LOL Smithie. That reminds me of when my husband was filling out one of the sheets, and he checked off that I was "moody". I said "What the heck, I am NOT moody!" He says "To be fair you are being moody right now."
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Talking About Adoption...Honestly
Edited on 11/7/12
- Transracial adoptionEdited on 4/4/13
- Adoption And Foster Parenting ResourcesEdited on 1/29/12
TTA (trying to adopt) Chat Thread - Page 7post #121 of 2619/9/12 at 7:23pmpost #122 of 2619/16/12 at 5:57am
Mountainmama: I'm glad the second visit went better!
AFU: Our first visit, the "safety check," is this week. Or next week. We really don't know yet. It will be some time after this Tuesday. That's all we know. I'm about to go insane cleaning and scrubbing this house to within an inch of its life.
Someone tell me this isn't really a visit to rule us out....post #123 of 2619/16/12 at 6:49pm
MountainMama: Did you get your approval yet?
rs11: I think the safety check is just that. Did you get a checklist of all the things you need to complete? Friends of ours who went through one gave us the advice to overthink everything on the list. They have an antique stone fireplace and the licensing analyst wanted them to screw their fireplace screen into the stone! Instead they had their fireplace decommissioned. Do you know the person who is doing the check?
AFM - our first inspection is finally scheduled - October 10th. Considering it was supposed to be done 4 months ago, I am excited that we are finally moving forward. DH and I said if they hadn't visited by November 1st we were going to start over with an agency rather than DCFS. Luckily, it seems like we don't have to start over.post #124 of 2619/17/12 at 5:18am
PUH: Congrats on getting it scheduled! According to the inspector, we don't have to have ANYTHING done before he comes out; he's supposedly going to give us a checklist of things to have done before the second visit. It seems a little strange to me, and we are trying to get child safety latches and so forth on before he comes regardless.post #125 of 2619/17/12 at 7:29ampost #126 of 2619/25/12 at 2:59pmpost #127 of 2619/26/12 at 8:59am
October 10th seemed so far off a couple weeks ago. Now hubby is super busy (working with the Biebs - but that is another story!) and I have been struggling with a cold that turned to pneumonia. I think that I am going to have to invite all my friends over for a house cleaning party on October 9th. Nothing seems to be getting done around here.post #128 of 2619/26/12 at 4:06pmQuote:Originally Posted by PoorUglyHappy
October 10th seemed so far off a couple weeks ago. Now hubby is super busy (working with the Biebs - but that is another story!) and I have been struggling with a cold that turned to pneumonia. I think that I am going to have to invite all my friends over for a house cleaning party on October 9th. Nothing seems to be getting done around here.
um...as in JB?? if so...dont save that story!!! do tell!post #129 of 2619/27/12 at 12:24pmpost #130 of 2619/27/12 at 7:44pmpost #131 of 26110/10/12 at 12:31pm
Well, we didn't pass our safety inspection. We need a second crib, window screens for the very old windows in our 1920s house, to fix the walls and ceiling in the bathroom which were at one point damaged by a leak. My doc was not specific enough on my physical so I need to get them to fill out another form. Luckily, we get one more chance and now we have a specific set of things that we need to fix. The next appointment is on Oct 25th which doesn't give us much time to get the things done that need to be done.
Argggh. I am so frustrated with this process.post #132 of 26110/10/12 at 1:06pm
PUH, it seems south of the border they focus more on the actual home, and up here they focus more on our personal lives. Good luck for the next one.
Our homestudy got caught up when my FIL said my MIL was bipolar. She didnt handle the divorce too well, but she is not bipolar. I dont even know what compelled him to say that. So we are just waiting to sort that one out. Its not a big deal that she would be bipolar, but she is not.post #133 of 26110/10/12 at 9:00pm
LOL! about the bipolar comment. I say those sorts of things off the cuff all the time so I understand what your FIL was implying. We do have the personal side of things to do as well. Here they split up the safety side that is done by the state and the personal stuff that is done by the county. The state takes so long to do their thing so the county places a hold on your application until that is all done. Most people wait at most 2 months for the state. For us, it has been 6 months. Our state analyst took a long leave of absence so that held up things on that front. We found out today that it was because her husband died. I guess that is like my job- if I take a leave of absence, it means nothing gets done and I just have more work to do when I get back. So I felt some sympathy for her.
