Baby Showers - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[angelpie545]

 I still have a lot of stuff from when ds was a baby (mostly clothes) so I won't need too much when this one (also a boy) is born.  My BFF wants to throw me a shower, and of couse that's lovely of her so I will end up having one.  I'll probably just do diaper/wipes donations of maybe baby grooming stuff. 

[Shinyredstar]

Pinterest is a great place to get ideas for parties! Just a thought- rather than a registry, maybe you could make an Amazon wishlist?

ETA- I don't think it's strange to have men at a shower, but maybe you'd be more comfortable calling it something else, which might also send the signal that you're not expecting it to be anything traditional?
Edited by Shinyredstar - 2/29/12 at 6:52pm

[sjdragonfly]

Yes, Pinterest is awesome! I've actually bookmarked some springish snacks and drinks on there that I'd like to make for the shower. 

I really envy you ladies that live in the US for registry options. I wish we could use Amazon the same way in Canada. We have an Amazon.ca, but it's very limited and mostly just has books and music. Not everything under the sun like the US one does! I used to love making wishlists on there just to keep track of things I was thinking of purchasing sometimes.

[Shinyredstar]

Hmmm. I didn't realize that about Amazon. What about Etsy? It's a little stretch but there are some great things on there, too... And I always feel good about supporting people over big businesses. If people friend you, they can see your favorites. But I suppose that wouldn't be all that practical, really .

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by sjdragonfly 

Yes, Pinterest is awesome! I've actually bookmarked some springish snacks and drinks on there that I'd like to make for the shower. 

I really envy you ladies that live in the US for registry options. I wish we could use Amazon the same way in Canada. We have an Amazon.ca, but it's very limited and mostly just has books and music. Not everything under the sun like the US one does! I used to love making wishlists on there just to keep track of things I was thinking of purchasing sometimes.

Can you use MyRegistry.com?

[sjdragonfly]

That's the one I'm planning to use, actually MaerynPearl. I like that I can put stuff on there from anywhere. 

Etsy is a good idea! I find so much cute stuff on there. Most of the baby stuff is quite expensive and I'd never pay what they're asking myself ($30 for a baby tshirt?!) but I might put a few reasonably priced things from Etsy on my list just to give a variety. We really don't need much stuff. I'm sewing a ton of stuff myself and we don't really want much anyway, so I'll most likely end up scouring the web for cute baby onesies and sleepers and putting a bunch of that stuff on there for the bulk of it.

I need to look into it, but hopefully I can add some kind of note with my registry. There are some great baby stores in Vancouver so if people want to just go in somewhere and look around I can send them to those places as well. I think some of them have online registries and some don't.

[MaerynPearl]

I loved myregistry last time... I believe you can add notes on anything, I remember when putting on cloth diapers last time I noted "I already have these in *size* but would love some in *size* for her to grow into them!"

I also remember you can put things NOT on a website. I put "Someone to clean my house" and my mother-in-law gave me that (and man, how she gave me that... she deep cleaned my carpets and EVERYTHING)

[sjdragonfly]

That is awesome. I was hoping that I could add in things like that. I want to add in things like vacuuming the apartment and running to the grocery store for us and other random things that would be immensely helpful in the first month. 

[MaerynPearl]

I put mine in as a joke entry... but man it felt good when my mother in law actually DID it.

[sjdragonfly]

Love it! I wonder if anyone will actually take me up on the vacuuming and grocery shopping. haha

[lbkw]

I feel weird celebrating before the baby is born, but we "won" a Ben & Jerry's scoop party for up to 50 people at a charity auction for our kids' preschool that expires in August. We're hoping to cash it in after the baby comes.

[Shinyredstar]

Originally Posted by lbkw 

I feel weird celebrating before the baby is born, but we "won" a Ben & Jerry's scoop party for up to 50 people at a charity auction for our kids' preschool that expires in August. We're hoping to cash it in after the baby comes.

Oooh! That sounds like fun.

I'm guessing the girls at work are going to do something, but my DH is Navajo and it's non-traditional and considered bad luck to do much before the baby is born. Typically they wait until the baby's first smile. The person who made the baby smile then gives a big party for the baby/family and that's when they share gifts, etc. however, we have to work in some compromises to satisfy other people in our lives, so we'll do a little of both.

[sjdragonfly]

That sounds like a great tradition! I really like the idea of waiting until after the baby arrives to have a shower or party for the baby. Since this is our first, we still need stuff, though, so I want to do it beforehand. Plus, since we didn't find out the gender, we won't get a bunch of frilly pink or sporty blue things.

I think we're going to have a meet the baby open house sort of thing a week or two after the baby is born, but not anything that makes people think they should bring gifts or anything.

[modestmothering]

I already sent out invitations to my baby shower -- and I actually had them ready about two months into my pregnancy.  I did my registry before we even conceived! 

But we have a lot of restrictions about what kind of materials we will accept.  I don't any qualms about telling people that I will send back their gifts if they do not meet our criteria. 

We are also having a co-ed celebration.  A celebration, and not a "shower." 

We'll see how it goes!  Good luck!

[inkandpaper]

Erg, so we met with the girl (DP's coworker) who offered long ago to throw us a baby shower.  Turns out her idea of "hosting" is giving us lots of ideas (like full bbq meal for everybody, silly games like the squashed-candy diaper-sniffing game, and expensive prizes to bribe people to play the games.  Oh and plenty of wine and beer )  and then telling us what place to reserve and when to send out the invitations.  So I guess we are hosting and paying for our own baby shower...?  And doing most of the work.  She's a sweet girl and it's kind of her to want to play host when she only knows DP and barely knows me, but isn't this not how baby showers are generally done?  I don't want to throw myself an expensive party.  I told DP that traditionally, the "host" of a party is the one who plans and funds the event, but he defended her and said that we can't ask her to pay for all of it.  Well, I don't think we can ask us to pay for all of it, either   I'd rather have a small informal get-together, or nothing at all, but I definitely don't want to put the time and money into throwing myself a party that doesn't even sound fun to me.  I'd rather put the money towards buying myself baby stuff we need.  I'm also thinking about just calling the whole thing off, but all of DP's female coworkers are in the loop and are excited about the shower already.

