Some background: We have a 7 month old foster baby that we've had since she was 3 months old. When I got her at 3 months, I was her 4th mom!!! She's had many attachment issues because of that instability early in her life. When we got her, she showed signs of neglect, even coming from other foster families. We have done as many of the attachment things as we legally can with her and she's showing good progress with bonding to us. She's bright, energetic, happy... and hyper-vigilant. She doesn't seem to want to settle down. Never has from the moment we got her.
She sleeps in a pack and play in our room, just inches from my pillow. I always "nurse" (bottle feed) her to sleep and hold her until she seems deeply asleep. But, most of the time, the minute I move, she awakens. Or, if not right away, she'll wake within 5 minutes of being laid down. We can't co-sleep for legal reasons, but I get up every time she wakens. That is usually 3-20 (literal- I count) times a night (8-12 hour period). It's so disheartening! I always "nurse" her back to sleep outside of her crib and put her back in her bed when she's asleep.
She also doesn't nap. At least not well. Like today- I put her asleep in my arms 3 times but she never made it to the crib once. She probably got a total of 40 minutes during the day. She seems tired but just can't settle down.
I know that you're probably going to tell me that it's her developmental stage but she's never gotten out of it. She's never slept well since we got her.
I feel like we're missing something. I know that CIO isn't the solution but what is?
I really wish we could co-sleep. I think her anxiety would be helped so much by constant contact with us.
She's never more than a few feet from me all day and night. She can go into my arms any time she wants; although baby-wearing doesn't work for me- I'd rather just hold her.
But, because she needs me all day and night, I feel like I never get a break from her. She's zapping all my strength and stealing my sleep.
My husband helps on the weekends, but he works on airplanes during the week and needs his sleep.
She wasn't drug or alcohol exposed.