Weekly Chat February 27-March 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[jodieanneanton]

Hey ladies!  Happy Monday!  I thought I'd get this weeks chat started.  Chat away!! :)

[Ava's Mama]

Hi everyone!  I am 12 weeks, 13 on Friday, so I will officially be in the second trimester!  I have an ultrasound on Wednesday.  I am feeling great.  I definitely feel like my appetite is in full swing!  We leave in a week to go to Florida, it will be nice to get away and thaw out, even though it hasn't been too rough of a winter!

[hyde]

Happy Monday, all. :)

Something's up with my hormones- I was visited by the lovey-dovey fairy this weekend. So weird. I basically haven't wanted to be touched in any way for over a month, and out of nowhere I got extremely snuggly. My poor affection-starved husband ate it up. I've been feeling a little bad about how flat my mood has been, so it was nice to get a dose of whatever that was. It really is incredible how big a role hormones play in our lives.

My appetite was really revved up, too, though I also am getting full very quickly again. So I have urges to eat the entire fridge, but can only handle a bit at a time. I took two days off of Unisom but spent yesterday with that all-day baseline level of nausea so went running back last night.. I need to be in good shape for the work week, and have a lot to do in the three days before our trip. On that note.. ;)

[WindyCityMom]

I have a request.

Can we all get along?  Regardless of our individual beliefs about pregnancy, birth, life, love, chocolate cake, or whatever?  Kel is gone, and it makes me sad :(  I've deleted my stuff from that thread because I just don't want to be a part of it.  I was looking for supportive stuff and I got anger and resentment and a fist shaking at my face.  Not my idea of a supportive DDC.  

*ahem*.

I figured out why my midwife couldn't find bby's heartbeat with the doppler and why I've been having so much trouble.  It's about 1.5-2" above my c-section scar.  WOW.  I'm 11 weeks.

And I have an elective "gender scan" at 15w3d.  I found it very, very cheap :)  Basically if you schedule it on a certain day they bump you up from the cheapie less than a minute scan to the more expensive one, for the same price.  My hospital has rude ultrasound technicians and they won't let my husband and children be there.  It's important to me that they are.  Take it like you wanna take it ;)

[pure]

I will be 14 weeks on Wednesday (yes, I'm actually due August 30th, but my other babies were 4 days after due date) i still feel like crap. I even threw up yesterday. I am dizzy and light headed and not tolerating carbs. I am paranoid about gestational diabetes, even though my only risk factor was my 9lb 11 oz last baby. I think I might be feeling some movement, but nothing for sure yet. On the plus side, I have gained two of the 8 lbs I lost first trimester.

[WindyCityMom]

pure- (((hugs))) Hope you start feeling better soon!

[Jend1002]

Ah man.  I just wrote out a happy update about how today was a great Monday and then it was accidentally deleted. That will teach me!  But yeah, today is a good day because last night DS slept and so did I.  They never ever coincide!  I feel so refreshed.  And last week I posted a whiny post about having no symptoms but then noted that it would probably come back to bite me.  It did.  I spent the entire weekend so nauseous, exhausted, crabby, weepy - I was a mess.  And of course DS really needed me and DH had to study.  So today, I feel great and I am going to just enjoy and embrace the greatness. 

So about food - this pregnancy has been a lot more frustrating than the last.  I have a really hard time figuring out what I am craving or what even sounds good.  I think I know, I have it, and then it's not satisfying.  Food is never quite right.  And I may love something today and it is revolting tomorrow.  It's wreaking havoc on food planning and our food budget, which is not good!  I should steer clear of the market.  Yesterday my basket didn't look right - and I know I will end up wasting because I bought things on a whim.  I guess it's good that it's not junky food but I just don't shop like this. 

[WindyCityMom]

Jend- I hear ya on the food!  My goodness... I can't seem to figure out what I want!  Kiwi and oranges are always a must, but they're not filling by any means!  When I'm hungry and need something substantial it's ridiculous!  

My husband needs to lose a lot of weight... he's 5'11" and 275.  His goal weight is 220.  He's very big boned and broad shouldered- he's just built stocky.  We were trying to figure out a meal plan yesterday and oh my goodness.. this is going to be tough!  He wants to start eating better before nice weather gets here- he is an avid bike rider but doesn't keep up with himself during the winter.. hence the weight. He only usually goes up to 250 though, but he slacked off last summer and is really paying for it.  I'm looking forward to following a diet too, though.  I need to cut refined sgars and bad carbs.  I was GBS+ last time and I do *not* want those abx.  Wish these mws allowed the hibiclens protocol.  Darned OBs...

[cryswilkins]

Oh food. Nothing tastes good to me right now except junk.

