Hospital Birth Support Thread - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[cookie_]

I actually really enjoyed having visitors last time in the hospital, but I'm a very social person. I also had an easy birth and had a boat load of adrenaline afterwards, so I was kind of hyper and wanted to be the center of some attention, ha! I felt very flattered that my friends cared enough to make a trip to the hospital the very first day to meet our child. The only reason I don't want to call my inlaws too soon when I'm going into labor is because my MIL, while a wonderful and loving person, is kind of like Sandy's mom...a little on the helpless side. She always ends up making everything about her and makes more work, even though she means only the best. She can't lift my toddler or really take care of him ("what does he want for dinner?" "I don't know, just give him some pasta and sauce" "what kind of pasta? rotini? elbows? penne? should I cut it up? how much sauce should I put on it? should I mix it all together? should i put more than a tablespoon in there? should I heat it up before?" etc), so honestly, it will just be easier to have one of my friends (all of our boys are the same age) watch him while I'm at the hospital. This way, my inlaws can just come to the hospital that evening and coo over the new baby.

My mom, on the other hand, is an amazing person to have around when things need to be done. Even though I'm 35 years old and even though she gets on my nerves constantly (moms!), I still secretly wish for my mom whenever I'm not feeling well. I am really hoping this baby comes a week early like his brother did, so my mom will be in town for the first few days. If he doesn't come early, she'll be in Australia and Europe for work for the first few weeks of his life, boo.

Also, for those of you first-timers - don't forget to bring a nice pillow with you from home! Even if you're only going to be at the hospital for one night, trust me, you'll want that pillow. Hospital pillows are the worst!

[persephassa]

we're having a hospital birth; i just went there today to fill out paperwork and see the l&d rooms, etc. we're still going to go and tour a birthing center (that's inside a hospital) that's an hour away, but i don't know how i feel about the drive, and having to go to appointments out there, and all that. it would be easier to stick with the midwife we have and the hospital here--it's about a mile from our house, so that's more convenient...  the birthing center just has more stuff like birthing pools and so on. we still have an appointment to go see it so i guess i could change my mind. we do have a doula and i'm hoping to have an unmedicated birth. 

it would be nice if we were going to have some visitors but none of our family lives here (we just moved here) and we don't have a lot of friends yet. my mom will come after the birth and help out around the house, i'm excited for that.

[janellody]

Originally Posted by cookie_ 

my MIL, while a wonderful and loving person, is kind of like Sandy's mom...a little on the helpless side. She always ends up making everything about her and makes more work, even though she means only the best. She can't lift my toddler or really take care of him ("what does he want for dinner?" "I don't know, just give him some pasta and sauce" "what kind of pasta? rotini? elbows? penne? should I cut it up? how much sauce should I put on it? should I mix it all together? should i put more than a tablespoon in there? should I heat it up before?" etc),

LOL!!!  That sounds like ME! I have NO idea what to do with babies, so this is going to be an interesting journey for me..... hahah!

[forestmushroom]

Originally Posted by lightheartedmom 

I'm really nervous about my MIL watching the girls and there is literally no one else in my life right now to do it (support system? lacking); I'm worried I will have hang ups about this while in labor and that it will hamper the process....but...I'm trusting it will just all sort itself out in the next few months.
This thread is a really great idea! Thanks for starting it Sandy!

This is my biggest source of anxiety, too... who will stay with my kids? In a pinch I could call my brother because he lives super, duper close, but he works and has a long commute, and they have 3 little kids and his wifey is pregnant!  So it seems like a lot to ask... but they are our back up.  I typically have pretty fast labor and am fine with DH leaving me alone after baby is born and we are settled... plus he snores, so I don't want him in the hospital room overnight!  haha. 

But I worry about my 2 yo who will be 2.5 at the time... he is still super attached, and I just worry about who will take care of him?  Best case scenario we find a totally rad postpartum doula who will also come to our house... worse case my brother gets woken up and comes over all grumpy ;)

But still, it is super stressful! 

[Sky]

Originally Posted by janellody 

I think it's funny that all of you don't want any of your family there very early on.... I am the exact opposite.  I am gonna tell everyone as soon as I go into labor.. I want my family around me, and I want them there so right after they can all come in and see him :)  My mom and hubby will be int he delivery room with me, also!  I must just be the opposite of everyone here, I guess.  I can't wait to show off my new addition to everyone <3

My mom and MIL get along great and I have a good relationship overall with all of my family, We just love to experience our birth with our imediate family, DD and DS my DH Although if my mom comes sooner then she will most likely keep our dd and ds at our home with her.  We really don't want all family coming to the hossy when I will be home in a few days and i want time to rest and just have time with the baby alone.... yes i'm an infant horder LOL!

