I think we waited 3 months before even trying. It was just a no-no zone for me for that long. I was still getting used to baby, sleepless nights, and breast feeding, so sex wasn't really a priority for me (my hubby wasn't too interested either after watching what that "zone" had gone through.. Lol) but when we finally did, it hurt for me too. Still at 3 months. I tore as well during delivery, not sure how bad, but bad enough that it would hurt if I was on my feet too much in a day.
I'd say I was back to normal around 4-5 months PP, like no pain at all. But I'd say that after our first time PP, it got easier and easier every time.
I did read a little bit about some doctors stitching a little more than they're supposed to, which really scared me. I worried that that's what happened to me. But I'm glad that the pain ceased eventually. I also read about PP perenium massage (sp?) Maybe something you could look up and read about.
Maybe if your really worried about it, you could ask your doctor or midwife to check to make sure everything is healing properly. Or hopefully another Mama can answer as to what a normal healing time should be.
Hope everything turns out well! God bless
Edited to say: my midwife had told me to use lubrication when we tried for the first time PP. And I'd say that lubrication was extremely important through those first 4-5 months. It was the only way I could get through it.
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