Hi everyone, I would really value some perspectives with my WOH/SAH dilemma.
I have a 2 year old DD and for the first 18 months of her life I WOH part time (and hated it). I desperately wanted to be with her full time. When she was 18 months old I got really sick with an acute illness and I had to take 6 months off because I was so unwell. Even though I had multiple hospital visits, specialists to see, tests etc etc, the illness was a blessing because I finally got to be at home with my daughter full time.
Towards the end of 2011 DH and I conceded that his income (he's self-employed) was getting critically low and I would have to go back to some part time work. So I did, putting DD in 2 days of family day care and 1 day with my parents. While she seems happy enough in other people's care (she still gets upset at saying goodbye but otherwise has a good time).. it's me who is struggling so much with it. I hate being a working Mum. I miss our simple routines. I hate that my time is now so stretched that the house is so much harder to keep in order. I hate that my own self-nourishment (time out to walk, journal, breathe, be creative, sew, etc) has to go from the daily schedule because there just isn't the time to fit it all in. I hate that I still hold responsibility for 99% of the household work even though I'm also WOH and caring for her. And mostly, I just miss my daughter. I don't feel ready to be apart from her for 3 long days each week.
I chose to return to work to cope with the escalating financial pressure we were under a few months ago. And it is good to have a little extra money. But right now I feel that it's costing me so much in terms of my wellbeing. I have no idea how I'm going to continue to cope when this is how I feel 2 months in, trying to do both. So I guess you could say I feel really stuck. I've tried hard to try and view this differently in my mind and accept the situation, but so far I'm not getting anywhere with that.
Thanks for reading,