My husband had a vasectomy a few days ago. We have two kids over 5, a boy and a girl. I had my last one at 34 1/2, and soon after got a Mirena IUD, because I wasn't ready for anything permanent. I am now 39 1/2, so I have had 5 years to say, "No I really do want a third!" I have had 5 years in which I could have experienced "baby lust" but instead I mostly felt content, with only occasional ambivalence about ending our childbearing years. My husband felt even more strongly than I did that two kids was right for our family, given our age, our energy levels, our finances, and our valuing of one-on-one time with the kids we have. But if I had said I really really wanted another, he would have gone along, and said he would have welcomed and loved that child. As the years passed, the thought of having a baby at 38, 39, and now 40 (!) seemed intimidating, especially to a couple who was on the fence anyway about adding to the family. We are not a couple who would terminate our pregnancy if there was a problem.
When we walked into the small operating room for the procedure, I cried, but I did not try to prevent the vasectomy. I could have. Even in the middle of it, I briefly thought about saying, "Stop! Leave one of the testicles alone!" But I did not. Because rationally, I knew it was the right decision for us.
My womb obviously didn't agree, because that night and in the couple days after, rather than the peace I expected, I was sobbing on my bedroom floor, thinking of ways around it. Maybe we could catch the last of the sperm before he was declared sterile, or get it reversed, or adopt. What was I thinking? Birthing and nurturing kids has been the best part of my life, was I ready to move on? I am much calmer now and I don't think it was a mistake. If anything, maybe I should have had a third at 37 or so, but even then, my youngest would not have been ready. And if I really really wanted a third, wouldn't I have had a deeper and clearer longing for that when the option was still there? I suspect maybe my feelings now are a result of wanting what I can't have anymore. Anyway, I wrote all that out to see if there's anyone here who can relate to this. I'd love to hear more stories.