Weekly Chat Thread 2/27 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Thebyr]

Ugh - I'm so bad about personals - I have to write the names and the comments on a separate sheet and then type them.. kinda tough when you're trying not to puke. I PROMISE to do better when I'm less nauseous.

CC - YES! I am beat doing most of the simple things I've been doing all my life. I haven't been back to dance class since my first stab a few weeks ago. I'm just so tired and heavy. lol

Sol - We went to Chicago this past weekend, DC is in a few weeks and we're still trying to decide on the last one. I really want a beach somewhere - but I think it's needs to be stateside. So mexico, Jamaica and the bahamas are OUT! Oh - and no gender for us. I'm going to have to try really hard not to guess based on the pictures from the scan.

Andaluza - Thank you. I have some really great days and then some horrible days. Like today and yesterday - stayed home from work to lay in the bed ALL day. UGH.

Aimee - I know how you feel.. The drive to chicago was about 4 hours... If we hadn't driven so I could take my boppy pillow - I wouldn't have made it. period.

[NewMumJoy]

CCoello - good luck w/your moving (or staying) plans... hopefully it gets to be latter!  Hope your DH can make it to your scan!

Sol - hope your scan went well!

ItHappened - A boy!!  And a ??  Hope the mystery can be solved soon!  Still very exciting!

tchotchkes - how awesome that your IL's did all that for you!!  BTW, an authentic chicago dog sounds FANTASTIC right now!  I have a layover at O'Hare this Friday, so guess what I'll be indulging on for lunch!!!

Veritas - I was accustomed to such a grueling work schedule that I know how great it feels to return to "normal" workload/hours - enjoy your break!  Hope your new proposed work plan works out as well!

LeAnn - hooray for road trips and seeing your friends and family!

Andaluza - I can no longer eat full serving meals (when dining out) either, despite the fact that I'm hungry every 2 hrs.  I'm always taking the doggy bag home!  Sorry to hear of your bad shuttle experience - I hope you at least had snacks w/you, or I would have lost my mind!

AFM - we had a great trip across the border yesterday and our scan went very well (thx all!)  We're having a BOY!!  I pretty much felt "boy" all along, but it was great to see the look of relief/joy on DH's face  :)  Lots and lots of movement, none of which I was able to feel at all, surprisingly!  DH is bugging me to get the u/s pics posted on FB but I want to do something different, like maybe announce the gender with a belly photo instead...

We'll be having a follow-up scan in 10 wks to check on my partial previa placenta that they found.  Happy about the chance to see him again, but info on this condition is a little scary!  I'll be starting a new thread on that one....

[intime0]

ithappened, are you on holiday, or did you  move from Switzerland?  Bummer you didnt get to see both. Still, one boy.  Exciting!

Tchotckes, how sweet of your in laws.  and now I want a hot dog. 

Well, I pretty much want everything.

My new pregnancy symptom.  Pee. It's like my bladder starts to let go as soon as it sees the toilet. I've only wet my pants once...but I'm getting lots of little dribbles. I'm pulling my pants down as fast as I can. I'm a freak.

Having a migraine every other day. So that's progress!

[dovemama]

intime0; aren't the migraines awful? Especially with kids! I am sorry you are having them too!

And LOL! Pee for me too! Non-stop!!!

Can anyone recommend a good probiotic during pregnancy?

[Knitting Mama]

For those of you who are worried about going back to work and balancing bottle and breastfeeding (and avoiding nipple confusion or bottle preference over breast), this is a really cool article. If I knew I was going back to work I would for sure check out the author's book.

http://theleakyboob.com/2012/03/bottle-feeding-breastfed-babies/

[bootsvalentine]

Thebyr, try the multi-quote function. Hit multi quote when you want to reply to someone, then keep reading, and hit it again as many times as you want. When you finish on the last one hit "quote" and then everyone's comments and names will show up, and you can just type underneath them and then delete the quoted text. :) Hope you feel better soon!

[ithappened]

Intime0 I was working in Switzerland at a University but live in Austria.. It was a really exhausting month and a half there.. partially because I was SO sick with that cold/flu, in my first trimester and partially because they speak Swiss-German which is sort of half French, half Italian and half German.. so my German was really.. not sufficient enough sometimes and I spent a lot of time trying to just learn another language- again! 

Cec's Mama- thanks for that link! I was just starting to think about how to balance bottle with BFing..
 

Anyone have any fun weekend plans?

[dovemama]

Happy Friday everyone!

DH works tomorrow so dd and I might go walk around Ikea or something.

How is everyone feeling? We are pretty good. Getting bigger by day!

