to be my birth coach and she and my husband and I are going to start taking birth classes together in two weeks. My mister? Well, he's going to be there for me, but we both recognize it's unlikely he'll be playing much in the role of "coach."

 

The goal is to birth without pain medication, but I'm not ruling it out completely.

 

What I'm starting to think about now are songs to include on a "mix cd" for labor. Any ideas?

post #9 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppyseed2012 View Post

 

What I'm starting to think about now are songs to include on a "mix cd" for labor. Any ideas?


I've been wondering this too.  I'm afraid what I like now, might be annoying in labor...haha.  I'm thinking Coldplay for sure.  I really need to work on this!

 

post #10 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppyseed2012 View Post


What I'm starting to think about now are songs to include on a "mix cd" for labor. Any ideas?



This reminds me that I made a really elaborate playlist for my birthing day...songs for early labor, mid labor, transition etc. I also had a list of movies I might want to watch while I was in the very early stages. Of course, after I'd gone through all that trouble, I listened to and watched exactly zero things, haha, since I skipped all of the early stages. But hey, maybe this time.

 

I'm also giving birth at a hospital. It's the same one I used last time, the one my midwife has privileges at. I labored at home last time, so I was only in the L&D room for about an hour before I gave birth. I'd like to replicate that as much as possible again this time, although I really, really hope that I don't test positive for GBS again. That was the only drawback...I ended up not being able to get a full course of antibiotics in before the baby popped out, so I had to stay for 2 days, boo. Although this time, I don't know, maybe I'd get more rest if I stay in the hospital for 2 days rather than going home after 12 or 24 hours! It was actually quite pleasant, to be honest. We were able to have a private room, so my husband could sleep there with me. The baby ward rooms are on a high floor overlooking the Hudson River with a view of the Statue of Liberty and the lower Manhattan skyline, and we were treated to a lovely sunset each night. The nurses were all very nice and helpful with bf'ing, and they all seemed really respectful of our wishes, and our pediatrician works at that hospital so he stopped by and met our son and checked him out. We also had some friends stop by to coo over the baby and bring us food. Really, for a hospital birth, it was pretty ideal!

 

My inlaws are a 5 hour drive away, and of course, they'd like us to call as soon as I feel the 1st contraction or whatever so they can hop in the car. I'd rather wait to call until I'm fully in labor. I don't want to take the risk of them showing up while I'm still at home...in fact, ideally, I'd like them to show up when they did last time, about 3 hours after the baby was born.

post #11 of 54

Is it ok if I join, even though I wouldn't love a homebirth? (I mean I would in theory, but my health screwed me over SO badly in the last couple of years, I don't trust it anymore at all.)

 

The pluses of this particular hospital include that they specialize in multiples (I'm having twins), and specialize in high-risk pregnancies and have the NICU level for that. The interventions philosophy is different here, they specialize in high-risk and leave low-risk alone, and I hope with their experience they really know the difference. When I asked about cesareans and twins, the doctor told me "why have an operation if it's not necessary?" There are birth tubs, birth stools, etc., even a fancy hammock chair. Midwife-only birth can be requested. The webpage even mentioned homeopathy available.

 

On a lighter note, the cafeteria cart (that comes to waiting areas about every hour with snacks and drinks) sells Kombucha. It counts for something, right?

post #12 of 54

I'll be birthing in a hospital with midwives.  I'm hoping to labor at home as long as possible so DH is really worried that I'll give birth in the car since we live at least 30 minutes away from the hospital if there's no traffic.

 

This is my first so I don't have any experiences to share, but I can tell you what I think I'd like to have happen.  I'm going to try for drug and intervention free, but keep an open mind that things happen and we'll just have to see.  I don't anticipate wanting any visitors during labor or too soon after LO is born.  I feel very strongly that this event is something between DH and me.  We have great family and friends, all of whom will be eager to be there and I love them all dearly, but I also reserve the right to say NO!

 

I've been thinking a lot about music too.  DH is a dj and I keep asking him if he thinks we can bring his sound system to the hospital so we can have a dance party during labor.  Wouldn't the hospital staff all love that?winky.gif  Anyway, DH knows what I like and of course has tons of music so he'll be in charge of the soundtrack for our birth.  I figure it's best to be prepared with all kinds of music: upbeat, soothing, etc. and of course like Cookie said we'll probably not use it at all.

