Edited by WindyCityMom - 2/27/12 at 10:26am
I'm anxious to know too. In the fall of 2009, when DD1 was newly 3 and DD2 was a newborn, DD1 talked and talked and talked about her two little brothers. One was older and one was younger. The older one was most often talked about. His name was Solen. It was wild, magical, and a little scary. She'd announced "My sister is coming" and talked about a sister at length the fall before, and sure enough her sister was conceived about a month later. I wasn't interested in another pregnancy quite yet. DH and I have always talked about having 4 kids. Since then, I've been rather convinced that we'd have 2 boys. I strongly felt like there were 2 more children in our family, we just hadn't met them yet. DH and I have referred to the theoretical #3 as Solen for years (though we haven't been calling the little one in utero by that name). According to the Chinese gender chart, this is a boy (though we just made it in that range by about 24 hours).
However, the more I think about it, the more I want another girl. It somehow sounds more manageable. A girl would be able to wear the sweet hand-me-downs from the girls I'm so attached to. A girl would make room sharing over the years easier. I feel like I know how to do a girl. I love the idea of having a little troop of girls. Of course, a third girl would be her very own personality, and wouldn't necessarily like the same things my older girls like. Still, it feels more known. We haven't so much as mentioned coming up with girl names.
A boy feels destined to happen, but somehow feels more foreign. I'm 99% certain we'd name him Solen, though we've debated middle names to go with it.
I feel more and more tempted the more prgnancies we have to find out the gender!! But.. we didn't even have an u/s at all with the last two.. and really don't plan to this time, so at least there won't be that temptation. DH is stronger than me in that regard. He is quite adamant about NOT finding out (though truly, if I told him I NEEDED TO KNOW he'd cave... if we even *GOT* an u/s!).
Personally, I love having four girls. I love hand-me-downs, I love seeing the wonderful bond they share thus far. I love knowing they'll always have each other to rely on for the rest of their lives.
And.. after having four girls, I can only really think *girl* thoughts! Like, in regards to the gender of said baby baking in my womb right now. The thought of a boy sounds kind of fun and magical (in a foreign kind of way), but honestly, if we had a boy this time, we would *have* to have a sixth child (which we very well might anyway) because I would loathe the comments of, "So... you finally got your boy..." as if my four girls were just mistakes along the way :/ We just like *babies*. We're not *trying* for any gender.
Although... I almost wish dd4 had been a boy... we had the most wonderful boy names picked out! (LOL... I'm totally kidding... I love my sweet littlest girl to pieces and she is the perfect Hazel Jane :) ). If she would have been a 'he'... the name would have been either Elias, Leo, or August (with a middle name of Michael).
I love thinking of names. I feel like it's some weird hobby of mine... and I guess NOT finding out the gender just lets me think of even more ;)
I read about the baking soda test today? Anybody ever done it? I did it, must because it's way cheaper than the intelligender test. It didn't fizz up so that means girl. Also, I did two of the chinese gender chart tests. and they both said girl. Hmm...my mommy gut is telling me girl too. Also, we dtd three days before I got pregnant, so I'm thinking this might be another little missy. We will see...I think I just don't want a boy because I dread the discussion about circumcision. DS is circed and back then I just didn't do my homework. I let DH decide and that was it. I know so much more now and I just don't want to bring the subject up.
Well the link you put in that was right for both your girls said it's gonna be a boy...oh boy. I also tried it for DS and DD and both came out right...I should not get all excited about having a little girl. I will be happy about a boy too, it's only the circ issue that I hate to bring up. That is really the only thing that keeps me from being excited that this might be a boy.
Yep, circ is tricky. When I was pregnant with DD2 I dreaded her being a boy because I didn't want to have that talk with DH. I talked to him afterwards and he was weirded out by the idea of NOT doing circ, but he has come around to it since then. My midwive writes it in your chart and they're good about making sure wishes get followed through with- and only the mother can give permission to do the circ while still in the hospital, not the father.
I looked into one of those ultrasound places... I could get an ultrasound with gender determination, DVD, CD with images and quick 4d peek (though those weird me out) for $39. As early as 15 weeks. Tempting...
We didn't find out genders with our 2 boys, but now my older son (almost 4) *really* wants a little sister. I almost think it would be easier on him if we found out early, but I find that the mystery really gives me something else to think about during those last few, uncomfortable months.
That said, I've never given a second thought to the fact that all of my friends, hippie and conventional, have found out genders if they could. My sister *really* wanted to know, but my niece just wasn't cooperating that day!
