I have not actually posted on Mothering in a LONG TIME. I am still a lurker :)
Some may remember my daughter Aurora, she had a reaction to her DTaP vaccine at 8 weeks old, leading her to have her first seizure and then an intercranial bleed.
I posted the link above... to read about her story. She is now 6 years old, and has Intractable Epilepsy... and is fully unvaxed. We filed a Vaccine Law Claim when she was 13 weeks old... and I just currently took the stand 7 months ago! As of right now, her doctors do recognize giving her a medical exemption. You can read about my daughters journey here if you want... http://thelovelyhuskfamily.blogspot.com/
Anyways.... I have a son who just turned 4 last month, and a 2 1/2 year old son. My 4 year old has attended preschool on and off for the past year and has done really well. We filed a Religious exemption for him... However my 2 1/2 year old has just been home with me. No daycare, no play group... Just home with Momma!
I was offered a job and I start next week. And I do have a daycare picked out for him. BUT, of course I end up with these intense fears that I cannot control. Alot of this steams from what I have gone through with my daughter, and when I start getting panicky about a sickness or anything really it consumes me. I have come a long ways on how I was... but unfortunately I can still get myself worked up!
My biggest fear is Meningitis. I own almost every vaccine book, even the Red Book. So I know how it works, I know that its rare, I know that vaccinated kids get it, and I know unvaccinated kids get it. I guess I just need some reassurance that me putting him in daycare he will be ok. I have been battling "WITH MYSELF" about the fact that what if I put him in daycare and he gets Meningitis! Please dont judge me, I do that too myself plenty enough. Just looking for kind caring words of encorgament, so that I dont feel like I want to turn my job offer down because I cant get over a fear. I guess what it comes down to is that I know at a certain age (5 years??? I think) That the chances of getting Meningitis decrease even more... I just feel like he is still young and more suspectiable. However, I need the money to live better, have a better relationship with my husband, and he needs to socialize, and be with other kids his age, and learn to be independent, and have fun!!!!!
Thanks a lot for listening!! And please throw anything you got at me... I need to read read read to make myself feel better! I just get so worried that ANYTHING can happen, no matter HOW RARE, because I lived this out with my daughter. Her reaction to her vaccine is 1-Million yet it happened to her. So I have lived with this for the past 6 years! Knowing that even though things are rare, will myself or my children be another "rare" case?