TTA (trying to adopt) Chat Thread - Page 4

[kellannolin]

Thanks Smithie-  Sometimes everything just feels bad with this system.

[MountainMamaGC]

Originally Posted by excitedtobeamom 

We were told that we could always say no to a potential match so we left things a bit open and just thought and talked through each situation we were presented with.  We ended up saying yes to 4 situations before we were matched with our son.  In the other 4 situations they picked a different family  He ended up being completely healthy with no risk factors.  All the time and thought about different situations and then our son was the easy one.  Our agency would call and say here is the situation can we present you.  The training really helped us actually understand the checklist better and we became more open.

This is what I was leaning toward. A lot of the questions, I thought to myself, we dont know enough about that to say yes or no. For instance, I understand that HIV is more like a chronic illness than a death sentence. I think I could live with that. Disabilities that restrict mobility would not be a good match for us as we live in a 3 floor townhouse, in a small mountain town. So I think we would like to take it case by case. 

[deborahbgkelly]

I intend to stalk this thread, but DH and I aren't quite ready to pursue adoption yet. 

[deborahbgkelly]

I intend to stalk this thread, but DH and I aren't quite ready to pursue adoption yet. 

[PoorUglyHappy]

Hi Everyone, I have decided to join you all!  

After 2+ years of TTC, hubby and I are now TTAdopt!   We are doing the fost-to-adopt thing as I know some of you are.   We are getting the house ready for our state inspection (In CA) which should happen by the second week of July.   I've heard the horror stories and I've also heard the good stories as well, so I am trying to be cautiously excited about welcoming a new child into our home.    

[blueyezz4]

I'd like to join you all!!!!  I've been quietly following along for a few days now and figured I should introduce myself.  DH and I tried on our own for maybe a year and then moved onto ART.  After 3 IUI's we finally got pregnant w/ twin boys, but went into pre-term labor at 22.5 wks and they were born perfect, but peacefully asleep.  We tried 3 more IUI's w/ the same protocol once we were ready w/ no luck and then moved on to IVF.  Our first IVF we got a BFP which resulted in a m/c at about 10-11 wks and then we did 5 more IVF's (fresh/frozen) w/ no luck.  We are now trying to figure out if we are just not ment to have children or if we should travel down the adoption route.   So, I just figured this would be a good place to be to learn a little more from all of you that are going through the process.
 

[MountainMamaGC]

Welcome to the thread ladies.

We have just started the process for domestic adoption. On Friday we are attending our agency's adoption seminar, as required by provincial law. We are just about done the application, and we will be mailing it in tomorrow. After these 2 things, we will be waiting for the home study. I hope we have the home study done by fall, because as soon as that's done we will be on the list.

I also just wrapped up some counseling to help deal with grieving the infertility and losses I had. I think its very cathartic to do as adoption is not a cure for infertility. I

I will let you all know how Friday goes when I return.

[MountainMamaGC]

For those that are starting out or unsure that this is the right path I found this blog had many helpful questions to ask yourself.

http://ouradopt.com/content/adoption-readiness-assessment

[Mom31]

There are some useful conversations going on at adoptive families circle.

[PoorUglyHappy]

Blueyezz4 - It looks like you have gone through so much!   I know that roller coaster is tough; I think you are right about reconsidering your options at this point. 

Deborah - I've been following a bit of your saga in the IF one thread - I never posted but always lurked.   :)  I've never been able to make the decision for ART so I never felt right about joining that thread despite my infertility.  

AFM - we are done all of our paperwork and classes - we are just waiting on the state and the county to come do inspections.   I have already been waiting 2 months for the state - they state on the application that it will be within 30 days.  LOL - why even write that on the application.    I was told currently there are 1200 kids without beds in foster care in Los Angeles - yet they won't hire extra bodies to get through the paperwork.   It is totally crazy.  

[SimplyRochelle]

We filled out all our paperwork this week!!! All we have left to do is go get fingerprinted, get our stuff notarized, and then make the call with the adoption specialist so she can come do an in home visit and schedule our PRIDE classes and official homestudy!!!! I am so excited that this is actually happening!

[PoorUglyHappy]

Rochelle!  I am going to be quite jealous when I see how quickly your application process goes!  Everything is slower in California.  I am excited for you, though and I am going to be happy to have someone to compare notes with on how things work for this journey.  

Even though we aren't schedule for our inspection yet, we set up the crib yesterday.  We are putting together a couple of ikea dressers today.  That is the only furniture we are required to have for our state inspection.   The rest is all safety stuff - locking up meds and knives and having smoke detectors and fire extinguishers.    

[deborahbgkelly]

PoorUglyHappy- Hi. Blue- Hi to you too. I'm going to my CORE training in July to be a Foster Family Helper. We aren't quite at the point of pursuing adoption yet, but I felt/feel like helping out in the foster care system is a good way to honor my boys.

[MountainMamaGC]

We have complete the workshop and our application. Now we have started building our profile to give to the agency. I have been looking at samples online to get an idea of what to include.

[deborahbgkelly]

Good luck Mountain Mama!

[deborahbgkelly]

Good luck Mountain Mama!

[MountainMamaGC]

Thanks.

We are done the profile books. I used photo bucket to make them. I wrote about DH and DH wrote about me. I think its better that way. I cant wait to see them.

[Mom31]

I like the idea about writing about each other.... my cousin is adopting again and their "ad" sounds funny to me because she is writing it but calls herself by name in the first person- as if someone else wrote it- but in other places calls herself  "I"
 

[MountainMamaGC]

I just found out my 19 YO niece is pregnant. You think you are ok but news like this can be a sucker punch in the gut. I am sure she is capable of being a good mom, and I can be there for her as she is estranged from everyone right now, and I think I am the first one to know. But first I must have a good cry.

[Mom31]

I got pregnant at 22 when my cousin and his wife were ttc.  It was touchy I am sure... they did go on to adopt... right after I had my son and then my daughter.  they are now trying to adopt again- they are in their fifties and want a newborn- I could not imagine having a newborn after 50...  but regardless I remember feeling very guilty and I think there are posts on here about that...