(off to go eat some Girl Scout cookies... Mmmm thin mints. )


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[Jend1002]

WCM - It is especially hard when family members are on a particular diet!  My DH is paleo and I am a vegetarian and we have a 3 year old somewhat picky eater.  We're a real mess!  

cryswilkins - I just had 2 Girl Scout cookies.  I blame you and the power of suggestion

[jodieanneanton]

Originally Posted by WindyCityMom 
 I was GBS+ last time and I do *not* want those abx.  Wish these mws allowed the hibiclens protocol.  Darned OBs...

*YOU* can do the hibiclens protocol on your own before the test and while in labor before you go to the hospital... Just an idea!   There's lots of how to info online!

[judybean]

pure -- I joined the March '10 DDC even though my EDD was Februray 27th (weird... two years ago today!) because I knew none of my babies would ever come early or even 'on time' .. and sure enough, dd4s birthday isn't until March 6th ;)  I hope you start feeling better!

...

Food is so hard :/  Meal-planning is going to crap because, Jend1002 said, my list of foods I can tolerate (because I can hardly find any I truly WANT) varies greatly moment to moment -- no way can I plan it out in advance even only a week out!  like... I'm trying to plan dinner tonight.  Dh decided to give up meat altogether for Lent which is super since we don't eat a lot of meat anyway.. but I'm trying to find some new, family-friendly recipes for everybody...

We don't have GS cookies here yet.  I'm jealous of those who do!

12w2d here.  Kind of wild.  While I always hoped this pregnancy would stick, it's somehow shocking me that it really is!  Like... This REALLY IS HAPPENING.

And of course my baby-lust goes into overdrive when exciting events like today happen!  Dh's cousin had her first baby today at 12:48a.m.!  She didn't know what she was having which made it all the more exciting!  And... it was a boy!  And they named him Hoyt!  And.. oh! He is soooooo sweet and sooooooo tiny (just 6lb9oz! my babies have all been around 9 lbs!).  Makes me want to skip ahead a few months already!  (um... except there is WAY TOO MUCh to get done to skip a few months!  Yikes!).

Right now dh is working downstairs to get a room ready in our (finished) basement because dd1 wants her own room.  Currently, we have just two bedrooms on our main level and dh, dd4 and I are in one room and the older three girls share the other room (one bunk bed, one twin bed).  We have gotten it cleaned up (it was just holding STUFF/junk) and now he's tearing down and throwing out the old, falling-apart, hand-me-down bed that was in there so we can put her new one in there!

[judybean]

jodieanneanton -- thinking of you lots these last few days!! 

[jodieanneanton]

Originally Posted by judybean 

jodieanneanton -- thinking of you lots these last few days!! 

Thanks, I need the thoughts.  :)  It's been pretty roller coaster-y for me since saturday...

[MissE]

i cant believe kelly just wrapped it up like that...i wish she would have stuck around longer. anyway...i'm afraid of stepping on toes now...who knows what might upset other people.

[nukuspot]

I lived in a commune type house for a long time with very uber politically correct folks. Like as in if you were saying directions you couldn't use he word "straight" you had to use "forward". I lost touch with half or more of them after I got married since they didn't believe in marriage until everyone in the world had the right to marry, by me using my hetero priviledge I was oppressing gays and lesbians....Etc. I felt like I spent most of my early 20s being afraid of stepping on toes and it's a horrible feeling. I hope people don't start feeling that way here. I missed most of the commotion obviously but lets all just relax about things and not secnd guess ourselves all the time since that's a horrible way to have a message board.

Well in 12w4d and while the vomiting part of the HG is gone I'm still unbelievably nauseated and with full on food aversions. I have about 6 safe foods and I am so bored with them! I'm scared this is going to last the whole pregnancy. I just want to be able to eat again!

On other news DD is officially done nursing. My milk dried up due to my severe vomiting and dehydration for the first 2 months of pregnancy. She made it to 2 years and 10 months of nursing and I guess it feels OK...But I really didn't plan for it. I thought I would tandem nurse! She asked to nurse agin last night and she had forgotten how to do it! She just sat with her mouth on my nipple and giggled. So crazy she could forget in such a short time.

I don't look pregnant at all yet and am kind of jealous of all your bumps! This is such a hard stage, feeling crappy, still scared of m/c, not looking pregnant, not feeling movement.... I can't wait for 20 weeks! It feels so far away.

