Ok Mamas, I need some suggestions! My 3, almost 4 yo girl has decided she 'likes' peeing on the carpet about once a day these days! We've got a new baby coming any day now and I wonder if this has something to do with it. She's been 'potty trained' for at least 9 mos. now. We don't believe in punishments or shaming or anything like that, even rewards really, but, as I'm feeling at the end of my rope about this... I was thinking of perhaps an 'incentive chart' or something...I'm usually not too thrilled about those either but not sure where to go with this one! Insights/suggestions? I'd really like to not have to put her in diapers again, but I guess I will if I have to. Many thanks!
- topicGentle Disciplinetagged by System, 2/23/12
Related Forum Threads
- "Gentle discipline breeds wild kids." Last post on 11/22/13 at 1:50pm in Gentle Discipline
- Help with Tantrums and Crying Fits in 6 Year Old? Last post on 10/21/13 at 12:14am in Gentle Discipline
- Help, four year old hitting me and throwing things at me when angry Last post on 10/10/13 at 9:12am in Gentle Discipline
- Do you agree with taking away video games and computer for not turning in homework assignments... Last post on 11/4/13 at 3:57pm in Preteens and Teens
- My Emotional 5 YO DD Has Me at a Loss Last post on 9/24/13 at 9:18am in Parenting
Time Out from Time Out
Last edited: 11/14/13
- Kids in the House: the New Video Resource for FamiliesLast edited: 9/26/13
- Teaching Kids to Love and Trust ThemselvesLast edited: 7/23/13
- Agreeing to Disagree: Gentle Parenting Despite Criticism from Loved...Last edited: 7/16/13
- Pizza and Big EmotionsLast edited: 7/8/13
Potty regression, how to handlepost #1 of 32/23/12 at 5:14pmThread Starterpost #2 of 32/23/12 at 6:40pm
Has she explained why she's peeing on the carpet? Did she actually say it's because she "likes to"?
What if you explain to her that you need her to stop peeing on the carpet because that is wrecking the carpet. You need her to put her pee in the toilet or else you'll need her to wear a diaper for the pee to go into. See what she thinks. One of two things will happen: she'll realize that she doesn't want to wear diapers and she'll start using the toilet again, or she'll decide to go back into dipes (fingers crossed it's the former). Either way you'll save the carpet. It sounds like you're already considering the diapers, so you might as well present it to her in the hopes that she chooses the potty.
Another thought - is she hiding behind furniture when she pees? (Some kids get into the furtive toileting thing for some reason) If so maybe you could explain that she can't pee on the carpet (it's getting wrecked, mess for you to clean, etc), but that if she wants she could have a "secret potty" (potty placed behind the couch or whatever).
Oh yes, one other thought - perhaps you could get her involved in the clean-up. It might be that she doesn't want to quit playing to take the time to go to the toilet. If she needs to stop and do a big clean-up then it might show her that it isn't any less time consuming to just quickly use the potty.post #3 of 32/23/12 at 8:28pm
Wow, I just went through this. In fact, I'm still going to knock on wood, because I can't believe that my daughter doesn't pee and poop multiple times a day in her pants anymore..... I feel for you. It was SO hard for me. Kind of the same age and situation as you are in (pregnant, with an almost 4 year old already). In the last 2 months of my pregnancy with DS, my daughter basically quit using the potty for almost everything. She had been potty trained for probably a good 9 months like yours, too, occasional accidents, but doing pretty well. I tried quite a lot of things to get her re-energized about pottying (M&Ms again, made a potty chart). None of them worked. In hindsight, if I could have gotten her back into diapers, I would have, should have, but I didn't really try, because she was really resistant to that idea. Even when I told her, well, if you're going to wear the undies, then you need to use the potty. I did have her help clean up the messes, even the poop, and that was a disaster (the poop cleanup, not the pee). It was all really stressful. Finally, I had to just let it ALL go. As in, I didn't remind her to go potty any longer, I just cleaned it up when it happened, and kept telling her that she was in charge of whether or not she would put her pee and poo in the potty. I quit being interested in it altogether. Even when she went in the potty, I didn't even really get excited or praise her too much, because I figured she was doing it for HER, not for ME, and that is how it needed to be. If she mentioned it, I would say, "That's great!" or "Good for you!" but that was about it. I let it all go. And I think it took her a while to see that I really didn't care about her pottying anymore, and then she started doing it all herself again. Ok, so she doesn't ever wipe, or not well (gets skids in the undies) but I DON'T CARE because it's in the POTTY!!! WOO HOO!!! It all comes out in the wash/bath time anyhow. It was really hard for me to let it go, but I realized I had to, because she was in charge and that was it, and I was making it a power struggle. She did it before, and I had to trust that she could do it again, IF she wanted to. She just didn't want to at the time. I think it was a bit of a rebellion over the new baby, and also a way to have some control when things looked like they were going out of control, and they were.
I don't know if maybe you won't be able to get your daughter back on track easily or not. But if you try and it doesn't work, don't despair. You might just have to let go of all of it, and then when she wants to, she will use the potty. Knock on wood, mine did.
Best wishes to you!
- Kids in the House: the New Video Resource for Families
- › Welcome Babies! 48 seconds ago
- › Elimination diet and she is still having issues 58 seconds ago
- › Anyone Use Face Lotion with Feverfew? 2 minutes ago
- › Hip Labor 5 minutes ago
- › do vaccinations during pregnancy really protect the baby? 6 minutes ago
- › Anyone else with food aversions? 7 minutes ago
- › Advice for transitioning to child #3 8 minutes ago
- › We lost the baby 10 minutes ago
- › Pregnancy Symptoms 10 minutes ago
- › The Saner TTC and Graduates -- Cold Moon 11 minutes ago
- › Bear Stays Up for Christmas by rosemarievpaulson
- › The Night Before Christmas by rjdoghouse
- › The Polar Express by sassyfirechick
- › Polar Express by Melanie Mayo
- › The Return of the Light: Twelve Tales from Around the World for the... by Terry Stafford
- › The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Winter Solstice by Terry Stafford
- › The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative by Fembot
- › The Snow Queen by Astraia
- › The Snowy Day by janonia
- › Christmas in the Big Woods by Melanie Mayo
- › Five Free, Festive Ways to Have Fun at Christmas by Monica S
- › Cosleeping in a Coca-Cola Commercial by Brian Leaf
- › Terms and Conditions: BabyKicks and The... by Cynthia Mosher
- › Should You Care About the Photo of Gisele... by Monica S
- › Christmas Through Their Eyes by AmandaK
- › 6 Mistakes People Make When a Friend's... by momofnatasha
- › Hyland's Holiday Challenge Mothering... by JenniO11
- › Lead in Christmas Lights, Toxic Decorations... by Amy Serotkin
- › Can Attachment Parents Put Their Own... by KidsInTheHouse
- › Phases of a Nursling by OliviaHinebaugh