 

Those are my thoughts for now - and Sandy, thanks for starting this thread!

post #13 of 54

This will be my third hospital birth.  To be honest, with my cerclage, clotting disorder, preeclampsia last go around, etc. -  my goal this time is to have a healthy "take home" baby. period.    No NICU stay is my prayer.  Healthy baby and mom at the end.  I never know how things will proceed and don't want to set myself up for disappointment.  I really trust my high risk OB team and will let them guide me.  They have always been very ok with going slowly and never pushed epi's or pitocin or the like.  I don't even really think much about delivery time, it's generally less than 24 hour of my life, I can do anything for that amount of time and the end result is a new bundle!  The best advice I can give to new mommies is to not over think it!

 

After, we only allow our immediate family to visit until we get home.  This goes well since I have delivered at a hospital about an hour from home!  

 

It sounds like I don't give a rip about delivery planning and options....not true.  I spent a lot of time thinking and dreaming about goals before my first successful pregnancy.  Then I go through a lot of crap to get a baby to birthing and frankly I just want me and them alive!!  A perfect, healthy pregnancy with a quiet, lovely homebirth is just not in the cards for me =(

post #14 of 54
This will be my 3rd hospital birth as well. I definitely would love a homebirth. But I don't currently have a home suitable for such things, so...that's the way it goes sometimes.

My first birth was not a terrific experience and definitely shaped some of my strong aversions to "interventions."

My second birth was amazing and empowering and I'm delivering with the same midwife group at the same hospital this time. The MW who actually delivered DD2 is no longer with the practice (sadface!) but, I do like most of the midwives I've met and feel comfortable enough that if I request it, I'll be allowed to just labor privately with DH a lot of the time.
I love all the NCB stuff and I'm totally committed to it as part of my own journey...but, for me, I am equally committed to the idea that it can take place beautifully in a hospital.

On playlists, I didn't even have an ipod when DD1 was born. For DD2, I made up a bunch of different ones for the different stages of labor. When the time came, the only music that I wanted to hear was some cheesy guitar by the sea music...I loved the wave sounds, they kept me focused and relaxed and really did help me maintain some kind of zen tranquility. To this day, when I hear that music, I go back to a very happy place in my head...it reminds me of sitting quietly in the dark in my old apartment, on my birth ball, swaying through contractions and feeling very at peace with the work my body was doing. So I'm planning on using that again. But this time I have my iphone and between my ipod and pandora, I'll have lots of music to choose from should a different mood strike.

On in-laws and visitors...I do tell family when i'm heading to the hospital (or at least I did w/ DD2, MIL was the one who watched DD1 while we were gone), but we have a very strict NO visitors policy. I don't plan on staying more than 24 hrs; a lot less this time if I can get away with it....but I really don't want people cramming into my hospital room immediately after the ordeal of labor and delivery to "seeee the baybeeee" they can wait. smile.gif If I have to be there longer than 24 hrs, I'll probably want DH to go back to the house to get the girls and bring them to meet the new baby. HOnestly...at this point, this is my biggest problem with the whole hospital birth thing. I'm really nervous about my MIL watching the girls and there is literally no one else in my life right now to do it (support system? lacking); I'm worried I will have hang ups about this while in labor and that it will hamper the process....but...I'm trusting it will just all sort itself out in the next few months.

This thread is a really great idea! Thanks for starting it Sandy!
post #15 of 54
Thread Starter 

I think it's just fine to not want a homebirth and also to not want to have a birth plan. I think the most important thing is choice. I'm a firm believer in freedom of choice, and I don't like to see women bullied by either side. I'm frustrated that I can't have a vbac at my local hospital, but I also LOVE the hospital, their staff, etc. We had an amazing and wonderful experience there with my son and I'm thrilled that we will be back there again.

 

I really empathize with those who just want a live baby at the end. After infertility and two losses, I feel exactly the same way. My DH and I were joking yesterday that our innocent days of studying NCB methods (before we had our son) seemed so long ago and so irrelevant to who we are now. I'm ashamed to say that back then I was very judgmental of people who had hospital births and interventions, and in many ways I feel deeply grateful that I had a breech baby and a c-section. It was the most amazing, transformative, and humbling experience. I've learned that the issue is complex and multifaceted, and I feel wiser because of it.

 

I went to the hospital the last time with a lot of fear and nothing that I was afraid of panned out. They were very encouraging of and supportive of breastfeeding. Nobody once mentioned formula, vaccinations, or circumcision. I was under the impression that if I wanted any of those things I had to ask. I know I'm lucky and that this is not the case with all hospitals and doctors, but I do want people to know that a positive hospital experience is possible.

post #16 of 54

I'm definitely having a hospital birth!  I would never want to homebirth, it's just not my thing.  I love my doctor and we have a great hospital in this area for having babies at, so I know that it will be a positive experience.  My doctor had both her babies without any pain medication, so I know she will be on my side when I try to do it drug-free!  I hope I can make it!

