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Baby Showers - Page 3

post #41 of 45

I had something sort of similar at work today. I work in a small-ish office of about 45 people, and I'm the manager of all the employees in the building. Some of the girls, who are primarily younger women in their early 20's and only a few have children, are excited about the baby and ask me about it often. Today one of them asked when I was having a baby shower and I told her that I didn't have one planned- that I probably wouldn't plan one for myself. She asked if she could plan one and I said yes, but it seemed like such a strange thing to me. I can't imagine, from an ethical perspective, throwing my own shower and inviting my employees but at the same time I don't know if I'm comfortable with her hosting one and my employees then feeling obligated to buy something for their boss. I know some want to and I'm totally great with that and have certainly purchased shower gifts or birthday gifts for their kids, but I don't want them to feel obligated. Hmmm. What to do, what to do. I'm a little tempted to tell them I won't accept gifts, but that also seems harsh.

post #42 of 45

So MIL & SIL want to plan the shower for this babe. They originally wanted it all women so it could be "frou frou" but I asked DH to request it be co-ed. We came up with having the "girls" shower at DH's aunts house, which is right next door to our house, and the men and kiddos will be at our house. I have a feeling it is going to be lots & lots of clothes because I don't see anybody actually buying us the cloth diapers/covers that I put on our registry (that's pretty much all I put on there since we have everything else!) and I feel tacky asking for gift cards or money instead of copious amounts of onesies that the babe will more than likely not even wear...

post #43 of 45
Thread Starter 

Shinyredstar, maybe you could make sure that the invites say something about not having to bring a gift and how this is a celebration of the new baby? I feel weird having a party where I'm basically asking people to buy me things if they want to come, too, so I'm going to add a similar disclaimer to my invites. I'll include a link to my registry for those people that do want to get us things, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated.

post #44 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinyredstar View Post

I had something sort of similar at work today. I work in a small-ish office of about 45 people, and I'm the manager of all the employees in the building. Some of the girls, who are primarily younger women in their early 20's and only a few have children, are excited about the baby and ask me about it often. Today one of them asked when I was having a baby shower and I told her that I didn't have one planned- that I probably wouldn't plan one for myself. She asked if she could plan one and I said yes, but it seemed like such a strange thing to me. I can't imagine, from an ethical perspective, throwing my own shower and inviting my employees but at the same time I don't know if I'm comfortable with her hosting one and my employees then feeling obligated to buy something for their boss. I know some want to and I'm totally great with that and have certainly purchased shower gifts or birthday gifts for their kids, but I don't want them to feel obligated. Hmmm. What to do, what to do. I'm a little tempted to tell them I won't accept gifts, but that also seems harsh.

 

I wouldn't say anything on the invite.  I'd just load up your registry with smaller items, that people wouldn't mind buying.  Or even putting a note in the note section of the registry that says: Cute baby clothes in sizes newborn through 12 months.  I don't know about the rest of the world, but I find buying for babies to be super fun, especially teeny tiny super cute newborn stuff.  I try and get something for all babies of my friends, even if there isn't a shower.  I think in a work setting, especially if the shower is at work, people will have an easy out if they don't want to attend.  Just say they have too much work to do.  Also, often times at work showers, people all chip in $5 or $10 for something bigger - so not a huge financial hardship.  Oh, I would make it a bit easier by having a registry somewhere mainstream, like Target for sure.

 

I'm always so baffled on how the rest of society views gift giving...  If I want to give a gift I do.  If I don't want to give a gift, I don't.  But, I love to give gifts, especially to new babies and moms.  I love finding what I feel is the perfect gift for someone.  If I was invited to a shower of someone I didn't want to give a gift too, I'd either just give a card or else not go.  We don't do birthday gifts for my ILs because my husband doesn't care and I don't feel a need to make an effort.  Sometimes I think I should have the kids do something, so then they do.  I don't feel obligated at all.  I gift when I want to and when I feel like it.
 

 

post #45 of 45

It actually does bother me when people "host" there own showers, because it dose feel to me like asking for gifts.  The one time I felt it went over the line is when I saw a shower hosted by the mother that was also a pot luck posted with the registry information first.  I think it's important to feed your guest well if you host your own shower, it's a nice way to thank them for their presence and their presents.  

 

That said, when DH's friend offered us a ton of baby gear, most we probably wont use, I told him to take it because right now our price is "free".  And my shower is going to be hosted by my mom, but it will be at my house.  So in a sense I'm a "host" as well.  shrug.gif  
 

Co-ed showers are a personal flavor I think.  Most of the guy friends we have are single and not that interested in pregnancy, so it wouldn't make sense for us.  If you had more couple or male friends I could see it being fun.  

 

 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by onemomma View Post

Though a note about non-gender specific being great for subsequent babes-  I was all about that too, and then I had a HUGE baby in spring, followed by a tiny munchkin in late summer... they will never wear the same clothes. Even the giant's hand me down socks that I stored for 3 years are floppy and strange on her skinny litle ski feet. So I say dress the one you have, in blue, pink, or rainbows, and don't worry too much about the next one.

I kind of love this.  I hadn't thought about the seasons when I thought of hand me downs.



Quote:
Originally Posted by triple07 View Post

So MIL & SIL want to plan the shower for this babe. They originally wanted it all women so it could be "frou frou" but I asked DH to request it be co-ed. We came up with having the "girls" shower at DH's aunts house, which is right next door to our house, and the men and kiddos will be at our house. I have a feeling it is going to be lots & lots of clothes because I don't see anybody actually buying us the cloth diapers/covers that I put on our registry (that's pretty much all I put on there since we have everything else!) and I feel tacky asking for gift cards or money instead of copious amounts of onesies that the babe will more than likely not even wear...

 

 For us I'm happy we're not finding out the sex because it might force people to buy more "practical" gifts than just clothes... is that terrible?  lol.gif .  
 


 

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