[hyde]

If Kelly's really gone, that's too bad, and I don't really understand why. I saw what she posted before she erased it; she knew it was going to be offensive given the context but was okay with that because those are her religious beliefs, which she said she knows not everyone shares. (ETA: Despite her insistence on what she believed to be true, she also was very clear about feeling that this wasn't hateful. I'm trying not to mischaracterize this because it's been deleted now.) Mymaya's response was firm but respectful. I'd expect the same if someone decided to share their homophobic/racist/whatever opinions- people may hold those beliefs privately, but they're not something I think we as a group would accept. Kelly has been a really positive presence here otherwise, but liking someone or having a good relationship with them doesn't mean that they're never wrong, or that you don't call them on it when a line is crossed. Likewise, clashing on one issue doesn't mean there's no relationship to be had.

WCM, I'm so with you on getting along but wish you hadn't erased the original posting (though obviously it was your post and your prerogative to do so). Mole's point really wasn't to tell anybody that they were wrong to want to find out the baby's sex, or that we shouldn't be having that conversation at all (you had a post there for a minute that seemed like that's what you felt she was saying)- just, could we have the conversation using different terminology.

It's really unfortunate that it was worded in a way that ended up putting folks on the defensive, and I wish the message had been cushioned a little more because the presentation/tone ended up distracting from what I think is a really simple thing that we could do to help make sure everyone feels welcome.. that's part of having a supportive DDC too, ykwim? (Nukuspot, I know the type you're talking about, but I don't think it's fair to paint every case of someone being offended by language with the 'uber PC' brush- not sure if you read the other thread, but we're talking about somebody being directly and personally hurt, not just trying to correct people's language on principle.) If we're inadvertently hurting someone and they bring it to our attention, that's good, because then we do what we can to not be hurtful. (So Evi, please don't be scared to talk!) This issue reminds me in a way of my 60 y/o dad getting defensive when I tell that people don't use x term for y ethnic group anymore- last time he told me not to tell him how to talk, and I told him that I don't get to choose what he says, but I'm letting him know it's offensive and hoping that, armed with that information, he'll make a different choice next time. That's all anybody can do.

Okay, that's it for me on this, I think. GROUP HUG PLEASE.

--

jodie, thoughts are with you. Keep us updated.

[WindyCityMom]

Hyde, I agree completely. I just removed everything because it turned into something crazy and out of hand and I just didn't want a part of it, and my feelings on the subject are all over the place. I think she was banned, but I have no idea what she said and read it after her posts were removed.. But I guess it's in the past, so yes, group hug!

[Carlin]

Hyde, thank you for that. I've been wanting to comment on this all day but couldn't come up with something that I thought would actually make things better not worse. I think you've summed it up nicely!

Nuku, Don't feel jealous! At 5'2" I've got nowhere to go but out, unfortunately I don't look pregnant, just fat at this point. lol I'd love to be one of those people who takes forever to show then pops out a cute little bump!

I'm glad your LO is taking weaning so well. It's now been about a week since DD nursed and she hasn't asked in 2 days so I think we're over the hump. We are doing lots of extra cuddles and hugs and I have to say I think it's better for us as nursing was so physically uncomfortable for me that I was really resenting and dreading it.

In other news, I was thrilled to find out last night that my husband's cousin and his wife are expecting in September too! They've been TTC for years, and have just finished going through the process to get on the adoption wait list in our province and now totally unexpectedly they are pregnant! I'm so thrilled for them, and they'll be awesome parents!

As for me, the nausea is still here way too much but I feel like my energy level is getting a wee bit better - or maybe I'm just tired of laying around feeling useless. My husband's birthday is tomorrow and I'm trying to come up with a birthday dinner that I can actually stand to cook but still feels a little bit special, and I think DD and I are going to attempt black forest cupcakes.

[mymaya]

WCM, here is a simple take on what happened- it's not that crazy, really. Stating that "we are all entitled to our opinions" is one thing. actually EXPRESSING these opinions in a public, democratic forum, where people from pretty much all over the world come together to talk about pregnancy (or a variety of other topics, doesn't really matter), is a whole other thing. "opinions" that are possibly racist, discriminatory, anti-semitic, and so on, should absolutely be banned, because they are hurtful. period. they just are, there is no argument about it, whether you are "entitled" to thinking this way or not, well, is really not the point here. does that make sense?

I have been part of parenting and pregnancy forums for over 10 years. one in particular, for 10 years. As you can imagine, there are women there from all "walks of life"- different religions, countries, sexual orientation, economic abilities and so on. It is NOT OK for a person of faith to bash a gay woman on a forum, or a mother of a gay child, no matter how passionately she FEELS about it, because it is hurtful and discriminatory. It is NOT OK to make anti-semitic "jokes". they are not funny. they are embarrassing to the joker. It is NOT OK to imply that a poor person "isn't working hard enough for their money" especially on a board where such people might take part. Even though you might very honestly feel this way. OBVIOUSLY I am not saying anyone here actually says these things. just giving examples.

so yeah, let's all get a long, but let's have some basic common sense as well.

mymaya.