[forestmushroom]

Originally Posted by janellody 

I'm definitely having a hospital birth!  I would never want to homebirth, it's just not my thing.  I love my doctor and we have a great hospital in this area for having babies at, so I know that it will be a positive experience.  My doctor had both her babies without any pain medication, so I know she will be on my side when I try to do it drug-free!  I hope I can make it!

I think it's funny that all of you don't want any of your family there very early on.... I am the exact opposite.  I am gonna tell everyone as soon as I go into labor.. I want my family around me, and I want them there so right after they can all come in and see him :)  My mom and hubby will be int he delivery room with me, also!  I must just be the opposite of everyone here, I guess.  I can't wait to show off my new addition to everyone <3

I wish I could have them-- my sister I would have in a heartbeat!  I've had them visit me in the hospital before and it was okay... but usually I just rather be alone for a bit, with baby.  I find visiting after giving birth exhausting!  And there is a lot of stuff you have to deal with that is really company friendly... so I'd rather see family when bleeding has lessened, etc...
 

[casmer]

Originally Posted by forestmushroom 

I wish I could have them-- my sister I would have in a heartbeat!  I've had them visit me in the hospital before and it was okay... but usually I just rather be alone for a bit, with baby.  I find visiting after giving birth exhausting!  And there is a lot of stuff you have to deal with that is really company friendly... so I'd rather see family when bleeding has lessened, etc...
 

Speaking of bleeding...what do you do while you're in the hospital?  A friend said she used depends, but that just sounds gross and um...sticky?  I have no idea what to expect since no one tends to talk much about these things in person...haha.

[Masel]

The hospital where DD2 was born provided disposable mesh undies with a super absorbent pad. They gave me enough for the first day or two at home and then I used the large size menstrual pads. I use a Diva cup for my periods or I might have been more invested in using cloth mama pad. 

[forestmushroom]

Originally Posted by Masel 

The hospital where DD2 was born provided disposable mesh undies with a super absorbent pad. They gave me enough for the first day or two at home and then I used the large size menstrual pads. I use a Diva cup for my periods or I might have been more invested in using cloth mama pad. 

Yeah they give you these mesh undies that are great.  I wouldn't use depends except for maybe a really short time if you are bleeding a lot (like maybe right after baby is born when you are trying to sleep).  But it doesn't sound comfy... I think that they might be a good idea for heavy bleeding when you are sleeping and might shift around a bit... the pads don't always stay in place, yk?

Poise pads seem to be a good mixture of big and absorbent, but not too much and still allows some breathing.

I'm going to get the natracare maternity pads and then use mama cloth at home...

I went online and requested a bunch of samples from Poise, depends, etc. just to have some other options for home for free, too.

Oh, and ask the hospital for extra mesh undies... I try to get at least 3 extra pairs since they work well and then you can just toss them when you are done.  No sense in ruining good underwear...

[Sky]

LOL! I really loved the mesh undersLOL!

I too will use their pads then mama cloth when I get home.

[poppyseed2012]

Forest, great idea about requesting samples!!!

[forestmushroom]

Originally Posted by poppyseed2012 

Forest, great idea about requesting samples!!!

Yeah, I figure that way I don't buy a bunch of something I don't really need... and they have coupons. :)

[casmer]

Has anyone started working on a birth plan?  DH and I are in the beginning stages of working on one.  I think before we set it in stone, we'll need to confirm with our practice and hospital what "policy" allows them to do.  Our practice is used by a lot of natural child birthers, so I'm not sure if I should leave some stuff off because it's just not routine anymore (like episiotomies).

Any Mamas who have done this, have any advice?  I have the info from our Bradley class and I just came across this one, but it seems really long.

I want to keep it short and sweet, but make sure that our wishes are honored.  I'm pretty sure if it's too long, no one will read it. 

[alittlesandy]

I think part of it depends on the hospital and your OB, but we had no problems at all without one. Nobody did anything that we didn't specifically ask for. They didn't vax, they didn't even mention circ or formula, DS was never out our our site, it was all very friendly and respectful. I've heard horror stories, but I honestly don't know how common they are or how recent. I had a c-section, and asked for my midwife to be present along with DH, and they were fine with that. The OB made an announcement in the OR that nobody was to mention the baby's sex except DH (it was a surprise). They asked him to cut the cord, etc. The next morning I asked for my cath and IV to be removed ahead of schedule and the nurse was very easygoing about it. All in all we had a great experience, and it was nothing like what I was expecting, having planned for a home birth and having been very wary of the hospital.

I guess one value it can have it helping you clarify and solidify in your own mind what you want and don't want. Also making sure your DH and OB know your wishes ahead of time. That seemed to work fine for me, but everyone has different needs and a different experience.