 

I think it's funny that all of you don't want any of your family there very early on.... I am the exact opposite.  I am gonna tell everyone as soon as I go into labor.. I want my family around me, and I want them there so right after they can all come in and see him :)  My mom and hubby will be int he delivery room with me, also!  I must just be the opposite of everyone here, I guess.  I can't wait to show off my new addition to everyone <3

 

post #17 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by janellody View Post

 

I think it's funny that all of you don't want any of your family there very early on.... I am the exact opposite.  I am gonna tell everyone as soon as I go into labor.. I want my family around me, and I want them there so right after they can all come in and see him :)  My mom and hubby will be int he delivery room with me, also!  I must just be the opposite of everyone here, I guess.  I can't wait to show off my new addition to everyone <3

 



You're not alone Janelle. Like I said, my mom, husband and best friend will be in the delivery room with me. I invited my mother-in-law and although she was very grateful for me having asked, she declined. She'll be in the waiting room with my dad, aunt and whoever else wants to be there. To me, the more the merrier! But also, I'm no slouch at speaking up. So if I want everyone out, I'll say so without a second thought. :)

post #18 of 54
Thread Starter 

I'm actually very jealous of those of you who want your moms close by for the whole thing. I love my mom and we are very close, but she is not an easy person to spend time with. She has this idea in her head that she will "help" when the baby comes, but she cannot drive and cannot lift my 3-year-old in and out of the car seat. Her idea of "helping" is to say, "What are we having for dinner?" and then stand around helplessly in the kitchen saying, "What can I do?" We have to make up very specific and easy tasks for her to do, and make sure she is entertained the rest of the time.

 

My sister, on the other hand, is VERY take-charge and easy going. She will just dive right in, go shopping, clean, pull stuff out of the fridge and throw together a meal, get down the floor to play with my toddler, etc. I would prefer having just her, but my mom wants to be at the center of everything.

 

My mom also sits around analyzing EVERYTHING the baby does. When my son was born and she came to visit, she said endlessly: "I think he's hungry. I don't think he's hungry. You just put him down for a nap. He wants his mama! (three seconds after taking him). I think he needs a diaper change (but she doesn't just get up and change it). What wrong with him? You shouldn't hold him so much. You should hold him more. I think he's hot. I think he's cold."

 

She drives me crazy!

post #19 of 54

In college, I volunteered on the post-partum floor and saw how exhausting all of the visitors were for most of the moms. 

 

One of my main concerns is that I don't know how I'm going to physically feel after the birth.  Will I have trouble breast-feeding?  Who knows.  I want that time for recuperation and spending time with my husband and little girl.  I love my family, but I don't want to spend my very limited energy on visiting with them at the hospital.  When we go home, then perhaps I'll feel like showing her off, but in the mean time I want that uninterrupted bonding time for DH, Me and little girl. 

 

 

alittlesandy - how lucky you are to have such an assertive sister!  At least she can balance your mom out...maybe she will help keep your mom busy? 

post #20 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppyseed2012 View Post



You're not alone Janelle. Like I said, my mom, husband and best friend will be in the delivery room with me. I invited my mother-in-law and although she was very grateful for me having asked, she declined. She'll be in the waiting room with my dad, aunt and whoever else wants to be there. To me, the more the merrier! But also, I'm no slouch at speaking up. So if I want everyone out, I'll say so without a second thought. :)


Me too, and maybe that helps.  My mom knows I have a strong personality, if I wanted to be alone, I wouldn't be shy about saying it LOL.. but I don't think I will.  This is the first baby on my mom's side so we are ALL just beyond excited and I want nothing more than to share that with everyone of my family members.  We don't always get along, but I love them all and am SO excited to be having a baby and becoming a mom, I wouldn't want anyone to miss out, so I am sure my visitors will be taking up the whole room after he is here, I already told my mom that she will be in charge of texting my friends when it's happening so they can come down :)  ALL THIS TALK IS MAKING ME EXCITED NOW!  I can't wait for my baby to be here!  29 weeks.... I just gotta get through the rest!!

 

I totally understand where you other moms are coming from, I think I maybe just have a different relationship with my family and don't see any of them as a burden (don't mean that in a bad way, just mean I don't think they will cause more harm than good while visiting like it sounds like yours will) and if they become one, I will kick them out :)  Hahahah :P

 

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