Forced weaning due to loss of milk

[LeaPea]

I am pretty sure my milk is gone, or greatly diminished due to me being five months pregnant. My daughter (20 months) asks to nurse and will only stay latched on for a few seconds before she asks for the other side. She wants to stay latched on all night but isn't actually nursing, more like suckling. It is making my skin crawl!! During the day I can distract her from nursing, but night time is just crazy. About three nights ago, I finally couldn't take it anymore, and told her there was no milk. I have been holding/rocking her, but she screams and wants to suck, but there is no milk.The first two nights were awful, and last night was much better. I wasn't really prepared to wean so quickly. Truthfully I have no desire to tandem nurse, but I had planned to wean her gently over several months. Any tips on how to make this transition easier on her??

[3girls1boy]

It is not easy, but treating your daughter's needs AND your own with respect is worthwhile even if she is not happy about it.  I weaned my second daughter during my 3rd pregnancy at about the same age.  I had had episodes of pre-term labor in my second pregnancy and I could feel some mild contracting when my toddler nursed during this 3rd pregnancy.  While in retrospect, I don't think this would have sent me into pre-term labor, I just didn't feel comfortable with it at the time, so I too, decided to wean rather abruptly.  At that point, though, my daughter was only nursing a couple of times a day, for a very short time, and did not nurse at night.  I told her that my breasts were "broken" and that we couldn't nurse anymore.  I did give her a bottle of warm cow's milk every night, which she continued until she was close to 3.

Holding and rocking her is right on track---she still needs that physical contact with you.  I would strongly recommend reading "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" (I actually re-read it every time I had a child at this stage).  One thing the author mentions about weaning a toddler is that the toddler can pick up on your ambivalent feelings and that can make things more difficult.  Remember that it is a relationship and that it is fair to factor in your own feelings as well as hers.  Also, I would try not to introduce anything else new right now--weaning is enough to deal with at the moment.  Sometimes moms try and introduce weaning and potty training at the same time and find it's just too much for your little one.

Good luck.  Jeanne