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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › am I the only one who is stunned by people who post their kid's birthday party photos to Facebook -- even though obviousy they didn't invite every local kid they know?
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am I the only one who is stunned by people who post their kid's birthday party photos to Facebook... - Page 3

post #41 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post


It doesn't particularly bother me to see pictures of parties that my child or myself weren't invited to.

 

I can see how seeing the pictures could be hurtful if you or your child were very, very close to the birthday child and felt excluded by not being invited. That's really the only situation where I could see a need to be extra sensitive about sharing photos.

 

 

 

 





I totally agree.
post #42 of 52

It honestly wouldn't bug me.. Most of the people I know though use facebook as a way to keep in touch with family so posting pictures is more like saying "Hey mom and dad look how much fun your grandkids are having". It doesn't bug me not to have my kids invited to a party either, honestly just means one less thing I have to worry about. Only way it would bug me is if the person went out of their way NOT to invite the kids and make it know they weren't inviting them. Then Id be a bit ticked, I don't like games like that.

post #43 of 52

I think it's pretty easy to be thoughtless when you don't actually see the people you might be offending. That's a problem with the internet as a whole. I don't think it really lends itself to fostering manners and common courtesy but rather self-absorbion and incivility. Some people are of course still courteous, but I think it's easy not be. So basically, no, I'm not surprised that people are doing something they wouldn't do in person, but I don't think you're crazy for finding it to be in poor taste either.

post #44 of 52
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Edited by JohnnysGirl - 7/29/12 at 12:13pm
post #45 of 52

It would totally bother me.  But, Facebook makes me crazy.  I'm way too private about information to feel comfortable reading things about people or willing to share my info. 

post #46 of 52

Dear OP,    I know what you mean.  I wouldn't say "stunned" but I do think it's thoughtless and a little rude. I teach my child not to talk about parties she's having or is invited to with children who might not be invited. I think among my adult friends that is also the general ettiquette.  Yet adults who are sensitive to other's feelings in person choose to disregard this online. It seems like internet manners are still being defined!  We are by no means social outcasts but I can still feel left out occasionally.  But I am a little sensitive and also sensitive to others' feelings who may be having a hard time or not feeling very included in the community. 

post #47 of 52

While I don't think I would take it personally (I really don't care who invites my kids and who doesn't), it does indeed irk me that people don't seem to know (or care about) etiquette. You should never talk about a party unless you know for sure that every person in earshot was invited.  We should be teaching that rule to our children, but we should already be following it.  As an adult, I understand that you have to make choices when planning a party. As a former middle schooler who remembers sitting at lunch listening to my classmates talk about parties and feeling so rejected and left out, I get angry when people don't consider other children's feelings.

post #48 of 52

I'm surprised no one has mentioned how inappropriate it is to post photos of other peoples children online without permission first. No matter how "private" your settings on facebook, those photos are now in the public domain.  Rare as it is, there really ARE situations where a child's photo online can lead to dangers for that child.

post #49 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by eeem View Post

I'm surprised no one has mentioned how inappropriate it is to post photos of other peoples children online without permission first. No matter how "private" your settings on facebook, those photos are now in the public domain.  Rare as it is, there really ARE situations where a child's photo online can lead to dangers for that child.



While I agree that it's inappropriate, most people don't seem to agree with us. People think it's okay to take pictures of people and do whatever. I stopped fighting my own mom about pictures of myself for the most part, as long as she doesn't make me pose or something.

 

The pictures aren't in the public domain though. "In the public domain" means works whose intellectual property rights are forfeited, expired, or inapplicable. Photos will be copyrighted to the photographer unless the photographer specifically says otherwise.

post #50 of 52

Okay, OP, so I was just on FB the other day, and one of my friends had posted pics of her child's 4 year old party. We had been invited to the first, second, and third birthdays, but apparently not the 4th. I was a little sad. :( We invited them to our son's 4th because she was part of this group of friends I have, and I felt I couldn't exclude one or two. But I guess she had no problem doing that!

 

But, I also get that maybe her DD just has a lot of other friends who are closer now. After all, it's her DD's party, and she shouldn't feel obligated to invite us because we've been friends. I guess. (!)

post #51 of 52
Thread Starter 
Right -- she shouldn't feel obligated to invite you ... but she also shouldn't be posting photos where you can see them! That's just rude, plain and simple. It's easy enough on FB to "block" specific people from individual posts, or better yet, just share the photos with people who were at the party and/or specific relatives (the child's grandparents) with whom you want to share them.
post #52 of 52

OP, I absolutely agree with you. The problem is that the massive worldwide advertising we do via our social media is just something that most of us don't think twice about, so most people don't even realize that in non-virtual life that same thing would be completely rude! People post things with one click and don't really think about the fact that they're reaching a huge number of people. You can know this, however, and maybe try not to take it personally. It has happened to me, also.

 

I think it's a huge problem in our culture generally, and when our kids are old enough that they are using social media, it becomes an even worse problem.

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