Moms of many: encouraging independence in older sibs « Back to Group Discussions

[XanaduMama]

My kids are 6 and almost 4, and I've felt lately that I need to work on helping them become more independent and more helpful before baby comes. Especially around difficult times/situations like bedtime: getting them to get themselves out of the bath, brush their teeth unassisted, get their PJs on...all without being nagged a million times. Also stuff like cleaning up after themselves, etc. It's going ok, though the 4yo has her challenging moments (unsurprisingly!).

How are you working on preparing your older kids and amending your routines in these ways? Any tips? Last time, I wish I'd done more to fix ds's bedtime needs before baby came, bc that was quite hard at first.

[MaerynPearl]

My 17 month old is learning to get me clean diapers and take care of her dirty ones herself, we may consider working on potty training soon but I don't want to push her into it if she's not ready and she's still quite young for that... she also brings me her shoes and jacket, which is VERY nice considering I have SPD so even walking across the room and bending over to get her shoes off the bottom of the shoe rack is going to add to whatever pain I'm going to get from going out with her.

My 6 year old has been showering on her own and taking care of her own hygiene/dressing since before my last was born... now we're adding in cleaning her own room without our help and either cleaning off and setting the table before supper, or cleaning off and wiping down the table after supper (whichever her older brother does not do) and putting away groceries with me after shopping

My 9 year old is in charge of: his own hygiene/dressing, his own room, table before or after supper, the cats (feed, water and litter... this was his choice between that and the dishwasher lol) and taking garbage/recycling out and bringing the bin back in twice a week (once for garbage, once for recycling, they do it two different days) 

It's very helpful but you really do have to keep after them for quite a while to get them to start doing it on their own... and even then some reminding is necessary... "It's Wednesday, the recycling needs taken out" or "Hey, bring the garbage bin back up before school"

[lbkw]

Originally Posted by XanaduMama 

My kids are 6 and almost 4, and I've felt lately that I need to work on helping them become more independent and more helpful before baby comes. Especially around difficult times/situations like bedtime: getting them to get themselves out of the bath, brush their teeth unassisted, get their PJs on...all without being nagged a million times. Also stuff like cleaning up after themselves, etc. It's going ok, though the 4yo has her challenging moments (unsurprisingly!).
How are you working on preparing your older kids and amending your routines in these ways? Any tips? Last time, I wish I'd done more to fix ds's bedtime needs before baby came, bc that was quite hard at first.

Our kids are pretty close in age and also boy then girl. We are trying to transition to showers (at least sometimes) to get clean but not have the drawn out bath. DD is starting to try to dress herself but usually needs help. I'm hoping that she'll stop wearing diapers at night. She thinks she is done but 4 out of 5 nights woke up wet. 3 out of the 4, she totally slept through wetting in her wet clothes. I don't want to pressure her but she is definitely more challenging in this area than DS was. As far as teeth brushing and bedtime stuff, they are pretty good at doing themselves, just need some supervision. We brush teeth, floss (DS had some serious cavity issues) & go to the bathroom. We generally have to negotiate books. I always feel terrible when I want to read something shorter than they pick out, but sometimes I run out of patience. I'm pretty sure DH will take over most of bedtime when baby is first born. I'm lucky that he is normally around. He will have to curb his gym activity. (poor him)

I have been trying to get them to pick up after themselves better and they are trying to be helpful at setting and clearing the table. Sometimes, it's too much of a good thing. I just don't trust them to wash dishes or load the dishwasher but they think that would be the most fun to do. DD once dropped a dish (and it shattered) when helping me unload.

 

[Nicole730]

I plan on getting DD potty trained before baby comes, she turns two in a few days. I would like DS to be able to buckle and unbuckle his car seat, he will be 4 when the baby comes. I am debating putting them in the same room before the baby comes, but I think I will wait until after.

[LeighB]

Originally Posted by Nicole730 

I plan on getting DD potty trained before baby comes, she turns two in a few days. I would like DS to be able to buckle and unbuckle his car seat, he will be 4 when the baby comes. I am debating putting them in the same room before the baby comes, but I think I will wait until after.

Yes, my goal is to get Dd to buckle and unbuckle.  I think it's unrealistic for us though...she's 4, but has the size of a small 2 year old. 

[Naughty Dingo]

Yeah if we could just master the seatbelt of the booster seat I would be delirious with joy.

ND