[Sol_y_Paz]

Thebyr, Chicago sounds awesome, I have been there before and really loved the city (and the pizza!).  DC sounds fun.  I think the beach sounds perfect.  I hope you get to go.  

NewMumJoy, Congrats on a baby boy!  Funny you felt that the whole time and it was a boy indeed.  So glad to hear you made it safe and sound during the long drive and bad weather.  Hope the PP resolves itself.  

Intime0, hope the migraines start to get less and less.  

Dovemama, so glad your DH can take that time off after baby!  

Ithappened, Congrats on your one boy and can't wait until you find out what the other baby is hiding in there.  As far as balancing bottle with breast I wish you had LLL meetings over there.  As far as weekend plans I hope to do a tiny bit of light shopping but mostly just looking for baby stuff this weekend.  And do some serious de-clutter of the house.  Any big plans for you?

My appointment went good.  We are going to have a boy!  So that makes of those who have found out so far most are having boys (Andaluza, Newmumjoy, ithappened, and me).  I know of two girl so far (Feralfox and ainh).  Can't wait to hear from others.  This is all so exciting.  

Edited by Sol_y_Paz - 3/2/12 at 2:31pm

[dovemama]

Yay!!! Congrats Sol y Paz!!!!

[ithappened]

sol no real plans.. had hoped to go skiing but still no babysitter so.. Ill probably go running (er waddling) and maybe try to force myself to go shopping.. my jeans are hitting the too tight stage.

[andaluza]

Great news about the boy, Ithappened; I hope the other one is more cooperative next time. Sounds intense to deal with all the language issues, and I love languages.

Wow, Thebyr, that's a lot of traveling! We flew about 2.5 hrs this past weekend and it was totally fine, but I can't imagine either car or plane with nausea. Lots of beach possibilities in the US, though.

Great to hear about your results, NewmumJoy. Dh and I were so in love with the squiggly little one when we had our scan at 15 w--and I think he's pretty excited about having a little guy to share guy stuff with. I hope that the placenta resolves itself; mine is pretty low right now and I'm hoping it's in a better place when we go back in a few weeks.

Intime, oh, that sounds bad. Do kegels help with incontinence?

Dovemama, I've been drinking GoodBelly probiotic juice and eating good yogurt once a day. I went through a symptomless uti and a yeast infection because of the antibiotics, and I need to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

So happy to hear that all went well, Sol_y_paz. It is surreal to find out the sex, even if you have an inkling. It definitely makes things so much more real. And for us it was a surprise to have the scan that day, so it was even more surreal, since we hadn't seen anything since week 8 and things looked totally different.

No big plans this weekend, but I am planning to make a paella tomorrow and can't wait. I hope I can get my fill before my stomach starts to hurt.

[Thebyr]

bootsvalentine : ahhhh, You just saved my preggy life!! I wondered what that was for. Thank you!

Sol_y_Paz : Congrats on your boy! Chicago was really nice. We ate at Giordanos Pizza the first night. Pizza keeps my nausea at bay for hours!
 

andaluza  : Yeah - it's a lot. I just feel the need to get a lot in before baby because I know it will be about 6 months after baby that I'll be nervous about traveling with or without baby. Paella sounds YUMMY!

[Veritas Vitae]

Dovemama, it is so great that your DH can take 8 weeks off with you.  Our company will give DP three weeks off, which I am excited about. 

Sorry in advance for this super long post...but I need to vent:

My planning meeting went about as horribly as it could go, and honestly, I feel a little blindsided by the whole thing.  Literally the day after I emailed the HR manager about doing the special project (which most people would fly to go do) they announced that there would be an in house satellite project center set up at our location which would require 100 resources (approx. 2/3 the total department).  This was on Tuesday.  Wednesday and Thursday I called in sick because I was so nauseous and exhausted.  Today I had my meeting with the HR manager.  She basically told me that b/c I called in on a Saturday saying I had a family committment, they no longer trusted me to work remotely, further, she didn't feel they could recommend me for a position on some other project as a result of that and she also stated that I might not be able or reliable to travel because I had been sick so often recently.  So essentially my choices are stay where I am or quit.  I feel like she promised something she is not able to deliver, and now they need more resources, and specifically my skills from having been a reviewer on this type of project for 6 months. I wish I could say that I handled this calmly and rationally, but I was so distraught I started crying and couldn't breath (damn pregnancy hormones). I have been in talks with her since January about this position and she has been assuring me that it would happen. I even have an email between her and I wherein I inquired if this was a firm position and if I should turn down the position in NC I was applying for.  She replied that I should turn the position down and that they had a job for me.  Numerous times since that conversation she told me I had a position.  When I initially went to speak to her about transitioning to the new position I was applying for, she is the one offered the remote position.  In fact, she called me into her office after our initial meeting and told me she didn't think DP and I could both swing client facing positions with a new baby and made an offer to me to work remotely indefinitely.  I have had exceptional reviews for the year and a half I have worked for the company, every. single. review.  I'm just flabbergasted that she would take this one incident, me calling out on a Saturday, where I absolutely was honest and straight forward that I had a family committment, and is trying to use it in order to essentially bully me into doing what management wants, and cover herself, despite past promises. I'm so disappointed that a company that prides itself on being a top 100 place to work and top employer for working mothers would treat me this way. So as of now, the plan is for DP to move and start his job the last week of March as planned.  AFM, it looks like, for the time being, I will be stuck here through mid-July, when I will take all my accrued vacation up until maternity leave starts.  Then I can FINALLY move with my DP.  In the meantime, I will have to pay for a place here and he will have to pay for a place there.  It is so frustrating that we've been making all of our plans based on what they told us and now they've changed their minds.

