I don't dislike ballet, and I actively like the Little House on the Prairie books (not so much the show). ...... I want to make sure I am clear, because if I am not clear to other adults, I definitely won't be to a child...... I would also like, in general, for there to be more toys that boys and girls can play with together, pass down to each other, talk about together, etc.
much of what you say makes perfect sense to me and I felt very much the same way. When my children were small, we would do things like buy a dolly and a dump truck. We never saw one as better than the other, or one as a girl toy and the other as a boy toy.
Both my children are girls, and we have a Lego collection that is the envy of every boy who sees it (and none of the legos are pink). Both my DDs are now teens and not tied into gender stereotypes. Yet they both have moments when they like to dress to the 9s and do their hair and make up. It's all good -- it's all fun.
I've read aloud to them a great deal, and when they were young, they told ME they didn't like the Little House series because they are all about the time when women had no power, parent hit their children, and whites considered themselves better than the Native Americans. They also through the religious stuff was nuts. We ended up ditching the series after the 2nd book. I also tried reading Little Women to them, and it was a total bust. Jo is a snotty little brat in the book -- she's so much more reasonable in the movie.
We've done better with more recently written books because they have stronger female characters. Harry Potter, for example, has GREAT female characters.
Anyway, when a child is small, a parent has total control over TV, movies, books, and music. That goes away as they get older. We avoided that icky stuff when they kids were little, and when we couldn't avoid it anymore, it wasn't that big of a deal. The kids were grounded in something more solid that Disney, so discovering Disney couldn't screw them up.
My children attend a progressive school with lots of hands on learning. There is an animal center with goats and chickens, a green house, a shop area (where one of my DDs learned to weld), and art center with pottery wheels and a kiln, etc. They have an outdoor skills program and the children go backpacking, fishing, camping, hiking, exploring in caves, etc. Children are allowed to dress pretty much anyway they want, and if a child wanted to come to school dressed as a Disney princess no one would stop them. None the less, they spend their day DOING things and learning they are competent, which, to me, is important than what they wear. (the school is also academic - one of my kids is totally into her Latin class, the other enjoys classic literature.)
(personally, I think that in the long run, forbidding things like Barbie and Disney does more harm than good, turning them into forbidden fruit. We avoided as long as possible, and then just down played.)
About half the teachers and students are vegetarian, and there is always a vegetarian options at dinners, field trips, etc. One of my DDs is currently in a cooking class, and there is always an option to make the dish vegetarian, though not necessarily vegan. An unwillingness to eat meat OR cheese could be problematic. Most kids eat cheese. Few children eat beans.
BUT -- I don't think you can pick a school for a child without knowing the child. I love my kids' school. It's amazing. I feel lucky and blessed. But I have at times questioned if it was the best option for one of my children. For my other child, it's a perfect fit.