Son is starting Daycare and is not vaccinated... a little words of wisdom please!

[AurorasMommy]

Hi :)

I have not actually posted on Mothering in a LONG TIME. I am still a lurker :)

Some may remember my daughter Aurora, she had a reaction to her DTaP vaccine at 8 weeks old, leading her to have her first seizure and then an intercranial bleed.

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/405962/my-3-month-old-brain-bleed-after-dtap-shot

I posted the link above... to read about her story. She is now 6 years old, and has Intractable Epilepsy... and is fully unvaxed. We filed a Vaccine Law Claim when she was 13 weeks old... and I just currently took the stand 7 months ago! As of right now, her doctors do recognize giving her a medical exemption. You can read about my daughters journey here if you want... http://thelovelyhuskfamily.blogspot.com/

Anyways.... I have a son who just turned 4 last month, and a 2 1/2 year old son. My 4 year old has attended preschool on and off for the past year and has done really well. We filed a Religious exemption for him... However my 2 1/2 year old has just been home with me. No daycare, no play group... Just home with Momma!

I was offered a job and I start next week. And I do have a daycare picked out for him. BUT, of course I end up with these intense fears that I cannot control. Alot of this steams from what I have gone through with my daughter, and when I start getting panicky about a sickness or anything really it consumes me. I have come a long ways on how I was... but unfortunately I can still get myself worked up!

My biggest fear is Meningitis. I own almost every vaccine book, even the Red Book. So I know how it works, I know that its rare, I know that vaccinated kids get it, and I know unvaccinated kids get it. I guess I just need some reassurance that me putting him in daycare he will be ok. I have been battling "WITH MYSELF" about the fact that what if I put him in daycare and he gets Meningitis! Please dont judge me, I do that too myself plenty enough. Just looking for kind caring words of encorgament, so that I dont feel like I want to turn my job offer down because I cant get over a fear. I guess what it comes down to is that I know at a certain age (5 years??? I think) That the chances of getting Meningitis decrease even more... I just feel like he is still young and more suspectiable. However, I need the money to live better, have a better relationship with my husband, and he needs to socialize, and be with other kids his age, and learn to be independent, and have fun!!!!!

Thanks a lot for listening!! And please throw anything you got at me... I need to read read read to make myself feel better! I just get so worried that ANYTHING can happen, no matter HOW RARE, because I lived this out with my daughter. Her reaction to her vaccine is 1-Million yet it happened to her. So I have lived with this for the past 6 years! Knowing that even though things are rare, will myself or my children be another "rare" case?

[Racecarma]

I am sorry to hear about your daughter's reaction.  I have had my own and I know how devastating it can be but even more now as a mother, I take this issue very seriously.  I feel that there will always be risks when it comes to illness but our bodies have a complex immune system and are in fact designed to fight illness.  Yes, it is true they may not always win that battle.  Meningitis does scare me a little too, as we had family friends who lost 2 children to it 40 years ago.  This still did not sway my choice NOT to vaccinate my boys (7 & 3).  You see, it was a vaccine that gave me encephalitis (swelling of the brain.)  So the so-called cure is what nearly killed me.

So, the question becomes, do you fear the risk percentage of your child contracting the illness more than actually taking a calculated risk that your son will not have a reaction to the vaccine? 

I am in my 40s and was never vaccinated as a child.  I had a lot of the childhood illnesses, so I know my immune system was strong enough to survive back then.  Now I have full immunity to those illnesses whereas the vaccine route does not confer even the guarantee of immunity let alone a guarantee of no dangerous side effects.

I am convinced our family has a genetic makeup that is at risk for vaccine reactions because there is auto-immune history in my famly and two other immediate family members have had vaccine reactions when vaccinated as adults.  

Since you cannot know prior to vaccination if you will have a reaction, it is kind of a Russian roullete risk you take when you purposefully inject chemicals, toxins, havy metals, dna and other unknown pathogens into an otherwise healthy body.  

I would never tell anyone what choice to make as that is a very personal decision.  I think choice IS CRITICAL because we cannot force people to say their child is less important than another. Some children "seem" unaffected by multiple vaccines while others are devastated by just ONE.  Some people are allergic to nuts, eggs, shellfish, gluten you name it.  No two people are alike and we can't force people to medicate.

Do some research on the number of cases of meningitis in daycare settings and the outcomes.  If you do choose to vaccinate, I urge you to look up Dr. Russell Blaylock's website.  He is a retired MD Neurosurgeon who has done in depth studies of vaccines.  He has a paper he wrote on what to do to help your body and brain if you must get a vaccine.  Perhaps those tips can help stem possible negative effects to the immune system and brain.

I wish you good luck in your decision.

[ASusan]

I remember reading about your daughter's journey.

Not much time to post, but I wanted to offer you support.

We send son to daycare at 10 mos, unvaxed. He had his first shot at age 4 ( a few months ago) - in the allergist's office. He's been in daycare full-time from 10 months to today. He is one of the healthiest there.

Menengitis is extremely rare, as are many of the other vax illnesses. Some of them (chix pox), you may even WANT your child to get/be exposed to, as it confers longer immunity than a vax would.

[emmy526]

You should start by contacting the daycare nurse, and see how many cases of meningitis were in the daycare in the previous two years.  Also call the health dep't and see how many cases were reported in your county... that should give you either some piece of mind about the situation, and it might help you decide what is going to be best for you and your family... if going to work is going to cause such anxiety over health issues, is it really worth it to go to work?  Or do you think working will help with the anxiety?

[lokidoki]

Whenever I find the fear getting the best of me ~ I go to reading stats on the particular things I am fearing. More often than not ~ that is enough to ease my mind and make me feel better. Sadly I think we are made to feel like vaccinating removes any chances of getting sick ~ even though we all know that is not the case ~ and for some reason gives a false sense of security. Just focus forward on how to boost the immune system and keep right on tracking along. DS1 last had shots at 4 months of age (he is now almost 6) ~ and he is one of the healthiest kids I know. He gets sick no more than about once a year and his symptoms are always very mild (recently we had a virus go through our house ~ the rest of us got fevers but not DS1). He has been in a daycare/preschool setting since he was 15 months old ~ and is now in public kindergarten. He has done just fine (better than the other kids actually)...and now DS2 is in the same daycare/preschool setting and is not vaxed at all...and is doing really well.

It is hard to feel like you are the only fish swimming upstream...because there is a lot of fear mongering and propaganda out there trying to convince us to swim along with the current...so I do understand!