[LilyTiger]

Veritas, that sucks.  Is there anyway you can ask to speak with her when you are calmer?  You could put together a detailed list of the times she has promised you the job, your performance reviews for the past however many months, and an explanation for why you are the most qualified person for the job.  Finally, make it clear that the problems you have been having are temporary and that the m/s will be subsiding in a week or so.  If it's an option, you could also ask to speak to her manager/boss, but I'm sure you already thought of that.  It really sounds like you've been taken advantage of, and you might be able to change things if you calmly and rationally approach her again and lay out why you think you're being treated unfairly.  It doesn't sound like you have much legal recourse, though depending on your position (and how much you might want a future at this company) you could hint at a sexual discrimination suit, since some of what they're concerned about are the unavoidable side-effects of pregnancy.  You'd have to talk to a lawyer about that one, and I don't think it's really a possibility (or necessarily a good idea).

But it really sounds like you should fight it.  If you really are stuck in that position, it really sucks.  I'm so sorry.

[ithappened]

oh man Veritas that would horribly stress me out and upset me. I am so sorry. . This is a really hard position to be in going into the second/third trimester. Any other time I would aggressively look for a new job.

Today for me, as horrible as it sounds, I just really would love to have a babysitter for the day, all day.. . My DS is in some sort of horrible 2-2.5yo defiant stage- if he doesn't get what he wants, the second he wants, he throws horrible tantrums, and has suddenly become extremely needy, isn't sleeping well and is never happy. I think he actually whines the entire time he is awake and even now at night he has started to wine in his sleep-- oh and throw-- everything.

[intime0]

Veritas, That STINKS. I"m so sorry! 

Ithappened, my 2 year old has taken to shrieking. and being held constantly. :)

[Veritas Vitae]

I'm planning on putting together a very nicely and rationally worded email which will include the performance reviews, the email ensuring me the job, and the email I sent when I called out with a family commitment.  I have never lied to them and I have consistently been pegged as a top performer. I feel like they are bullying me, and attacking my integrity and limiting my future with the company, despite everyone I've worked with recommending me for management, and that is not the "tone" of this company.  I feel positive when the situation is presented rationally, they will see that the lines were crossed in terms of what behavior is acceptable.  To question my ability to perform work based on me having side effects from being pregnant is most certainly discriminatory behavior and I'm sure they will change tack, if not, then I can just escalate, all going through the proper channels, lest they call me "sneaky" again for being perfectly honest and straight forward.  Honestly, I've worked with so many different managers, both within my cost center and others, and could likely get character references from all of them. 

Thanks for the support ladies.

Ithappened, I know my sister had the same issue with her kids around that age as well. 

[ithappened]

VV-

this

feel like they are bullying me, and attacking my integrity and limiting my future with the company, despite everyone I've worked with recommending me for management,

Was my exact initial reaction to your post.. doesn't make any sense given your history .. I call a WTF. Good for you for fighting..

[andaluza]

Wow, Veritas  I am so sorry you have to deal with this. 

At least you have the weekend to sit back and clearly plan your next move. It sounds to me as though this woman who made you promises either did not have the authority to make them and now needs to backtrack for whatever reason, or someone disagrees with her and that is causing the problem (i.e. made-up excuses that question your proven abilities). It is such a shame that women have to deal with these issues nowadays, since no matter what the image is that the company wants to portray about being family-friendly, it seems clear that it is coming down to your pregnancy. I think one of the most important pieces of evidence you have are the emails wherein these promises were made. I would print them immediately and back them up or forward them to another email account, just in case. I'm glad that you can identify other appropriate channels of communication besides this person. Best wishes with all this!