Hi mamas and dads =) My name is Kristi and I am new to this section of MDC. My daughter was diagnosed with a "mood disorder" just yesterday, although I had already knew this was probably coming, it was still hard to digest. I admit I cried, got angry, cried some more, and now I am feeling overwhelmed, sad, stressed but ready to dive in to find her and my husband and I the help we need. Mood disorder wise, they are talking about possible bi polar, definitely an anxiety issue, possible ODD, definite sensory issues and I don't know what else. I really like our psychologist, she doesn't want to rush to a label or to meds. She said the big thing right now is helping me and my husband learn how to work with her, how to find our best parenting strategies specially for her and management. And play therapy for her to help her learn to "self regulate." She did say that usually, with children like her, it usually leads to medication in the future. but were not going there, yet. First and foremost I want to try everything natural I can possibly try or rule out first. I am interested in getting food allergy testing, maybe some kind of evaluation to make sure its not something medical, vitamin and mineral difficiencies or heavy metal toxicities. If anyone has any good info or resources for me please feel free to post. I am open to ANYTHING at this point.
If interested here is a summary of her "symptoms"
*argumentative over EVERYTHING
*calculated decisions to annoy you or make you mad. Ex: after a struggle to try and convince her to get un dressed to change her clothes, she takes her shoes off that are full of sand, looks at me and turns them upside down on my carpet, with a smirk.
*outburts/tantrums many many times a day that result it breaking things or hurting me.
*easily upset, frustrated with herself and others(which causes an outburst)
*hard for her to relate to other kids as she gets older. She ONLY wants to play what she wants, which is animals.
*screaming when shes upset, doesn't get her way, to make you mad etc.
*threatening to scream if you don't do what she wants "then I'm going to scream really loud!"
*if say I put her on a time out, usually for an aggressive behavior like hitting or kicking (i have to physically restrain her for the start or she will hit/kick/bite/headbutt/pinch etc me.) if she can't get to hurting me sometimes she results to biting herself pretty hard.
*so negative. Everything is SUCH a big deal. upsets her so easily. its actually very sad to watch.its like she lacks the ability to let some things just roll of her back
*sometimes I think she says no to things just or the power struggle. because if I just get tired and give up. suddenly shell do it. like she won, now shell do it on her terms.
*she started with only being aggressive to me, and now its branching out to other people she is more comfortable with like my parents and my husband.
*she is NOT aggressive with other kids at all. Just more shy.
*good at school, but shy and anxious about things. Like every morning she stressed about not wanting to eat lunch there? she has some friends sometimes, but not a lot. I think because she has such a limited amount of interests (animals) its hard for other kids to want to play with her sometimes. (side note: she goes to a great Montessori school, and actually loves her teachers very much. and is starting to be very interested in learning some things, where before she wanted nothing to do with learning the alphabet, numbers, writing etc. She still can't write her name, recognize all the letters, say the alphabet correctly, just learned to count to 20 since school started etc. shes behind compared to the other kids her age that have been in montessori for a while, but definitely getting there. I'm so proud of her.
*shy at school and social situations
*so angry about everything. I am constantly saying to my husband, "I don't understand what she is so angry about all the time? like what can be so wrong in her life?"
*sensory issues with sound, smell, clothes, over stimulation
*hard for her to get to sleep/settle down
*afraid of a lot of things lately. dark/noises/being alone
*very anxious about separation from me (unless its with one of her people she loves.) I can't even leave one room to go to the other without her calling "mama!!!" out in a panic. she has to be right near me.
*starting reckless behavior, like running ahead of me running out to the street etc. when she never was like that when she was younger
Oh and did I mention I am 6 months pregnant due the first week of June? I am so nervous about whats to come for her and our family with this new change. Please tell me that it gets better? I am just so so sad, for all of us. and exhausted. oh so exhausted. and I feel selfish feeling so sad because I know many people have it much harder.
If you made it through all of this, you are simply amazing ;) Thank you so much in advance. I knew MDC would be the right place to turn for help!
ETA: I never said her age. she will be 5 in 3 weeks. this has been going on since she was very young and gets worse every year. She was always a high needs baby and I practiced mostly AP stuff. Co sleeping/Breastfeeding until 18 months, no hitting, no yelling, etc...