We won't be finding out. I like the surprise and don't have strong preferences either way. I also don't generally think that "boy" or "girl" actually tells you much about the little person that they will become so I like to wait and avoid the stereotypes at least until the baby is born. lol.
Because this is almost certainly our last baby (like, there's no way I'm doing this again on purpose, lol) I'm even more certain I don't want to find out. I think if I found out early I'd have a little disappointment no matter what sex the baby is. If it's a boy, I'll be a little sad that my DD won't ever have a sister and if it's a girl I'll be a little sad that I won't have a chance to raise a boy. However I know if I find out while actually meeting our baby, there won't be any room for disappointment whatsoever.
That being said, I think lots of "crunchy" parents find out if they are having an US anyway. I don't think it has any affect on your standing as a natural parent. lol
We're not planning on finding out. DH is dead set against it - he feels like it violates some basic sacred mysteries of life. I mostly agree, but to tell the truth it's a little tempting to start some sewing projects that are a little more "girly". With DD I was somewhat against dressing little girls all "girly" before she was born, so it didn't matter if all the stuff we got was gender neutral. But once she was here I really actually got into dressing her up and all the fun cute little pink stuff. I still hate the super cotton candy fluff sort of girl clothes, but a little lace never hurt anyone! And we stay far away from all of the "character" stuff like Disney princesses or even Dora. Anyway, I've started a couple projects, and they are a little on the girly side because I just can't help myself, but I don't have any problem dressing a boy up in a little lace either!
We do suspect we have a girl because when I got pregnant, we had been TTC for a little over a month, and then decided to wait just a little longer before getting pregnant because DD started this really difficult stage and it freaked us out a little. So we stopped having unprotected sex a little over a week into my cycle. The last time we dtd without protection was 7 days before I ovulated (I was charting) and I did have fertile cervical fluid, but just barely. Then we had sex once just a day I think before I ovulated, but with a condom. So either the little swimmers hung out for 7 days, which would probably mean that only the girls were still around when I ovulated, or the condom failed and it could be either boy or girl. Which is more likely? The chances of a condom used correctly failing or the chances of sperm surviving 7 days?
haha We definitely find out gender. I wasn't very crunchy with my first so of course we did then. And then we my next we were waiting for a girl, but it was a boy. And this time, honestly, i am DYING to know. I will love it boy or girl but i know that with two boys around i do REALLY want a girl. I don't think there is anything wrong. It's beautiful both ways. I hope at some point to have a homebirth and i think i will leave that one a surprise! How beautiful really! But i also love sewing and after i have made things especially quilts for a baby i feel even more bonded i LOVE IT!
Oh and you are all fired ;) I did the baking soda test and the Chinese Gender test and both came back GIRL! haha terrible! I am so going to have my hopes up! But really... i will be SO happy for either...i just really want a girl before all is said and done :) The chinese gender test was wrong about my last one--he's all boy--but it said girl. Sooooo.... we will see! Only 9-ish more weeks to go haha!
An ultrasound can tell you the genital sex of your child, it cannot tell you the gender. Gender is a social construct. Sex refers to things such as chromosomes and organs. Gender describes characteristics/roles/traits a society ascribes to people based on how their sex is perceived. You cannot know the gender of your child until it is old enough to start identifying with the characteristics/roles/traits our society describes for people. It is important to me that these terms are used correctly.
You can be pretty sure of whatever. I am certain this thread, and others, have used the term gender incorrectly, and it offends me. You can choose to continue to do so, of course, or you can read what I wrote and learn from it. Not everybody participating on this site identifies with the gender that was assigned them at birth based on their genital sex. "I mean, come on..." Have some empathy.
Let's break it down. Explain to me which of these sentences offended "everybody else who answered" and is an example of "jumping at people". I'll even number them to make it easy, so our "overdriven hormones" won't hinder us from discussing this.
1) An ultrasound can tell you the genital sex of your child, it cannot tell you the gender.
2) Gender is a social construct.
3) Sex refers to things such as chromosomes and organs.
4) Gender describes characteristics/roles/traits a society ascribes to people based on how their sex is perceived.
5) You cannot know the gender of your child until it is old enough to start identifying with the characteristics/roles/traits our society describes for people.
6) It is important to me that these terms are used correctly.
I agree that we do need to be more aware of the difference between sex and gender. I wasn't offended by the reminder, but I do agree that gender vs sex wasn't the topic we were discussing. Not that there's anything wrong with a little off-topic conversation sometimes... One thing I do feel strongly about is that we need to be more gentle with each other. It's easy to fire off a heated reply online that you would never say face to face to someone you know well. I'd like to continue to hear contributions from both of you for the next 8 months.