[lightheartedmom]

Originally Posted by casmer 

Has anyone started working on a birth plan?  DH and I are in the beginning stages of working on one.  I think before we set it in stone, we'll need to confirm with our practice and hospital what "policy" allows them to do.  Our practice is used by a lot of natural child birthers, so I'm not sure if I should leave some stuff off because it's just not routine anymore (like episiotomies).

Any Mamas who have done this, have any advice?  I have the info from our Bradley class and I just came across this one, but it seems really long.

I want to keep it short and sweet, but make sure that our wishes are honored.  I'm pretty sure if it's too long, no one will read it. 

Advice on birth plans was one of the best things from my DDC when I was pregnant with #2 in 2009. Someone then recommended not so much a birth "plan" but putting together a short list of wishes for your birth, as well as things you definitely do NOT want (in our case, hep B for baby, eye ointment, etc). With my first I think I did do a birth plan and I'm pretty sure NO ONE read it.

I think it's more important to be aware of what kind of hospital you're in...I didn't know this until after the fact, but at the hospital where I had my first, they had something like a 95% epidural rate for vaginal births. Almost all the nurses on staff when I was in labor had never even seen an unmedicated vaginal birth, let alone helped a woman get through one. The one nurse who was supposed to be "natural birth friendly" I guess had that reputation because she'd actually seen a few, but as a labor coach, she was pretty unhelpful and had a really gruff bedside manner.

At the hospital where I had DD2, they had a reputation for being a very natural birth friendly hospital (which is why I chose them) and when DH and I toured the L&D wing, we met a few nurses who were all very clearly on board (and experienced, even though they were probably my age or younger) with the whole idea of low-intervention, drug free birth. It's good to get a feel for the L&D nurses beforehand if you can...if you have an OB instead of a MW, they're going to be with you a LOT more than your Dr, so it's most important to know you'll have your nurse in your corner.

Our birth plan was 1 page, large-ish font. My midwife read through it when we met her (when I was in the hospital, in labor ) and said "I don't see any reason why we can't make it happen this way." She was awesome.

I'm happy to share if you want to see it (PM me). The basic advice I got was, keep it short and sweet, try to sound respectful and flexible as much as possible, not demanding or adversarial. And if there is something you definitely do not want, use the phrase "I do not consent to _____" I also heard it's good to bring treats for the L&D team but I didn't do this...

In addition to my birth wishes, I made a longer, detailed list for my husband. Both things for him to do for me and things for him to remember when dealing with hospital staff. He went over this a few times leading up to my labor and it helped him be my doula (best ever!!). He really followed the advice I gave him, even the stuff that annoyed me in the midst of labor (I told him to keep me moving and make me do deep squats and at one point it was exactly what I needed to be doing and didn't want to do...he helped me through it and it helped our little girl descend (because she was being a bit stubborn)).

So short and sweet, as not-demanding as possible while still conveying your needs wishes and deal-breakers and get familiar with your hospital - both stats on c-sections, breastfeeding, etc as well as things like how many medicated vs. unmedicated births they see (if that's what you're going for).

[casmer]

Awesome, thanks lightheartedmom!  My practice is comprised of OBs and Midwives and their claim is a "non-interventionist" natural birth policy.  My concern is that line between what the hospital is accustomed to and what our practice is accustomed to.  I asked some questions today and plan on asking more questions each visit.  We go for the hospital tour in a couple of weeks.  I think I'm just starting to get anxious.  Once I have something written down, I'll post it and ask for feedback, if you ladies don't mind :)

[Ruby2]

Hi Ladies - I'm hoping for a home birth this time, but had a great, natural hospital birth with dd. I was really happy with my birth plan and thought I'd share it. It's a little long and I have no idea if the obvious communication with the staff of my wishes came from the birth plan or my awesome midwife, but it gave us peace of mind to know that it was in my file. 

Some of it was from my Hypnobirthing class and may sound odd if you haven't looked into that technique at all, but I left it in just in case. Here goes! 

To _____ Hospital Family Birth Center Staff:

The information below represents the birth preferences of ________. Our goal is to have a natural childbirth free of any medications and focusing on methods that will allow a quiet, relaxed, natural birth.

We have given careful consideration to each specific request in the plan, and we feel that it represents our wishes at this time. We realize that as labor progresses, we may choose to change our thinking and wish to feel free to do so. We understand that these choices presume a normal pregnancy and birth. Should a situation arise that constitutes a medical emergency, please know that you will have our complete cooperation after we have had an opportunity for an explanation of the medical need and have had sufficient time to discuss the decision between ourselves.

Your support, understanding and patience are very much appreciated.