[Nicole730]

Originally Posted by inkandpaper 

Erg, so we met with the girl (DP's coworker) who offered long ago to throw us a baby shower.  Turns out her idea of "hosting" is giving us lots of ideas (like full bbq meal for everybody, silly games like the squashed-candy diaper-sniffing game, and expenosive prizes to bribe people to play the games.  Oh and plenty of wine and beer )  and then telling us what place to reserve and when to send out the invitations.  So I guess we are hosting and paying for our own baby shower...?  And doing most of the work.  She's a sweet girl and it's kind of her to want to play host when she only knows DP and barely knows me, but isn't this not how baby showers are generally done?  I don't want to throw myself an expensive party.  I told DP that traditionally, the "host" of a party is the one who plans and funds the event, but he defended her and said that we can't ask her to pay for all of it.  Well, I don't think we can ask us to pay for all of it, either   I'd rather have a small informal get-together, or nothing at all, but I definitely don't want to put the time and money into throwing myself a party that doesn't even sound fun to me.  I'd rather put the money towards buying myself baby stuff we need.  I'm also thinking about just calling the whole thing off, but all of DP's female coworkers are in the loop and are excited about the shower already.

I fthat many women are excited but none realize you should not be paying then they are all a little dense or else taking advantage, is it happening during work hours? 

[GoofyInOK]

InkandPaper- I have seriously never heard of that before.  For every baby shower I've been to, the host/hostess(es) have paid for everything.  The point of most baby showers is to give the expecting couple gifts to ease the financial stress that a baby causes.  For you to have to pay for the whole thing yourself, especially with an expensive venue, sounds like those people are just looking for a free party.  That is SO not cool!

Obviously you and your hubby should do whatever you think is right, but if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely tell them that with the baby on the way, we can't afford to do what they are planning, and I'd see if they would step up to the plate to pay.  If not, I'd let them know we've decided against having one for financial reasons.  Good luck!

[sjdragonfly]

Originally Posted by GoofyInOK 

InkandPaper- I have seriously never heard of that before.  For every baby shower I've been to, the host/hostess(es) have paid for everything.  The point of most baby showers is to give the expecting couple gifts to ease the financial stress that a baby causes.  For you to have to pay for the whole thing yourself, especially with an expensive venue, sounds like those people are just looking for a free party.  That is SO not cool!

Obviously you and your hubby should do whatever you think is right, but if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely tell them that with the baby on the way, we can't afford to do what they are planning, and I'd see if they would step up to the plate to pay.  If not, I'd let them know we've decided against having one for financial reasons.  Good luck!

Yeah, that. Especially if this isn't the type of shower you really want in the first place. After all, this celebration is about YOU and your baby, not about everyone else and what they might want and what they might want you to pay for.

[scowgirl]

Originally Posted by GoofyInOK 

InkandPaper- I have seriously never heard of that before.  For every baby shower I've been to, the host/hostess(es) have paid for everything.  The point of most baby showers is to give the expecting couple gifts to ease the financial stress that a baby causes.  For you to have to pay for the whole thing yourself, especially with an expensive venue, sounds like those people are just looking for a free party.  That is SO not cool!

Obviously you and your hubby should do whatever you think is right, but if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely tell them that with the baby on the way, we can't afford to do what they are planning, and I'd see if they would step up to the plate to pay.  If not, I'd let them know we've decided against having one for financial reasons.  Good luck!

I COMPLETELY agree with all this. You are in a really tough position here since the "host" started out with such a weird assumption. I've never heard of people paying for their own shower; typically in my neck of the woods it can range from something at a restaurant, or food catered into someone's home, on down to potluck, cake and punch, snacks, etc.--whatever the host feels they can afford/manage. It is never contingent on the expectant parents to shell out the cost of the event.

I feel bad for you because without your DH being in agreement, I'm not sure how you're going to get out of this one. Is there any one out of the group of coworkers who you are especially close to, and who you think would be on the same page about the hosting responsibilities? Maybe if you could talk to someone like that, and if she is a diplomatic kind of person, she would be willing to talk to the original host in some kind of casual/subtle manner and help realign her expectations. It's possible the host really just doesn't know how this kind of thing is typically done. Then, if the host can't afford to do anything big, that is absolutely fine and understandable, but perhaps the "mediator" could suggest organizing something inexpensive like a potluck picnic or bbq at a local park.

[inkandpaper]

I don't know these coworkers very well - they are friends of my dp's.  He and I talked, and decided that it was pretty much just a miscommunication (isn't it always?).  This girl did not specifically offer to me to host the shower, it was dp who told me that she had said that.  But what she and the other female coworkers actually said was "We are totally having a baby shower."  By which they meant that they would go to it.  And this girl offered to help us plan it.  DP (who knew nothing about baby showers and their etiquette) assumed that's what it meant to "host" a shower, so he told me she would host it.  He didn't know "hosting' meant doing all the work and paying for it, so he didn't understand why I resisted.  But nobody offered to host my shower.  DP wants to have a nontraditional celebration party for me, so that's what we will do, and I requested something small and informal, without the silly shower games.  This is a lot less frustrating now that I know what everyone's roles are.