In the meantime, we just spent $150 on supplies to make window screens for all of our old, janky windows.post #134 of 26110/11/12 at 7:01am
Yay for home repairs. We just finished our basement this summer. We turned it into a suite with bathroom and kitchenette to generate some income to pay it off. I forgot to add that one of my good friends is pregnant, due in May and offered to be a milk donor. I told her I would buy her a pump to use at home. What a precious gift!! I am so happy about that. I have another friend that may be pregnant soon as well and she is also going to donate milk. I have a deep freezer to keep it so thats good.post #135 of 26110/13/12 at 3:07pm
Hello, hello, hello! It feels so good to have a reason to be back on MDC. I've been here before, a long time ago, when I was TTC#1. After a couple cycles of donor insemination using different donors. I decided to take a break and reevaluate my priorities. I certainly wanted to be pregnant and experience the joys and the challenges but I wanted to parent a child more than anything so I decided to adopt. I'd always thought I would eventually adopt anyway, it just didn't happen they way I thought. After interviewing a couple of non-profit adoption agencies I chose one that places children from foster care into adoptive homes. I've completed the orientation and the interview and now I am in the stage of training, applications, and background checks. I hope to matched by this time next year.
I've been reading the archives and I feel like I'm learning so much. Thank you all for your open and honest posts.
post #136 of 26110/13/12 at 5:46pm
Welcome to the TTAdopt Journey Newbian Mama! I think there are a few of us who went from TTC#1 to here on MDC. I think filling out paperwork is more fun then trips to the fertility clinic ending in disappointment - but that is why I chose this route over ART. I'd love to hear more about your reproductive journey as well, if you feel like sharing.
MountainMama - hooray for breastmilk donations! My MIL insists that I should buy breastmilk from a milk bank if I get an infant placement. However, there are a ton of hoops to jump through on that as well. So do you have renters living in your basement now? I've thought for a while about renting a room through Air BnB... I am just a little scared of strangers in the house.
AFM - The house repairs saga has gotten crazy. We had walls damaged by a leak that we thought we fixed. Well, it rained in LA on Thursday. This is the first time it has rained in 5 months or so. Our leak came back or a new leak started, we are not sure. So DH decided to replace that part of the roof entirely. The roof came off that part of the house. Then we found old termite damage. (No active termites which is lucky.) So some spackle and paint turned into a new roof, replacing the roof framing and overlayment and then we can fix the drywall in the bathroom. Home ownership can really suck.post #137 of 26110/13/12 at 6:03pm
In Canada all pregnant women are screened for Hep and HIV. She doesnt take medication other than the occasional advil. I have known my friend for years, so its a bit better than finding a donor off the internet. However you can heat breastmilk to kill pathogens. Its still easy to digest although some of the antibodies may get killed.post #138 of 26110/14/12 at 2:14pmPUH - those repairs do not sound fun at all. Of course now that they're complete you don't have to worry about the roof for the next 30 years. It still sucks now though.
Thanks for welcoming me as well. I've been away for so long that I don't see any names I recognize except for a couple and they're not in this thread. I don't really have a reproductive journey, per se. I'm single, then and now, so I chose to become pregnant by anonymous sperm donation. I inseminated less than a dozen times over six years, stopping and starting due to various reasons. Back in 2010 when I decided to inseminate every month for at least a year no matter what my cycles went haywire and I stopped ovulating. I think it was all the stress because I'm quite regular now. All that lead me to the realization that I wasn't going to get pregnant using frozen sperm so I switched my plan to private domestic adoption. After months of searching I finally found literally one agency that I could consciously use and I started saving money toward the $15k for the adoption. Just last month my aunt mentioned a local non-profit that placed children from foster care into adoptive homes. It took me all of 4 hours to contemplate, consider, then choose that route. I went to an orientation for that agency and another I'd found through a search. I liked both agencies very much and it was tiny little things which elevated one agency over the other. I chose that agency and learned last week that they accepted me into their program. So that's where I am now. Okay, I guess I did have a bit of a journey
I'm in N. CA by the way. Does your county place kids from counties down there only or from all over CA? I know lots of agencies don't want to work across our "borders" so to speak. Fresno seems to be the cutoff point for those agencies. I haven't read all your previous posts but it seems that you and your husband are going diercly through the county? Have you had to specify the age range and identify the challenges you can handle yet? Every time I think I've made that decision I change my mind! Also are you adopting one child or a sibling group?
I hope everyone is having an enjoyable Sunday.post #139 of 26110/14/12 at 5:39pm
Newbian Mama, congrats on pursuing adoption as a single parent. I've adopted three kids via foster care adoption (plus i have one bio who is off at college now!) and will probably pursue the adoption of 1 or 2 more next year.
post #140 of 26110/14/12 at 6:46pmThank you so much. I may be coming to you for help and advice since you've BTDT! It's funny that my agency assured me they worked with singles and were fine with my status; I never even considered it would be an issue. That was until I was browsing the Interwebs and saw some counties still advise for a two-parent home and even one county, (San Bernardino) which stated a baby or toddler must have a SAHM! I guess it does matter to some. I remember reading your posts some time ago and I can't believe your eldest is already in college! That's awesome. When you adopted your kids from foster care did you go through the county/state or an agency? What was the process like, if you don't mind sharing.
I'll receive my application and paperwork requests sometime next week then it's on to fingerprints, CPR, and digging out my birth certificate.
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