We request:

• To be assigned a nurse who is supportive of natural birth.
• To self-hydrate and decline IV prep and heplock upon admission.
• Intermittent monitoring only (manual if possible) after the mandatory strip at admission.
• To be fully apprised and consulted before the introduction of any medical procedure – augmentation, amniotomy, membrane stripping, episiotomy, etc.
• To consider artificial initiation of labor only if there is medical urgency.
• That staff refrain from references to “pain, hurt, etc.” and any offer of medication or labor-enhancing procedures unless requested.
• That low, quite voices be used in the birthing room at all times and that talk be kept to a minimum.
• Minimal number of vaginal exams.
• To move about freely during labor with access to a bathtub, birth ball, and birth stool and to utilize a birthing position of _____'s choice.
• No coaching or pushing prompts, please.
• That ________(Dad) be allowed to receive the baby if at all possible.
• Immediate skin-to-skin contact, with baby placed on ____'s chest or stomach with a warming blanket placed over the baby’s back. No wrapping of the baby.
• Cord to be clamped and cut only after pulsation has stopped.
• That _____(Dad)  hold the baby immediately after birth in the event of a c-section and bring the baby to ______(Mom) . In the absence of urgency, that _____ (Dad) be allowed to continue to hold the baby.
• To have bright lights temporarily removed at the moment of birth and until the baby is moved to ______'s chest.
• Immediate breastfeeding and no physical separation of the baby from _____for at least an hour.
• To wait for natural placenta delivery (no cord traction, manual removal or Pitocin unless necessary).
• That vernix be allowed to be absorbed into the baby’s skin; delay cleaning or rubbing, and use of a soft cloth, not terry, when rubbing is needed.
• We respectfully decline a vitamin K injection in the absence of birth trauma as well antibiotic eye ointment, Hepatitis B vaccination, and circumcision.

We thank you in advance for your support and attention to our choices.

Sincerely

[Sky]

For DD she was born 8 years ago back east. We had a birth plan written up, similar to ruby2s except I did opt for hep lock in place. (i have small veins and I wanted a specialist to do it just in case) she roomed in and I refused the eye stuff and V-K shot no issue. My OB was great back east, "he said it's my birth",

For DS I had no birth plan just vocalized what I wanted. he was born in Taos NM, YOU have to room with your baby LOL! you have no choice, I mean they will cuddle and hold your baby if you want them too they even have baby slings they cuddle you baby in I saw this when I toured the hospital! But unless there is something really wrong in which case your baby would be airlifted out because there is no nicu here they would just stabilize and fly them to santa fe or ABQ and each room is private and they don't circ there at the hossy its against the rules! Our OB said rub the white into his skin to me! as she lay him on me...etc placenta came on it's own and she even showed it to me asking me if I wanted a print LOL I was floored!  DH said EW! LOL men,  but I did get a print of it. They don't give any shots at hossy unless I request it in writing and DS had no eye ointment either. I remember writing again on his bassinet no CIRC and the nurse came in and said you don't have to worry we don't do that here and its not recommended I knew that they told me that when I toured the hospital but I wasn't sure I be lived them with all the stories you here of accidental circs happening but still....WTH!!! I was like wow! They asked if I was going to BF I said yes and they brought me some lansinoh! and also when they checked on me later that evening they asked had I fed him and do I need the lactation consult to come in etc....they new I had BF our DD and they offered support but judged me to be ok and comfortable feeding him...

[forestmushroom]

Yeah, my babies have either been born in Berkeley, CA or here in Portland... and I've never had a birth plan and never felt pushed into anything. I think it depends on the hospital.

If you don't want an IV make sure you have a card from the Dr. saying you are strep B negative--even if your midwife or dr. sends you file over, having the card that you can hand to them right away will keep them from wanting to do the IV.

The whole state of Oregon doesn't think Circ is medically necessary!  And it is easy to refuse hep b vaccine, eye drops, etc.

The hospital has baths and whirlpools, so that is nice, and I've always had the experience like sky where you have to room with baby.  They will watch baby while you take a shower, etc. But they want baby to be with mama...

And my oldest, the hospital gave out formula samples, but then they changed their policy and refuse to now--and I've never had anything other then support for breastfeeding... And skin to skin to warm baby up, etc.

For me I think a birth plan should be short and sweet and to the point. If the hospital already *doesn't* or *does* do something, no sense in writing it out. And medical professionals are busy people, and they might not have the time to parse through a lengthy document.

My birth plan is a list of don'ts and dos

Don't offer me drugs

Don't IV me

Don't check me unless I request it

Don't break my water

Don't keep me in a bed

Do give me my baby when s/he is born

Do wait for placenta to be born naturally...

And make many copies of it, maybe post one on the door. But it really depends--if you have a midwife they will likely be with you the entire time, and you can tell them what you do want/don't want.

I do think it helps to KNOW what you want--and so writing a birth plan might be good for the parents so everyone is on the same page. But if you live in a pretty progressive area, your hospitals policies might be pleasantly surprising.

The last hospital my little guy was born at -- my favorite part is that they give you a milkshake after your baby is born! 

[janellody]

I have no idea what I want but I like your list forest...